TTC hesitation now that I'm O'ing

[fairycat]

I'm 3 weeks post D&C as of yesterday evening. I started getting O pains last night and they continued through today. Super excited about that!! It is usually painful enough that I can feel it, but today was extra painful. We were walking around the fair a lot, so I could feel it with every step. In my mind, I keep expecting to try again after my first period. Since things got real and I'm ovulating again, I've started to get really hesitant. I don't know what to do. I know I have another month or so to think about it, but how do you decide when to TTC again? The hesitation isn't emotional - I'd like to lose some weight before getting pregnant again. I have a herniated disk, plus crunchy knees which could be greatly helped by some weight loss. I have 40 lbs total I need to lose, but to lose any significant amount to be even remotely where I'd like to be before trying, it's going to take quite a few months, and I really don't want to wait so long. I've gained so much weight since the D&C, which mostly I believe is from all the bloating, plus a couple pounds from eating totally crappy. I don't know what to do. Is anybody else in this boat? I'm turning 34 next week, so this plays a huge part as well. The husband wants to try ASAP. I just have very mixed feelings about it. I've been eating my feelings since the loss, so I don't even know if I'd emotionally be able to lose weight in the next few months anyway. We don't have any kids, so my clock is really ticking. I'm frustrated with myself.

 

[ReadynWaiting]

I think you need to wait until you feel you are ready. Ttc is very stressful especially with losses and if you don't feel like you are where you want to be to ttc your body may not cooperate. GL

 

[Vicky_92]

I haven't had my first AF since my M/C but I'm trying again anyway, I had a positive OPK not yesterday but the day before. I'm not scared to try again incase i have another M/C... I'm scared I'll not get pregnant again, as it took us a good while to get pregnant. I really hope you can decide soon. For me I NEEDED to start TTCing again, I feel like it helps me overcome in emptiness I'm feeling.

 

[fairycat]

I hear you Vicky about needing to get pregnant to fill the emptiness. That's how I feel too - I just feel incomplete now. I think we'll probably start right away next month. I'll gain weight with pregnancy anyway, I'll just do what I can between now and then. I'm ready in every other way.

 

[Vicky_92]

Glad I'm not the only one 😘. If your ready in every other was I would say go for it. Eating healthy and exercise will be good for you if you get pregnant soon and if not then you will still be losing the weight you wanted too. FX for you and I hope you and me get our rainbow babies soon xx

 

[fairycat]

Thanks, I hope we do too Vicky! Fx for you! And I like your thinking We got pregnant first try with our first pregnancy, so hoping we won't have any problems for the next one - just hope we have a normal one this time.

 

[ReadynWaiting]

Fairycat- if you feel ready you should Def do what works best for you. You just sounded like you wanted to get things "in order" before ttc again.
I am 3 wks past an emergency d and c and am pretty sure i ov'd yesterday or today and didn't hesitate to dtd. I figure if I'm meant to get pg I will and if not well on to the next month.
This is my 2nd d and c this year and both drs that performed the surgery said you don't have to wait.
I hope you both get your Rainbow soon.

 

[fairycat]

Thanks ReadynWaiting, I hope you get your rainbow too! My doctor told me to wait until my first normal cycle. I at least want to wait 1 cycle so if there's any junk left over it can get out.

I would like to get things in order before TTC, but I'm not sure it would happen. My eating habits are awful right now, so it will take a while. I'd like to have a kid before turning 35. What if we want more than 1? That scares me a little. I don't want to be 40 and having babies, I feel old already, can't imagine in 6 more years lol

 

[lilmisscaviar]

I'm sorry about your loss, Fairycat. Unfortunately I know where you're coming from. I have exactly the same emotions except that I've suffered three losses in a row. I've had two cycles so far since my last m/s and I've noticed I've become more in tune with my body. I believe I'm coming up to ovulation now because before I O'd with the last two cycles I always had diarrhea (sorry about the tmi) and a lot of cramping down there. I've also been feeling very fatigued. These are things that I never noticed before my third loss but that I do now. I keep wanting to ttc again to fill that void. It is so hard going on Facebook and seeing all the pics of newborn babies my friends have had or even seeing a pregnant woman in public because I keep thinking if this didn't happen that would be me and we'd be expecting again. However, when ovulation came around I always get hesitant I guess because I'm worried it will happen again. Sorry about the long post, I didn't want to read and run so I thought I'd let you know that you're not alone. When I ask my midwife when it would be a good time to try again, she just tells me "when you feel like you're ready". I suppose that day will come for us both.

 

[fairycat]

Thanks for your reply, I'm sorry you are having the same emotions. I hate that generic response people give us "when you feel ready." Well, I feel ready now, but then I still have doubts about the right timing. I guess there is none, really. I feel so ready to just have a baby in my tummy that is healthy and growing.

 

[Justme43]

Hey fairycat - I understand completely. I think that is why I freaked when we slipped up last night. Yes I am ready to ttc but I want to do it right. Of course the fear is there too. So you're not alone with the range of emotions.

It is still so soon for us and I think our emotions will remain all over the place until something...anything happens. Whether its AF, O or a pregnancy. We just want something to happen to show that our bodies are back to normal and ready..

Hang in there...

 

[fairycat]

For sure!!! I got so excited when I ovulated! I've never been so excited in my life for O pains lol

You're not alone in slipping up this month. There are many who do it. I almost did, but forced myself to refrain. And you know.. some heal much faster than others - I'm afraid I heal on the slower end (physically).