TTC for the first time!

[Klaire.x]

i recenlt had a pregnancy 'scare' (i wouldn't call it a scare, because i wasn't really scared. i was excited!) but i've since found out it was nothing more.

i've decided i really want to concive and i've thought reall hard about it. i know it could cause a few problems seeing as im only 16, but i really think it's right for me.

i hope you dont judje me cos of my age!
klaire xx

 

[Zanny]

Does your boyfriend want a baby too? I had my first when I was 17 & I'm not going to lie, it wasn't easy. Having emotional support around you is very important.. I was lucky in that most of my family were happy (eventually) about me being pregnant, & that my boyfriend stayed with me through everything. Good luck!

 

[Klaire.x]

he does indeed!
i know it's not goin to be the best of times, but im willing to deal with that
x

 

[miel]

see klaire work better in here

 

[leeanne]

I don't know hon. Is it something you truly want or something that you think you want?

I am not going to judge or criticize but you have so much time to seriously think about having a baby. And a lot can change between now and later.

I remember when I was dating a guy back when I was 16. Man, I thought I'd be with him forever and I thought I loved him. Didn't think about having kids though.

Yet, we started to grow up and each in opposite directions. At 29 I truly found the love of my life and true love at that.

At 16, I had a lot of growing up to do and I look back and I think of how immature I was and how lessons I learned along the way taught me so much. I look back at the love I thought I had felt at 16 and it truly wasn't true love.

I truly think you need to think this through. Having a baby is not like playing dolls....there's so much more to it than that. Yes, children are such a reward to life, but it can be very tough too. The freedom you once had is no longer there and you cannot think of yourself and your needs anymore.

I find it so hard to wrap my head around those who are young and trying to ttc. I have a daughter and I would be flabbergasted when she turned 16 and told me that she wanted to have a baby. I'd look within myself and have to wonder why. Did I not give her the love and affection she needs? Did I go wrong somewhere? And the big question, WHY?

 

[miel]

well said leeanne

 

[kookie]

Klaire i had my first at 16 but i in no way was TTC. I was lucky to have lots of support to help me out. I wouldnt change having him for anything but you do really need to think this through. Do you's have your own place? do you's work and earn enough to support a baby? and give he/she the life she deserves?and are you willing to give up being a teenager ?Not to mention not being able to do the usual teenage thing like going out drinking, dancing ect its a huge sacrifice to give up being a kid. Like leeane said at 16 you may think you will be together forever but it doesnt always work, sure sometimes it does,but mostly not. I know i thought i was in love with my sons father but he left not long after i found out i was pregnant and i have only seen him a handful of times since my sons now 7 and his father is now in jail, so things can change hugely when your so young . Having a baby is the most amazing thing anyone can ever experience but you need to be 100% sure that your doing it for all the right reasons and not just because you want one i'm not judging you at all but i have been there and know how hard it is even with support just remember you have your whole life ahead of you to have a family please just be sure before you make any decisions good luck xx

 

[m_t_rose]

i've decided i really want to concive and i've thought reall hard about it. i know it could cause a few problems seeing as im only 16, but i really think it's right for me.

i hope you dont judje me cos of my age!
klaire xx

I dont judge you TTC at 16 because I have not lived your life but I do wonder how you have thought really hard about TTC because it wasn't very long ago you posted that you need help because you were scared. TTC is a huge decision not something to be taken lightly as it is a whole life decision not something you can take back. Maybe you should wait a few more cycles and see if you still really want a baby, and everytime you go out or spend money or go to school think about how much more difficult it would be with a child. Remember babies are only tiny for a little while then you have a child who will need you. At 16 you could provide your child with love but not with much else. Love wont keep your child warm, love wont buy school clothes or food. How are you going to pay for bills. Here are some things you should get in order before you TTC.
1. Financial security - do you both have jobs?
2. Place to live - do you and you boyfriend have your own place? It isn't fair to either of you parents to live off them if they wanted another baby they would have one their self
3. relationship stability - How long have you been dating is he going to leave when times get tough?
4. Education - Will you continue to go to school? What will you do with your child while you are at school? How will you pay for daycare costs ect.

