Ugh, 6.5 and such dreadful behavior!

[minties]

Thomas is like a teenager crossed with a 2 year old! We just had a 40+ minute battle, because he demanded food, and I said he had to help prepare it. Oh. My. God.

He thrashed. He screamed, cried and shouted. Ran to his room wailing "muuummmyyy" till he went hoarse. Came back out and sulked and sniffed. Demanded food again. I said he can come into the kitchen and help. Screaming and crying and "do I have to work aaalll daaay". Meanwhile, I washed the dishes and Sophie dried and put them away. She has a cold and is feeling yucky but came in, got her stool and helped with a smile.

All Thomas had to do was pass me the cereal, a bowl and the milk.

He deploys a tantrum for everything and it's wearing me down. Tells me I hate him, that I want him to be sad, all this guilt inducing stuff. He's whining at me now " you don't like me, you're horrible, you can't do this to me" as I type this.

Drops stuff all over the house, messes his room up and doesn't care, never helps unless forced to and cries and acts like the above.

I'm about ready to cry myself! I only ask him to do such minor things, and it always, always ends in screaming and crying.

I don't know where I went wrong, and I hate to say it about any kid and it's obviously my fault, but he acts like such a spoilt brat.

I'm not yelling, smacking or anything like that. I'm polite and firm, but it gets me nowhere. I lay out what I would like him to, what I will do.to assist, and the consequences if he doesn't want to participate.

 

[Wobbles]

I'm so glad I've not heard the you hate me or I hate you out of my girls .... yet!

Do you ever get some 'you' time with the kids individually? Megan can be a handful and I try to make time for both to 'check in' specifically if something feels wrong I ask them if there is anything wrong and the changes I see, if there is a reason, are they upset about anything etc x

 

[minties]

I do try, can be tricky! I called the team that are looking after his mental health (he's on a waiting list to see a child psychologist, public funding) and they suggested Oppositional Defiance Disorder, or something like that. Sounds like him

 

[OliveOil]

My initial thought is that he feels insecure, less important, as if you love the girls more. Kids often react the way he is for tose reasons.

 

[OliveOil]

Side note, i came on here to read similar posts To get som insight into my 5yo daughters personality 'issues'.

 

[xxsteffyxx]

I have the same issues, so although I am unable to offer an advice other then 'hang in there' I feel your pain. The language that comes out of my 5 year old sons mouth is foul and makes me want to vomit, not to mention embarrassing. I never raised a thug, but sometimes I refuse to take him out because I fear someone will take him the wrong way.

Unfortunetly again, I'm just saying I wish I could offer help. I just remain calm, consistent, firm and make sure that I keep all eye contact. If Harvey doesn't back down, then I stop what I am doing for him. And wait until he is calm before I carry on.

Good luck x

 

[jd83]

Jaxon has some moments that sound just like this. Not all the time, but man, when he gets in a mood like this, it's like alllll day long. He did this on vacation last month, throwing a massive tantrum about the dumbest stuff, then sulking through meals, etc. It was unbelievable, and just like you said, made me think he was acting like such a spoiled brat. I was tempted to just not get him any souvenirs or anything while we were on vacation, since he was being so unappeciative of it and acting like that, but sitting down with him and having about an hour discussion about behavior, and how him acting like that makes us feel, and how we weren't feeling like he appreciates all the effort we put into making something so nice happen for him, and how if that's how he TRULY felt, we could just be done and go home. With nothing. Or. He could turn that attitude around immediately, and start showing that he appreciated being there, and WANTED to be there, and he would get to enjoy the rest of the trip, and all the nice things we had planned.

He still gets attitude like that sporadically, and yells through the house that everyone hates him, he should go live in the woods since noone wants him, blah blah blah....It's crazy the things that come out of his mouth when he's in one of those tirades. I usually just give a much shorter version of the turn the attitude around talk, and remind him of all that I have to do around the house, and if he'd prefer to switch roles, we can do that right now. Or he can do the one simple thing I asked, and quit with the dramatics. If he continues, he goes to his room until he's done acting like that. I am absolutely dreading teenage years, if this is any indicator of what's in store.