Uggghhhh just tired so easily mad at dh.

[Spudtastic]

So I need a rant with people who will understand.

Overall I have a great husband who works hard but sheesh he pressed the wrong button just now. I do ALL the childcare. He works hard but he comes home and drinks etc and I feel that all responsibility is left to me. I think he's changed a nappy a dozen times in total for our two kids. He's never bathed them. I do all bedtime stuff, night get ups etc etc. I've been up between 4 and 6 am every day for the last 3.5 years.
And with clocks going forwards and my 8 month old waking up a lot in the evening's I get my own time when I'm asleep. I love my babies though. I don't mind doing it for them.

OK my house is always a mess and my dh never complains so that's great.

But I've been asking him for half an hour just me for the last two weeks. I've been asking him twice a day but there's always an excuse. 'I just have to plant trees' 'I need to rake. .'I need to mow the lawn' etc etc
.so I asked him just now and he said

'I can do...' and because it was it that tone of voice that has a 'but' next I jumped down his throat and said he always has an excuse. He never does it. I told him I'm so exhausted I could cry and he got mad at me and said he didn't deserve me saying that.
I'm not the kind of person that flies of the handle easily. I didn't even shout when I said it. But I'm just so tired I'm so upset.

 

[Left wonderin]

Oh spud don't feel bad . You are Intitled to let off steam every now and again ! You have a lot going on !! Me and my sisters were just discussing how easy men have it and how they manage to do less than 20% of child care and still manage to make you feel guilty/ bad for asking for a dig out every now and again !!

My favorite is when oh had been away for a day and night ( he competes for the country in a sport so has to travel to competitions regularly ) I might have had both for 48+ by myself . He strolls in takes over for about 15 mins .. Ie takes Ds out to help clean out the car ect .. Then comes back in and says now its your turn I'm wreaked !!!! WTF !!!

Like you I LOVE my babies and never ever mind caring for them .. But how do men do it ??
Its like they have this ability to block out alot when it comes to Childcare , any needs .. Bathtime ect .......

Sounds like you need a good rest !!! But don't feel bad about giving out ... Sometimes they need a wake up call lol

 

[salamander91]

You are totally justified in snapping. Hubs was the same until I had a complete breakdown one morning. I couldn't stop crying to the point he had to stay home from work. He sent me to bed and watched the kids and has been great helping me since.

I hope your DH realises soon you need some help and some 'me' time xxx

 

[Spudtastic]

Oh spud don't feel bad . You are Intitled to let off steam every now and again ! You have a lot going on !! Me and my sisters were just discussing how easy men have it and how they manage to do less than 20% of child care and still manage to make you feel guilty/ bad for asking for a dig out every now and again !!

My favorite is when oh had been away for a day and night ( he competes for the country in a sport so has to travel to competitions regularly ) I might have had both for 48+ by myself . He strolls in takes over for about 15 mins .. Ie takes Ds out to help clean out the car ect .. Then comes back in and says now its your turn I'm wreaked !!!! WTF !!!

Like you I LOVE my babies and never ever mind caring for them .. But how do men do it ??
Its like they have this ability to block out alot when it comes to Childcare , any needs .. Bathtime ect .......

Sounds like you need a good rest !!! But don't feel bad about giving out ... Sometimes they need a wake up call lol

Thanks Leftwondrin. I came back on here to delete my post because I felt bad but you made me feel so much better. It's so true. Men manage to make you feel guilty when asking for a break. I don't have any family here either (I live overseas ). Yet they're totally happy to have lots of time to themselves. I feel alot like a single parent.

 

[Spudtastic]

You are totally justified in snapping. Hubs was the same until I had a complete breakdown one morning. I couldn't stop crying to the point he had to stay home from work. He sent me to bed and watched the kids and has been great helping me since.

I hope your DH realises soon you need some help and some 'me' time xxx

Sorry to hear that Salamander. I came very close at tea time. Husband was still grumpy at me. My 8 month old had some milk and fell asleep on me. Dh got himself some dinner then watched as my 3.5year old was pushing her little sister. So I got up and miss 3 followed me and was just being a 3 year old. All whilst dh watched and I was in tears. Normally I could handle it easily. Maybe aunt flo is coming back. Oh grief.

 

[Left wonderin]

Somedays just suck !!!!!