TTC at 43

[Adele1969]

Hi everyone. This is the first time I've ever posted in a forum so please bear with me. I don't know the lingo either so this is going to be fun. Just looking for advice and someone else's thoughts really.

I'm 43 yrs old. My hubby is 44. We have 2 kids. Girl is almost 20 and boy is 17. Last year (2011) we had a missed miscarriage at 13 weeks. Well that was when we found out. Baby hadn't developed after 7 weeks. The pregnancy was unplanned but we were all thrilled even the kids.

I had an ERPC end Sept and since then we haven't used any contraception. I was using ovulation sticks (the ones you pee on) until April this year and then became so disheartened with it all I just gave up trying and started having fun again (in bed obviously).

I'm wondering whether to have a mirena coil fitted or do nothing and take my chances & hope for the best. Then I'm thinking oh for gods sake you're 43 just forget it and get on with your life. Really unsure of what to do. Hubby would have 10 kids given the chance. I've read up on statistics of birth defects and my chances of becoming pregnant.

Would any of you (if there's anyone here as old as me) keep trying and hoping or should I forget the whole thing?? Opinions and advice would be hugely appreciated ))

 

[IrelandsOwn]

So sorry for your loss, Adele
If you want a baby you should totally go for it! More and more women are having babies at your age now. Only you know deep down what you want to do. Good luck with your decision!

 

[Bec27]

Firstly I am very sorry for your loss...

In terms of whether to try again, you have to do what's right for you, your family and your (potential) baby and their future. There will be so many people who would try in your position and so many who wouldn't- it's your life though hun, not anyone elses so you have to make the decision.

If it was my life I think I would just feel blessed with the 2 children I already have and probably wouldn't want to start all over again with sleepless nights etc. also I would want to enjoy my increasing freedom again as children are obviously older and a lot more independent- but that's just me.

I would just say to make sure you are thinking it through very carefully- don't get caught up in the dream of being a mummy again without thinking through the potential risks and of course how it would change your lives. You have 2 grown up, independent children and life is very different to how it was when they were younger. Make sure it is really what you want before you try.

Best of luck whatever you decide x

 

[Adele1969]

Firstly I am very sorry for your loss...

In terms of whether to try again, you have to do what's right for you, your family and your (potential) baby and their future. There will be so many people who would try in your position and so many who wouldn't- it's your life though hun, not anyone elses so you have to make the decision.

If it was my life I think I would just feel blessed with the 2 children I already have and probably wouldn't want to start all over again with sleepless nights etc. also I would want to enjoy my increasing freedom again as children are obviously older and a lot more independent- but that's just me.

I would just say to make sure you are thinking it through very carefully- don't get caught up in the dream of being a mummy again without thinking through the potential risks and of course how it would change your lives. You have 2 grown up, independent children and life is very different to how it was when they were younger. Make sure it is really what you want before you try.

Best of luck whatever you decide x

Thanks for the response. It's all the issues you've pointed out that make me think I'm being absolutely mad about trying for another baby. Am still undecided as to what to do. Hubby would love a couple more kids (at least 10 he says lol)

It was the whole unexpected wonderfulness of last year that has my mind totally screwed up. I get all the pro's and I get all the con's but neither one seems to outweigh the other and that's where my problem is. I just cannot seem to make a decision either way. I'm usually good at making decisions but on this I just cant seem to