tamithomas
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Well, it has officially been 3 years.. well it will be this month, and still no baby. When DH and I first started trying, we knew no one who was pregnant or even TTC. The only person whom we knew that was pregnant was his best friend's wife whom we were excited for beyond words can say! Then 2010 came around, I dunno about you ladies but boy I had never seen such a baby boom in my life. Pregnancy after pregnancy came flooding into our lives and in the celebrity realm, at the time we were genuinely happy for them as we thought it was our turn soon.
2011 comes on by, still getting announcements after announcements but by this time, the "congratulations" were starting to be sarcastic but still hopeful. Then the summer of 2011 is the straw that broke the camels back where I officially started becoming the bitter person towards pregnancy that I didn't want to become. I found out my SIL became pregnant out of a scheme to keep my step-brother around by making a child which evidently worked. She has stopped taking her pill without him knowing so no birth control for only 2 months and she fell PG with ease. That's when my official anger towards pregnancy announcements in general began because how could a woman living with my step brother who still lived with my mom and step dad, had basically no income because my step brother was the only one with a part time job barely making 200 a week. Both major potheads, smokers, energy drink abusers galore and the occasional extremely illegal drugs. How could they get blessed with a child meanwhile my DH and I have a perfect marriage, managed to get ourselves a house, balanced cheque books the whole 9 yards and still an empty cradle. The hardest part was going to meet their son and my step brother saying to me "so when are you gonna make one of these" i felt like in a tv show where you're imagining a scenario in your head of bashing their heads in but in reality you are being polite. Told him "if it happens it happens, i'm not in a rush" which was total bull, we had been trying before anyone started popping up with their "oops" pregnancies.
Every pregnancy is a blessing, don't get me wrong. I let myself go through the 5 stages of grieving each time I now get news of someones pregnancy and have found a coping mechanism that works well for me. Even after it being our 3rd year starting this month, I somehow have managed not to lose all hope. My DH is the reason I have not fallen into a deep depression over it. Yes I do cry myself to sleep a lot, yes I do get pissed at my tv screen if there is a deep moment between parent and child. But since we have a very open marriage where I can basically use him as my emotional punching bag sorta speak by letting my feelings out verbally at him, I am able to stay sane.
I'm not gonna sugar coat it and say it will happen for everyone and that it's meant to happen for everyone when I know it's not true, but what I can say is throw a pity party, buy a punching bag, do something that makes you relieve stress (nothing that puts other people in harms way) find a coping mechanism and let yourself go through the grieving process. You have a RIGHT to feel pissed, a dream of yours is being withheld from you and you need to let that anger and frustration out. Don't let anyone tell you that you're not aloud to feel like shit, just feel it in a moderate way that keeps everyone safe. Once you find that way to let the anger and emotions out, it will feel better. Not saying it's gonna completely heal, that's impossible that hole is gonna be there as long as that dream is not fulfilled but it will relieve some of the pressure and make it easier along the way through the journey.
My DH and I as usual will keep on trying, keeping our fingers crossed. Thanks for listening, have a good one everybody!
2011 comes on by, still getting announcements after announcements but by this time, the "congratulations" were starting to be sarcastic but still hopeful. Then the summer of 2011 is the straw that broke the camels back where I officially started becoming the bitter person towards pregnancy that I didn't want to become. I found out my SIL became pregnant out of a scheme to keep my step-brother around by making a child which evidently worked. She has stopped taking her pill without him knowing so no birth control for only 2 months and she fell PG with ease. That's when my official anger towards pregnancy announcements in general began because how could a woman living with my step brother who still lived with my mom and step dad, had basically no income because my step brother was the only one with a part time job barely making 200 a week. Both major potheads, smokers, energy drink abusers galore and the occasional extremely illegal drugs. How could they get blessed with a child meanwhile my DH and I have a perfect marriage, managed to get ourselves a house, balanced cheque books the whole 9 yards and still an empty cradle. The hardest part was going to meet their son and my step brother saying to me "so when are you gonna make one of these" i felt like in a tv show where you're imagining a scenario in your head of bashing their heads in but in reality you are being polite. Told him "if it happens it happens, i'm not in a rush" which was total bull, we had been trying before anyone started popping up with their "oops" pregnancies.
Every pregnancy is a blessing, don't get me wrong. I let myself go through the 5 stages of grieving each time I now get news of someones pregnancy and have found a coping mechanism that works well for me. Even after it being our 3rd year starting this month, I somehow have managed not to lose all hope. My DH is the reason I have not fallen into a deep depression over it. Yes I do cry myself to sleep a lot, yes I do get pissed at my tv screen if there is a deep moment between parent and child. But since we have a very open marriage where I can basically use him as my emotional punching bag sorta speak by letting my feelings out verbally at him, I am able to stay sane.
I'm not gonna sugar coat it and say it will happen for everyone and that it's meant to happen for everyone when I know it's not true, but what I can say is throw a pity party, buy a punching bag, do something that makes you relieve stress (nothing that puts other people in harms way) find a coping mechanism and let yourself go through the grieving process. You have a RIGHT to feel pissed, a dream of yours is being withheld from you and you need to let that anger and frustration out. Don't let anyone tell you that you're not aloud to feel like shit, just feel it in a moderate way that keeps everyone safe. Once you find that way to let the anger and emotions out, it will feel better. Not saying it's gonna completely heal, that's impossible that hole is gonna be there as long as that dream is not fulfilled but it will relieve some of the pressure and make it easier along the way through the journey.
My DH and I as usual will keep on trying, keeping our fingers crossed. Thanks for listening, have a good one everybody!
I know i have a little girl but wanted to say I completely understand where your all coming from, i had these same feelings before i got pregnant, I remember walking around a shopping centre and just crying because of the amount of pregnant girls - silly maybe but it just felt like it was all to much and I know that maybe i shouldnt have them again as i have a little one - I still seem to be having that same feeling now when i think i may never have another 
its a horrible feeling and hearing people just getting a BFP by blinking at there OH's its just a kick in the gut 
This same person had an ectopic between her second and third child and believes that she understands to some extent what I am going through. I'm sorry but I don't pretend to understand to know what it is like to be a parent so why would somebody claim to understand what it is like to lose two babies and be childless.
