TTC Baby #1 - It's Hard!

[hopefulttc]

Hi everyone! I'm new to the site!

My husband and I are in our early- mid-twenties, just married and trying to start a family. We've actually been trying to conceive for two years since we had our first miscarriage... Only recently have we actually decided to see a fertility specialist and after a LOT of testing we found out that there's absolutely nothing wrong with us except for me having PCOS and therefore struggle with being overweight and apparently not ovulating regularly.

I'm just feeling a little discouraged and frustrated... no one I know seems to understand the struggles I'm going through so I really don't have anyone to talk to. My family and friends are all getting pregnant/have kids already so I'm feeling very lonely. Hopefully I can get some encouragement/support from being apart of this site and going through this journey with others!

Baby dust to everyone xoxo

 

[mama.mouse]

Hi hopefulttc xx

Today was a low day for me as well. They come and go. I said to DH earlier that infertility is the hardest, loneliest journey I've ever been on. Half of my friends are falling pregnant at the snap of their fingers and the other half are not even married yet. Someone close to me announced she was pregnant with her second today and her first was just born when we started. It was incredibly difficult to smile and be happy. The first time I have ever resented someone I loved for something I should have been so happy about. Now I feel so guilty kind of like did she see it on my face? Was it obvious? She had apparently been nervous to tell me which makes it even worse!

You are not alone on this journey. It's harder when you are young like us and everyone says "oh but you have so much time". Nobody understands wanting something this badly and not being able to change the outcome. I've never even seen a squinted of a line on a pregnancy test but I've had every symptom, every clue, I've read every natural remedy and tried all the fool proof tricks.

Chin up honey we are all in this together xx

 

[2ducks]

Hey! You are definitely not alone in this ttc#1 business. It is very hard for many of us especially when you are dealing with infertility issues. You have definitely come to the right place for support. Everyone on this forum who has had trouble ttc has been has had a difficult time at one point or another with another person's pregnancy. Its totally normal and understandable. What is your fertility plan?

Welcome and jump into the conversation!

 

[ILoveme29]

Hi hopeful and welcome to the TTC world with PCOS though its unfortunate there are plenty of ladies on this Forum that completely understand like myself. Im sorry you are going through the struggles.

@mama I know what you mean when people constantly say don't worry your still young. its easy for them to say when they have kids of their own already (most anyway). its very stressful.

 

[BelleNuit]

I think ttc is tough at any age. When you are older you may feel like you are running out of time, when you start younger and it doesn't work out right away you have to make peace with the fact that you may not have a child at the age you always envisioned you would!

I always wanted my first baby when I was 27, unless I get pregnant in the next 2 cycles that will no longer be a possibility

Welcome to the forums. I hope you find the support here that you are looking for

 

[gennifaire]

Welcome.

I havent been diagnosed with PCOS because we havent run tests but I have a strong suspision that I do have it due to difficulty loosing weight, weird periods, etc. Hell, im on CD51 waiting to Ovulate...and this is our second "cycle" trying to TTC! -.- frustratingly enough.

You arent alone. Many of us on here suffer and struggle. I wanted to have my first, to at least be pregnant before I am 30 now. Used to be 26. Im 29...will be 30 by Feb. Fingers crossed we can make that happen ourselves.

Just take each day slowly, breathe in and if its meant to be, it will happen. Dont stress out or you will end up driving yourself insane. I believe all of us have done that at least once or twice at first LOL

Welcome to the TTC!

 

[NoneInTheOven]

Hey there ladies!!
Been TTC for 3.5 years. I'll be 23 next Wednesday, and I hate hearing how much time I have to get pregnant. Was also told by doc to lose weight - down 25lbs and haven't been weighed by doc since initial visit so that's very frustrating. I'm with ya's, it's a lonely journey and sometimes I don't know how I smile and say "congratulations" to people when their pregnancy announcement is like a knife in my heart positive thoughts xo

 

[lovinthesouth]

You have come to the perfect place for support, I am 21 and my husband and I married in April. I've always dreamed of being a mother, but for some reason after we got married my baby fever has been more intense than ever. Well, I finally convinced my husband to start TTC, and I'm hoping we get quick results. This will be the first cycle and AF ended 2 days ago. Praying that this month will be a success, as I am not sure how I will react to know getting pregnant while we are trying. I have regular cycles and can always tell when I'm ovulating, but for some reason I am worried about my fertility. I guess it is because I have been in a relationship for years and although we never did BD, I've also never been on the pill and have yet to get pregnant. Anyways, praying that you get your sweet blessing real soon!

