TTC#1 with partner that already has children

[wannabeprego]

I am TTC#1 for myself with DH...I am DH's second wife and he has two teenagers from a previous marriage already. I am younger than my DH but I am in my early 30's so I feel like my biological clock is ticking away right now. My DH had a vasectomy reversal and as a result now has a low count and we are struggling to get me pregnant...Every month for me is an emotional roller coaster, heart breaking and when AF comes i usually cry my eyes out, but it doesnt affect DH the same way...Dont get me wrong he has been great as far as doing his part with TTC, but as far as the emotional tole it is taking on me every month, he just isnt being affected the same way as i am. i cant imagine never having any children in my lifetime. I think it would be heart breaking and i would regret it a great deal....Long story short i dont feel like he can understand my pain in dealing with TTC and it has been hard on me...Is anyone else feeling like this??

I mean my DH has already had children, so he wouldnt have regrets if i dont ever get pregnant....it would only be me suffering.....Or at least that is how I feel right now....

 

[ARRIELLE]

Aww... Dont be so hard on yourself hun... How long have you two been trying... He has low sperm, but are you ok? And if you are ok and its him there are many options for ttc with loe sperm count, but its costly i hear... Baby dust!!!

 

[wannabeprego]

Aww... Dont be so hard on yourself hun... How long have you two been trying... He has low sperm, but are you ok? And if you are ok and its him there are many options for ttc with loe sperm count, but its costly i hear... Baby dust!!!

Thanks for the kind words....

I had a routine Gyno checkup and everything checked out okay with that..I have regular periods and do OPK's every month and Ovulate like clockwork on CD13, so as far as I know everything is normal with me, but I am thinking of going to a fertility specialist to make sure it isnt me with the problems and not just due to DH's low sperm count....this October will mark the 2 year anniversary of his vasectomy reversal...so I think by 2012 we will have to to go see a fertility specialist for sure....

DH just has the attitude that "It will happen when it happens...." And I know that this may not be the case and we may need help......Arrgghhhh, i never thought TTC would be this difficult or would hurt this much.....

 

[Tina Bee]

Yea im ttc while dh has two kids already. Sometimes I feel like he doesnt care if I get pregnant or not. However he says he wants us to get pregnant, when the time is right. Its very frustrating. I wish I was the first girl he got pregnant. It would be so much easier.

 

[Aelanu]

Omg wannabeprego, you and I are feeling the exact same way! I am trying for my first as well, but OH already has a son (however, he's six- and OH is 32, whereas I'm going to be 23 on April 15th). He feels the same way yours does, "It will happen when it happens.." but I feel so frustrated because I don't have one and he doesn't understand my feelings, either! I, too, cry whenever shows her ugly face (I'm on day 3 of now ) and I feel completely inadequate- like I can't have kids or something because we've been trying for 7 months (I've been preggo before- I was 17 and it only took ONE "oops" to get me that way! However, I lost at 10 weeks).

You're far from alone, honey. OH doesn't understand my needs either...I couldn't see my life without children, either...but OH seems to think that its just gonna happen. I don't know if he realizes that you only get one shot every month- maybe hes still under that high school impression of, "it only takes one time, one sperm- and bam! pregnant! it could be any time!" which as we all know isn't the case. Yes, one time one sperm...but it has to be the right moment.

I hope you get your soon! Lots of baby dust!

(p.s. I felt like I was reading my life story when you were explaining how OH is and how you feel- the only difference is the vasectomy...OH and I will never get ourselves "fixed". Ever. I feel like its wrong to alter your body in such a way unless its medically necessary- and that includes lypo/beauty treatments- completely unnecessary.)

 

[Aelanu]

Tina- I wish I was the first for my OH too- then I wouldn't have to deal with that b!tch who is a poor excuse for a mother and basically only cares for her son so she can get money out of OH...because she hasn't had a job in 5 years.

Shes worthless.

 

[Amber_Lynn822]

I'm on the same boat ladies!! Except slightly worse, my stepdaughter lives in CA so husband's family is doing their best to make him feel guilty about ttc with me. As for me, I get so frustrated that baby momma got pregnant while on bc and here I am struggling for three years. boo life.

 

[bellahoney]

My DH has children from a previous relationship. They are playing sides and he is so nonchalant and doesn't really say anything..so i feel so stuck and dealing w/emotions! We both want children together. The bm and I are having a meeting w/the kids soon to get to the bottom of the kids behavior. It's stressful and I really like the kids but according to the bm they dont like me (she doesnt want them to like me IMO), How sad she is 40! lol

 

[ARRIELLE]

do you have good cm cd13? maybe if you try some pressed to make sure you have the best cm for his low count swimmer that might help??? i think all men just can be jerks at times...my husband and i are obviously ttc #1, he doesnt have kids either. and he say stuff like it will happen when it happens too, but about 75% of the time he wants one. i think men have mood swings too. and thunk about this as encouragement atleast he was willing to get a reversal!!! some women have to beg for that... so he definetly wants a baby with you!!!

 

[schoolteacher]

wannabeprego my dh had had a vasectomy reveral too-2 years ago! He has 3 grown up chn from previous marriage-19, 21 and 24 yrs old. I agree with everything you said! DH has low sperm too due to the reversal. It's so frustrating! I think our lack of bfp is due partly to that and partly me having long cycles so less chances
I defo don't feel he feels the same hurt and longing I do.
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