If you think you are mature enough to try for a child then you should be mature enought to do some research into the cost of babies and children and housing and all the other things you will need to pay for, and see if your job will be able to pay for it.

 

[m_t_rose]

I have also just finished reading your other post and in it you said

Well, im not too sure. i really dont think id be able to abort or put a baby up for adoption. i mean, thats not really taking responsibility. Im moving down the country to live with my mum in august so i know my boyfriend wouldn't be impressed and he probably would want me to abort.
but, i'd probably keep the baby if i was.

If you boyfriend would want you to abort why is he so on board with ttc now. Plus just a few days ago you were scared and were sure what you would do if you were pregnant. You just didn't want to abort or put your child up for adoption it didn't mean you wanted to keep the baby it was just the only option left. Think about it for a little longer. You are still young and have plenty of time to grow up. Be a teenager while you can don't rush into adulthood just because you are excited.

 

[nikky0907]

Oh,honey,I truly cannot support you in this decision.I may sound like a b**** but I don't consider this a good idea.
You are SO young.You can't possibly be sure that you'll be with your boyfriend forever.
There is so much out there,waiting for you.You have so many options in your life.
What about education,do you have a job,you'll be living with your mom don't you think that she should be included in your decision?You're bringing a child into her home after all.
Don't you want to give your child the absolute best?The best you can do?

You have to build yourself and live life for a bit before you think about helping another human being live theirs.

Now,I don't want to judge,but my pregnancy is completely accidental and my situation is very good(financialy and when it comes to finishing my education).

Now,you had a pregnancy scare recently and you said yourself you were scared.Your situation didn't sound very good,your boyfriend wasn't happy.

Think about the reasons why you want a baby.Talk to your mom if you can...
Cause I don't think you understand how serious this is with all do respect...

 

[Jinty]

I'm 17 at the moment and nearly 21 weeks. I think that if you honestly know what you want and you know the consequences because what you want might not turn out how you want it to, then go for it. But always think ahead it might be bit of a pain but at least you'll be ready for whatever comes at you. Good Luck xxx

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

i recenlt had a pregnancy 'scare' (i wouldn't call it a scare, because i wasn't really scared. i was excited!) but i've since found out it was nothing more.

i've decided i really want to concive and i've thought reall hard about it. i know it could cause a few problems seeing as im only 16, but i really think it's right for me.

i hope you dont judje me cos of my age!
klaire xx

Heya Klaire, i'm 16 + 29 weeks pregnant. this pregnancy has been so hard because i didn't have the support i wished i had but if your sure your ready for that, then seriously good luck!

don't let any one put you down or bad mouth you, which you will get weather your TTC or Pregnant because its hard when your 16 because of the amount of bad publicity is said about young mums. we have to prove them wrong and if your ready to take it on well i know your stronger than people think.

good luck!
if you ever need to talk am nearly always online xxx

 

[ella170]

think about next year on in 2 years time wen all ur m8s are jettin off to places like malia, zante or other club islands..i no all of my m8s are lookin foward to that this summer, while im goin to have to stay at home at miss out on it. when u have a baby, u wont be able to leave ur baby for days or weeks at a time when u want a relaxing break with friends or ur bf, ur basically completly attatched to it for the next 18 or so years. im 17 and im missing out so much, my class is going to hollywood next year on a school trip and i really dont think ill be able to go. its ur decision, but ur life hasnt even started yet, u just dont realise that yet. there really is so much to look foward to, maybe u should think more about where u want to be in a few years time. u will never be completly free to do whatever u want, u have to be really selfless when u have a kid and be prepared to always put them first. i dont think anyone deserves such a huge responsibility at such a young age x

 

[mrscookie]

hey babe. How did you get your own place at 16? Thats good going if you have, thats me presuming that you must have...and a full time job too? Both you and your fella? You got money set aside for baby?