 

[heyhailey]

Girl I'm right there with you!! My husband and I are also young and also have been trying for quite a while now!
For me the they're STILL testing for PCOS. I've done so much bloodwork and just had my ultrasound done and when they called about my ultrasound results they said I have an arcuate uterus and still are unsure about PCOS (did it take you ladies this long for your dr to tell you if you have it or not. We've been running tests since MAY) and I was only having short 16 day cycles so recently my dr put me on birthcontrol and so hopefully that force regulates my cycles. I know it's supposed to help but when she told me she was putting me on BCP I was so sad and just felt like it was an all around huge step back. But anyways welcome and I hope you won't be here for long 💕

 

[BelleNuit]

hailey, with your short cycles it sounds like you likely aren't ovulating. I'm not sure if BCP would help with ovulation or not? Sounds a little strange that that's what your doc suggested!

I had a weird 17 day anovulatory cycle back when I first started trying. Definitely freaked me out! Most people with anovulatory cycles end up with super super long cycles, but I'm at the other end of the extreme. Luckily things seemed to straighten themselves out for me on their own. I think it was just stress induced.

 

[heyhailey]

Belle, the birth control is to try to force my cycles to be longer. They hope that that'll help with ovulation! It makes sense to me but I'm so nervous that it'll just be a huge set back and it'll put my cycles more out of wack. I'm glad yours got better!!! Mine have been slowly getting longer. My cycles have been 16,16,17,18 and now with the bcp I hope I get to a full cycle!!

 

[BelleNuit]

Well I hope its just the trick for you and that things get straightened out! Sounds like your doc wants to work with you on it!

 

[SoBroody91]

Hi! I completly understand your frustrations, and to reiterate what everyone else has said, you are not alone! We've been trying for just over a year, I'm 24, OH is 29. A couple of my friends are now pregnant with baby number 2 and it's so so heartbreaking!! Our time will come, eventually! X

 

[hopefulttc]

Hi all! Thank you so much for your replies... sorry I didn't answer for so long, things got a little hectic for a while. I was absolutely crushed that my first ttc attempt with the fertility clinic was cancelled and bumped right up to the more expensive drugs they told me they didn't think would be necessary for me - Gonal F. My hubby and I took a little time to appreciate being newlyweds and enjoy ourselves before jumping back in, meanwhile trying to get healthier in the process to try to make our chances better once we were ready to try again. So now, a few months later we are ready to try again. I have been taking natural supplements while on my little leave to balance my hormones and have managed to get my cycles back to regular length like during my pre-PCOS days. Going in for U/S and blood work tomorrow and will be starting our Gonal F hopefully!

 

[hopefulttc]

And I'm hoping that everyone else has had much more luck than me! xoxo

 

[Wishx]

I'm with you in this! Not sure if we have infertility issues but i'm scared we do. We have been NTNP for almost a year and recently started actively trying...im 24 years old and people tell me "you have plenty of time" but if you want a big family you have to start young...i feel like im running out of time for 3-4 kids.
I love that someone said its hard to be happy for others when their pregnancy is like a knife to the heart. Both of my sister inlaws want babies (one of them will be their second) and im terrified they will before me.

 

[BelleNuit]

Wishx I can really relate to that knife to the heart feeling. The worst part of infertility is begrudging others around you during what should be a happy time for them. I flat out avoid certain friends because I just can't tolerate it anymore. TTC is making me into a really ugly person

 

[sarah2211]

Wishx, I can completely empathize with the big family thing too. I'm feeling like if it's taking this long to get number 1, we aren't going to have the time to have the 3-4 that we would like.

I'm wondering about the going back on birth control thing because my cycles were much more regular when I first came off. Did it work for you Hailey?

 

[Wishx]

My SO is turning 29 and at this rate by the time we will be on our 3rd kid he could very well be 40-45. I want to voice my opinions on our time line for 3-4 kids and how it will be unrealistic but i know it was hard enough to get him to actively try for #1.
I feel like i need some crazy witch doctor stuff, there should be voodoo dolls for pregnancy!
I dont want TTC to turn me into an ugly person but i have a feeling the next person to announce their pregnancy to me i will literally break down into tears and not in a good way.

 

[ILoveme29]

I can totally relate im 29 DH is 28 we want many but cant even get one its been 3 years. all I see is pregnancy announcements and births of beautiful babies all day online and im here struggling. its really hard. it comes a time when you feel depressed and self shaming yourself because of the struggle. plenty of time Dh had to talk me into stop blaming myself.