TTC and heartbroken

[Hopeful1016]

October 19, 2016, one of the hardest days of my life. I thought that i was going in for a annual pap and to discuss exchanging my IUD in the spring because the 5 years was up. So he sends me in for an ultrasound to make sure the removal was easy. So I go in and wait for the call which I got a few days later and was asked to come in. I still didn't think to much about it until the worlds "you have an abnormal uterus" came out of his mouth i then asked him what that meant and then he said "It means that you may have trouble getting pregnant and if you get pregnant it may not be easy staying pregnant". I left the office in a bit of a daze unsure of what I was feeling. When i got home my boyfriend, now fiancé just hugged me and let me cry for hours. Then when I thought I couldn't cry any longer he said "well I love you, and I will love you no matter what so lets try" and then went the tears again, this time happy tears and after hours of talking about it we decided to take the IUD out and try. The next day i called my doctor and they set up the appointment and a week later after 10 years of trying not to have children here I was trying to do the the exact opposite. A few weeks later I got the call for the fertility specialist that I was referred to and i went to see him. He told me "Go home have sex and get pregnant and call me when you get a positive:". So we went home and did exactly that. But the first time I got my period I was alright a little scared but I knew the chances of getting pregnant the first cycle is next to nothing. Now here I am sitting on my couch having a melt down that my period came for a second time. Im terrified, worried, and upset that I may not be able to be a mom.

Is there anyone else out there who has advice on how to deal with these feelings or is going through this as well?

I don't want to feel these things but I don't know how not to.

 

[zoe2010]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'll say a little prayer for you. Fingers crossed for you girl!

 

[Cppeace]

These feelings are natural because you are concerned about your ability to conceive. Try not to stress. Even in two totally healthy people it can take a year or more to conceive. I hope you get your BFP in the next couple cycles and carry a healthy bean to term and deliver that beautiful babe!

 

[cutestuff]

Oh hon that stinks. I had been with my dh for 11 years before TTC...married for 4 of those years and turned 30 while TTC. I don't know of any fertility issues but I didn't get pregnant for 10 months....got my bfp month 10. It can take a minute for your cycle and hormones to regulate. And to give you more hope I hadn't been on any birth control for about 5 years before TTC. It can take time and though you may have an uphill battle its not impossible. Your feelings are valid and normal considering what you were told

 

[Bevziibubble]

I'm so sorry I have everything crossed for you

 

[KatO79]

So sorry Hopeful, FXed that you soon get your BFP

As for not getting pregnant the 2nd month they say it can take up to 1 year to conceive and be considered totally normal. The norm is you have about a 15-20% chance each cycle. I don't think you should worry until that year is up, then you can consider what your options are. Also don't get so upset each time AF shows up, that's probably counterproductive to your TTCing.

 

[Ragnhild]

So sorry you're going through this hopeful... fx for you for ttc and everything that comes after! i used to cry each cycle when af showed but now i've found that if i prepare for af showing it helps... i schedule a night of drinks or a trip around the time, if she doesnt show then ill never regret cancelling and if she does then ill have something to take my mind off. Each cycle brings woth it a plethora of emotions, hopes and frustrations. All we can do is to be patient and find ways to cope till then. Hope everything works out for you