TTC/In-Law Question ***LONG***

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by JanetPlanet, Nov 19, 2011.

  1. JanetPlanet

    JanetPlanet Well-Known Member

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    First, I adore my husband’s parents. They are much nicer to me than my own family and I would never want to do anything to hurt them.

    BUT, a couple of weeks ago during their weekly phone call, my mother and father in-law told my husband that they had bought their train tickets and gave him their itinerary for their visit with us during the holidays.

    Ummmm, we never invited them. We live about a 10-hour drive away from them and we were just there in April. Not easy because my husband is self employed and anytime not working means no income.

    We have not told anyone in the family that we’re TTC because we all know how stressful that would be. I’ve started treatments, IUI (with sperm washing at a different location from where the IUI clinic is, it’s a day-long thing). Femara, daily injectables, ultrasounds several times a week etc.

    I am in my early 40’s and cannot put this off. Every month could be my last chance. I cannot just take a break for a month at this age. I’m already on a break this month because of residual follicles.

    Having my in-laws here stresses me out desperately. It doesn’t have anything to do with them being my in-laws, it could literally be anyone. It has to do with me being the hostess, maid, short-order cook, Christmas present shopper, Christmas picture organizer, Christmas card writer and sender, bookkeeper for our business , etc. I could go on and on. PLUS the fertility treatments. It absolutely ruins Christmas for me. I feel like I cannot enjoy myself. That makes me very angry. Not to mention that we are still at the end stages of construction and my house is the messiest it’s ever been…and I’m VERY sensitive about that.

    I have fantasies about running away from home, and honestly, I think I would if not for the fact that I need my husband in order to get pregnant. My hubs is really a wonderful man, but he is wrong wrong wrong in this situation. He should have IMMEDIATELY told them that he would talk to me and see if this will work out for us.

    My hubs is self employed so his schedule is very difficult to predict. I know he’ll be working at least some of the days his parents will be here. They would be staying at a hotel just like they did last year, but that was of little relief as they were here from sun up to sun down. Again, I love these people and enjoy being with them. It’s not them personally, it’s the fact that I just don’t feel like I can deal with this extra stress while TTC.

    I mean, how am I supposed to hide my injectables in the refrigerator where they can’t see them? What am I going to say when they ask where I’m going when I’m getting my ultrasounds and acupuncture and taking my millions of supplements and doing weird fertility things? Not to mention that my hubs typically doesn't feel very sexy when they're around (if you know what I mean).

    How do I get out of this? I’m not angry at my in-laws, I’m angry at my husband…but how do I get out of this without hurting my in-laws feelings?

    It’s also possible that I’m being ridiculous. Please tell me if I am.
     
  2. baby_fugirl

    baby_fugirl 1 DD & Expecting DS

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    :hugs:Sorry to hear about your situation! I wish I could do something to help you,I wish I could send you my mini fridge so you can hide your injections in your room.:hugs:
    They wont be down your throat every second I am sure. They might have other things to do. I sure everything will work out. :hugs:
     
  3. AC1987

    AC1987 Mom of 2 DD's

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    Well that just sucks!:hugs: I cant say I can relate to what you're going through.. but I do know that it is very tough TTC with family about. :(
     
  4. cochy115

    cochy115 Well-Known Member

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    What does your hubby have to say? What a stressful situation :( I would feel the same way. Unless he says something, I'm afraid you'll just have to dance around them during the holidays. Acupuncture is a totally normal thing. You could say that you've been trying to relieve some back pain and that you've enjoyed acupuncture for the past few months. Leave it at that. I wouldn't suspect a thing. You could use the chiropractor excuse for your ultrasound appts. Hide the injections... I don't know. That's all you can do. At least they're not staying at your house.

    :hugs:
     
  5. catielove

    catielove TTC w/ PCOS- med free

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    I can sort of understand where you're coming from. My MIL only lives an hour and a half away, but every time she visits, she invites herself to spend the night. (And then criticizes my cleaning or our guest quarters. Of which there are none. lol) It's extremely irritating but DH doesn't see a problem with it. I find it awkward to have her around, even before we started TTC. I feel like I can't be my usual self in my own home!

    I would talk to your husband about it if it's really bothering you. Maybe he can explain to them that now isn't a great time for a visit.
     
  6. JanetPlanet

    JanetPlanet Well-Known Member

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    OMG! Maybe I should just count my blessings. lol I feel for you. But that would be something my own mom would do. My in-laws never have anything but praise and compliments for me.

    I really appreciate everyone's responses. Even though it doesn't change anything, I don't feel quite so alone now. Thank you!
     
  7. Mrs Bee

    Mrs Bee Well-Known Member

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    Wow.... I'd be annoyed too! I don't like my inlaws but having family around at Christmas is more stressful than fun IMO... Id ask if ur hubby could get you guys out of it saying you were hoping for a quiet holiday season...

    Best wishes ttc... I've got my fingers crossed for u :)
     

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