Turning down a free holiday?

[missk1989]

Last summer my MIL offered to take us on holiday. She paid for everything including lo passport. I really didnt want to go, I get on with her pretty well but a week with her is something else. I gave in as OH really wanted to go and I knew we wouldnt be able to afford a holiday ourselves. It was just as I expected, her trying to take over with Isaac and constantly telling us we were overprotective for keeping him from staying in the pool too long and avoiding certain foods (he was 10 months old at the time). It wasnt too bad, but I wouldnt want to do it again. But OH just told me she has offered to take us again and I dont want to go. Even if I wanted to, the only week my OH can have off is in september and I am a teacher so can only go in summer holidays. Because I teach in a college and still hold any off site classes over the summer, my OH and MIL seem to think I should be able to go anytime but they have a policy which I was told about when I started. I dont know how to turn this holiday down without sounding really ungrateful but going is not an option, a- I dont want to, b- I cant get time off work and c- we cant afford to as im on an hourly contract and wont get paid having used my holidays for our wedding next month.
What do i say???

 

[Equreuil]

"It sounds lovely and we appreciate the gesture but I don't have any vacation time available, as I used it for our upcoming wedding."

Even though he doesn't seem to understand how your job goes, Your OH should have a good enough concept of your finances to know you can't afford to take unpaid time off.

Have a good discussion one-on-one with your OH first, and make sure you guys are on the same page before telling his mother anything. Use reasons B and C, since A might start a fight.

 

[Pearls18]

I would say you've got the best excuse really, not much to say if you can't get the time off work

 

[LoveCakes]

The leave excuse is best as it's true and there's nothing you can do about it.

I know how you feel. I get on OK with MIL but she arranged a trip to New York for FIL's 60th. She paid accommodation but we paid flights and half the food bill. We ended up spending more than we normally would and it was our holiday for the year (at Easter) as we couldn't afford to go away again though they had a summer holiday booked. She's talking about another US trip for her 60th in a few years but I'm hoping I'll be on to number 2 or 3 by then.

Holidays are for relaxing and spending time with your family, going away with even my own parents wouldn't be the same.

 

[Leesy]

Will your OH suggest he goes and takes LO? If you just use the can't get time off excuse is this something that would make you uncomfortable?

 

[missk1989]

It would make me uncomfortable yeah because she would try to be mummy for the week and my oh would happily let her do what she wanted. Saying that my oh wouldn't do it. He is going to new York in two weeks without me already and he wouldn't want the hastle of lo asking for me all the time as lo is such a mummy's boy.