TTC & working full-time

[Rachel320]

I am finding it SO hard to balance TTC with work and it's making me feel truly miserable. I have been TTC for 6 months and I know for a lot of people that must sound like nothing, but it's all relative and feels long to me. I feel so low with it all and it's making me not want to do anything else but just sit in my house and I can't do that because I need to go to work.

I could never have anticipated how emotionally draining this whole process is . Any moral support or advice?

 

[sarah2211]

We are on our 8th month TTC and I know what you mean. It's hard to get up and face the world some days. Some days it just feels like the days are passing by as you wait for the next point in your cycle. It can become very consuming and work can just seem like it's not really worth it or too much effort.

I try my best to use work as a distraction, although for me, I work with young children and their families, so it isn't always easy.

Good luck, I hope you get your BFP soon

 

[gennifaire]

You have to breathe, darling, breathe.

Good things come to those who wait.

Also - if its been 6 months. Are you and your SO under 35? I believe they say at 6 months-12 months to be checked out to see.

It can be VERY frustrating, trust me. I work FT and am TTC to. Its frustrating sometimes

 

[Rachel320]

Thanks ladies. I just feel like every month drags me down further and further. I was so excited about my career before TTC and now it just seems so insignificant.

Gennifaire, I am 27 and he is 28 so I know we are still in the majority statistic for TTC. I've had a couple of hormone tests. I initially had high prolactin months and months ago but it settled back down again. Think I'm going to ask for the progesterone blood test this month - the one that potentially proves you're ovulating. If I haven't conceived by next month then I want the full CD 3 blood works.

I feel like leaving my job - that's where I am with this. I don't even know if that's normal!

 

[Mazzle]

I think maybe it's a normal feeling Rachel- you are longing for something and trying so hard for something that's such a big change to your life- maybe when it doesn't seem to be happening, you're looking for something you CAN change, to get some control?

 

[WishnandHopn]

I'm sorry you're sad. I find it hard too. I am SO distracted at work.

We've been trying for 6 months and I feel like everything is on hold. I find it helps to distract myself, plan date nights with dh, repaint the living room, girls night out, reorganize closets, go away for for the weekend. You need to live your life, even while TTC! I know this is easier said than done. Hope you feel better soon and get your BFP!

 

[mama.mouse]

I agree with the ladies honey! You just need to breathe! I also work full time and around 9 months TTC I realised how restricted my life had become "just in case" I was pregnant. After a particularly disappointing month I told DH I need a little break. We took a month off, I hung out and drank with my friends, I partied and danced and drank coffee and ate junk food and it was wonderful.

When we started again I realised how important it is to not take the time that DH and I have as 'just us two' for granted. Eventually free time will become a thing of the past!

You will find your balance. You just need to let yourself relax. xx

 

[Rachel320]

Mazzle - interesting point about gaining control in my life but I honestly think I'm just so emotionally exhausted from it, and perhaps much sooner than others :/

Wishnandhopn - that is exactly how I feel, everything is on hold. I think even working part time right now would help because it would let me dedicate more time to keeping myself calm and relaxed as possible. Whereas just now I feel like I'm juggling lots of plates. It probably wouldn't be stressful to most people, but I am finding it very stressful.

Mamamouse - nice story, and yes I need to find my balance. I just don't know how to find that working FT and stressing SO much about all of this. Finding a new job (anything) which allows me to work part time might be the answer but I'm going to play it all by ear until the end of my current contract. Sometimes you just know what you need and you need to bite the bullet...whatever happens I'm going to make sure to prioritise me being calm because I NEED to get myself relaxed and if not working for a while is what it takes then so be it. Last cycle I spent my whole fertile week with a stomach flu and I think I probably caught it because I'm so uptight about everything a lot of the time!

 

[sarah2211]

Rachel, just an idea, have you tried yoga? I was having a really tough time at work last year, before TTC and my rheumatologist suggested yoga. We lived rurally last year so no chance of finding a class. But I found Yoga With Adriene on YouTube. I was sceptical, but she's funny and makes it easy. Her videos are 5- 60 mins long. She has two 30 day challenges and some one off videos. I did it for a good 2-3 months but then we moved, wedding, new job etc and haven't got back into it.

I'm going to start back today

 

[WishnandHopn]

For me personally...I have to keep busy because when I'm idle and have free time all I do is obsess about why I'm not pregnant yet! I guess everyone is different. Maybe try taking a week off work and see how it goes....did you feel relaxed and calm or bored and anxious and even more obsessed with TTC!

 

[Ask4joy]

I completely understand! I am a kindergarten teacher and the last few months of the school year are always crazy and hectic...well, the whole year is but especially the end! I definitely think stress and exhaustion has played a role in me not getting pregnant the last 2 cycles. I'm hopeful that summer break will bring rest and relaxation and a BFP! Sounds like you need a vacation! Anything in the pipeline?

Baby dust!

 

[Rachel320]

Thanks everyone, this thread has been SO helpful the last couple of days and I don't feel nearly as bad as I did the first day I posted. I still think I have decisions to make about job things but going to give myself time to make those calls.

Sarah - thanks for the yoga recommendation. I have dabbled with yoga in the past but realise you need to really stick with it to get he benefits so will definitely check out the YT instructer you mentioned

Ask4joy - that's interesting you feel the same way. Did your stress change your actual cycle or did you just feel that stress prevented you from con conceiving? The body is so clever and sometimes I think that your body panics when we are stressed over long periods of time and decides that it's not a good time to get pregnant and that actually prevents conception. It would make sense. It's so lovely that you'll get a long break. I'm going away for a week in 2 weeks time which I am SO excited about but wish it could be longer. But it will give me time to think about things and figure out what I need to do. I might take time out from the industry I'm in and just work PT anywhere to get a break and relax to help this happen....