UGH?!?!? (FOB RANT) (Finally learned his *alleged*childs name)

[jaytee146]

FOB called this morning for a minute and said
"How are you and your business?"
I say she's fine (me)
why do you refer to my child as my business or it? What you don't know her namee do you?

"Ugh... no.. this whole situation is confusing" "I've been left in the dark on so much"

I tell him her name and hang up.

HONESTLY!!!! THE ONLY THING HE WAS LEFT IN THE DARK ABOUT WAS MY DELIEVERY and my current employment.. I don't want him following me. Out of all the times since he's called, when he wasn't bragging about how he's moved on or telling me he's waiting on the government to get involved for him to step up. He's not once asked me her name, could he see her, what's she look like, or even asked for a F*****G PICTURE!
You seriously have to wait on someone to tell you to be a father... since you claim she's not yours it looks like you would have jumped at the chance to provide DNA to show I was lying, but noooooooooo you want ME to suffer for not inviting you to the birth of MY CHILD! and who suffers MY CHILD! If you cared anything about her remotely you'd ask or at least come up with half for a DNA test... too much like right.. you wanna sit on your !!! and let me shell out 350.00 if I don't want to wait on a court date which takes YEARS FROM WHAT PEOPLE HAVE TOLD ME since I don't have a lawyer... All you do is take and destroy, you're selfish a drunk. Why would I say you were the father... REALLY.. I know my daughter deserves better than you for a father. You feel like a man for calling every week for 30 seconds to ask "How is me and my business"

I know I can only be angry with myself for continuing that relationship after he clearly showed me who he was on so many times... I think about every sign I chose to overlook because I thought "he loved me" Everytime over that 4 year period when things got tough he always left me to pick up the peices and came back when things got easier. It was foolish of me to even think he'd do differently with this situation... it ws foolish to believe he'd be the man he promised he would be. I'm tired of dealing with him already and my lo is only 10weeks.

Should I continue to answer the phone with fob calls?
I keep answering the phone in hopes that one day he'll choose to say " I want to see her" " Let's go half and get this over with" but not once since she's been here. He doesn't even acknowledge HER! AND I"M SUPPOSE TO BE ALL MOIST IN THE UNDERWEAR CAUSE YOU CALLED!

If he knows he can't be her father.. he should get the test done and sign his rights away. I'd seriously entertain the thought of helping him do that...

 

[daveww]

i think you should still take his calls and do your best to keep him up to date with things , then at least you can be at peace in your own mind that you have continued to be mature and do your best. if he is not going to step up and be the father he should be then thats his choice and only he can change that , you just keep being a good mother and be proud of yourself

 

[babydue2011]

oh wow... he sounds like a "boy" not a man to me. gooodness i am sorry to hear you are going through this. i would ignore his calls especially if he doesnt acknowledge her! as you saw from the 4 yr relationship of him not changing he will not change now. only thing he may do is come in when its easy with the LO then ran away when it gets hard which will only hurt LO in the end. hope all works out

 

[dustbunny]

Everyone has a moment in time they look back and think they will silly for believing the lines they were being told [relationship related or not] but you were never silly... you were in the process of learning. He has to at some point step up the mark and decide for himself to be included, although he phones it is of no gain other than to piss you off with his immature ways. You have included him thus far and now I would back off, nothing makes people ponder more than silence. In a couple weeks or whatever he might leave a voice message saying how much of a dick he has been and that he wants to be involved... and then you can move on from it there. But to keep answering, imo, is causing you more grief than anything... and thus stress. Stress is not good for anyone involved.
You have done all you can and there is no shame in not picking up his calls. I'd leave it for a while, clear the air at least on your side.

 

[jaytee146]

I'm trying my best to be civil... I think about not answering and I think about my daughter wondering why when she gets older wouldn't I have been more mature. I almost feel like by not answering that'll be the time when he really decides to try

but I'm slowly realizing that if trying and being there is in his heart that there's nothing that can keep him from that.

 

[daveww]

I'm trying my best to be civil... I think about not answering and I think about my daughter wondering why when she gets older wouldn't I have been more mature. I almost feel like by not answering that'll be the time when he really decides to try

but I'm slowly realizing that if trying and being there is in his heart that there's nothing that can keep him from that.

your so right thier , nothing should keep him from his child and it should be man enough to be a parent , but i would seriously say just keep on doing what your doing , cos it seems as tho your being very responseable and a good example as a mother.

 

[dustbunny]

I'm trying my best to be civil... I think about not answering and I think about my daughter wondering why when she gets older wouldn't I have been more mature. I almost feel like by not answering that'll be the time when he really decides to try

but I'm slowly realizing that if trying and being there is in his heart that there's nothing that can keep him from that.

It is not immature to say you have had enough of a situation and to leave it be for the mean time. His actions are the immature ones and one day your daughter will be wondering why he was the dick, not you.

If a guy... or anyone... wants to be there and be heard they will move heaven and earth to stay involved and won't take no for an answer.

 

[Kacie]

He's referring to her as 'business' or 'it'?? sorry but I would hang up there and then as it shows how little he cares. It must hurt to hear her referred to like that and she doesn't deserve that disrespect. I'd also ignore his calls.. if he did have a change of heart he can contact you with voicemail, email or something to let you know... these random phonecalls seem a pointless waste of time designed just to remind you that he still exists rather than trying to be a father.

xxxxxxx

 

[SilasLove]

^^wss