I was 15 when I met a lovely guy, we fell in love and at 16 I thought i 'wanted' his baby. Then at 17 (3 years later we split up)
If i had his child i dunno what id have done, id be tied to him forever whether i liked it or not. At 16 you are determined that ''he is the love of your life'' etc, and for some people it genuinely is, i know people still together from 16, but quite often, it just does not work out.
get a job, get a home, baby sit- and then make a decison.
I wish you luck, and truley hope you dont make a wrong decision.

-dont take the tax payers money as a way to cope.

Good luck babe


xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[nikky0907]

hey babe. How did you get your own place at 16? Thats good going if you have, thats me presuming that you must have...and a full time job too? Both you and your fella? You got money set aside for baby?

I was 15 when I met a lovely guy, we fell in love and at 16 I thought i 'wanted' his baby. Then at 17 (3 years later we split up)
If i had his child i dunno what id have done, id be tied to him forever whether i liked it or not. At 16 you are determined that ''he is the love of your life'' etc, and for some people it genuinely is, i know people still together from 16, but quite often, it just does not work out.
get a job, get a home, baby sit- and then make a decison.
I wish you luck, and truley hope you dont make a wrong decision.

-dont take the tax payers money as a way to cope.

Good luck babe


xxxxxxxxxxxx

I second that...exactly what I was trying to say.
But of course we can't tell you how to live your life so...
Best of luck xxx

 

[sao]

this post is very like the last one i read from summer-sun so i wont shadow what i typed there. I'm pregnant and 17 and trust me its hard i had a flat a job i was at college and although i dont regret keeping my baby at all i know its hard me n my OH have had to give up alot which i dont mind about but ive had to move home and the feeling of having to rely on my mum and dad till my OH gets his army house is horrid and i feel...honestly ashamed that ive not been able to do it myself and im determined to make it better i'm OH is now earning enough to sopport me and baby is i go back to college part time but its going to be far from easy please just think about it give yourself a few weeks atleast

sao xx

 

[_Alice_]

Arrghhhhh!!! Why do young girls do this!!!!

 

[Emsi76]

It always begs the question " what do your parents think" of this stupid idea???

At 16 you get pregnant by mistake, you don't plan it!! What do you have to offer this baby?? What will you teach it??? Where will you live?? How will you support yourself???

Yes, i sound like a bitch, but at the end of the day this is a whim and as soon as your friends start going out and you are staying home with stinky nappies, you will realise just how daft the whole idea is!

Yes, this is harsh, but true! from 20 - 30 you change emmensely and you are not even at this stage yet!

Wait, get some life experience and a life long partner and go for it! Don't make a mistake which will alter your life forever!!!

Good luck

 

[Serene123]

This is going to sound hypocritical (as I'm 18 and pregnant) but having a baby when you're a teenager is NOT easy. It's painful, it's uncomfortable, it changes your body completely and you aren't ready (no matter how many times people say "you can do this"). Are you ready to be judged by every person you pass in the street? Babies aren't cheap either. Have you finished school? Have you decided what you want to do with your life or is this it, you're just going to be a mum and nothing else? Jesus christ, if I hadn't had gotten pregnant by accident I'd be looking forward to my career and getting myself stable before I had a baby. I'm doing the best with the hand I've been dealt right now but you could go to college, do amazing things, and be able to give a child EVERYTHING one day.

 

[Serene123]

Heya Klaire, i'm 16 + 29 weeks pregnant. this pregnancy has been so hard because i didn't have the support i wished i had but if your sure your ready for that, then seriously good luck!

don't let any one put you down or bad mouth you, which you will get weather your TTC or Pregnant because its hard when your 16 because of the amount of bad publicity is said about young mums. we have to prove them wrong and if your ready to take it on well i know your stronger than people think.

good luck!
if you ever need to talk am nearly always online xxx

Rachel, people aren't judging her for becoming a teenage mum they're judging her for wanting to be one. Would you honestly be pregnant now if you had been given the choice?