TTC as a control freak.

[awnmyown]

Bit of a rant more than anything.

I feel like most of us on the forum are planners. We're planners because we're here intentionally trying to conceive, often with timelines or we have charts or graphs or whatever. Specific intentions on getting pregnant.

And I find that TTC is so frustrating in that regard. No matter how much you do, you still have pretty much everything out of your control. You can't chose when you ovulate. You can't choose for AF to come. You can't choose when you'll catch and you can't choose if it will stick. You can't choose what month you'll get pregnant or what month you'll deliver. You can't chose the sex of your baby. You can't even choose whether or not you're fertile, and for most of us, you don't even know if you are or not, until you actually either get pregnant or don't. Which requires months of waiting and wondering if it's because your timing is off, or you have this problem or that problem, or maybe it's his fertility or something else altogether.

It's frustrating. We plan not to get pregnant for years. At least a decade. And then we want kids and suddenly it's a giant crap shoot every day. That's so f*ing stupid!!! For something as important as creating life? Really? We thought it would be fun to leave that one to chance? Rolling of the dice?? Seriously??

Statistics and math and data only tell us so much. And at the end of the day, you're still just randomly hoping and praying each month.

Ugh.

 

[Wish85]

Well said and it's so true. That's why there is no point trying to control it. I've always been a big believer in having sex when you want to, not because you want to make a baby. Pair that with the belief that things always work out as they should, when they should and you will get what you want! Easier said than done I know, but for your own sanity I believe this really helps.

Good luck on your TTC journey!

 

[jtr2803]

I hear ya! And yet we do all that planning and get ourselves as healthy as possibly, and it doesn't work...... Yet countless others just throw caution to the wind and it happens!

Nature doesn't seem to know the meaning of fair

 

[1nceUponATime]

You said exactly how I feel. I am such a planner. My DH and I waited until it was just the right moment, and then discovered I probably didn't need birth control at all for all these years. We are doing our first injectable cycle, and even though I feel like yay we are finally doing something very serious about this, I still have no control! Maybe my body will react, not react, or over produce! I am having a very hard time not worrying about everything. I feel punished.... Everyone I know got pregnant by accident for their kids. And my DH and I plan a baby, and the universe seems hell bent on not giving us one! Ugh!

 

[awnmyown]

1nceUponaTime, I always wonder if the universe is hell bent on being backwards like that?? You don't want kids, you get them. You do want them and you don't. I know it's random, but some days it feels like someone is messing with us

I remind myself that even if we could have had kids earlier, I wouldn't have wanted to, so I'm happy with our choice to wait. But it doesn't make it any easier. I just wish you could open a book that gave you the date of when you'd be a mom, and you could close it and stop worrying. I honestly am okay with we adopt, I just want to know that it's going to happen and we'll get our family. Save a lot of money on OPKs and Pg tests and sticking my fingers places just to chart positions. Seriously. I'd really like to sleep past 5:30 am if the whole trying to catch the egg the old fashioned way isn't going to work anyway