Ugh! What should I do?

[Hippiemomlife]

My bf's side of the family are all heavy smokers (my bf is as well, but trying to quit). His family is very aware that I do not want to be around smoke as I have asthma already and it's just unhealthy in general and I don't want to subject myself to it. Anyway, they have always ignored my pleas to not smoke around me, but I thought once they found out I was pregnant they would have a little more respect for their future grandchild (as well as me). However, right after I told them I was pregnant, they pulled out their cigarettes and started smoking... I don't know what to do. I feel so disrespected, but it's my bf's family and I just don't understand why they have no respect for me...

 

[Yo_Yo]

If they smoke, I'd get up and leave. The fact they know your pregnant, but still smoke around you is plain rude.
I'd also make it clear you don't want smoking around your baby when he/she arrives.

 

[DolceBella]

That's a tough one, since it's bf family, but I would stick to your guns on this. The dangers of second hand smoke are well known. When they go to light up, cut them off and say "there's no smoking around the baby, while it's still inside or out." If they do it anyway, say "that's inconsiderate of you, and I'll be leaving now" Don't just get up quietly and leave, say something.

 

[Shakeitout]

Absolutely stick to your guns. That's so disrespectful!!

Grrrr... This really annoys me :z

 

[Reidfidleir]

Third hand smoke (leftover that you can smell on clothes and in a car etc) has also proven to be carcinogenic now. I wouldn't tolerate this at all.

 

[ab75]

That's a tough one, since it's bf family, but I would stick to your guns on this. The dangers of second hand smoke are well known. When they go to light up, cut them off and say "there's no smoking around the baby, while it's still inside or out." If they do it anyway, say "that's inconsiderate of you, and I'll be leaving now" Don't just get up quietly and leave, say something.

I agree completely with DB, I hate the smell of cigarette smoke and wouldn't put my children through that xx

 

[mel28nicole]

I still have this issue with DH's family. I've sadly given up. MIL is the type that likes to "hot box" it in the car, even with my in there. I can't stand it. She'll start feeling bad when she doesn't see the baby as much as she wants to. They smoke in the house, and yes she says she won't smoke around the baby but I'm not chancing it til she proves it to me that EVERYONE will smoke outside, not just smoke upstairs and have baby downstairs. DH plans on quitting, he has been cutting back but I really hope he will quit.

 

[LadyHutch]

I'd throw up on them and tell them the smoking makes you ill. Then I'd tell them that you will not have smoking in your home...

I was a heavy smoker for YEARS. I even struggled to quit with DS 1. I've since quit. But before I did, I at least smoked outside...even in the rain or freezing cold.

Put an ashtray and chair outside and usher them to it. Explain they have a right to smoke, but you have a right to clean air in your home. Put your foot down firmly and tell BF to be an example.

Get BF a e-cigarette. That is how I quit. They are great.

 

[Pix]

That's a tough one, since it's bf family, but I would stick to your guns on this. The dangers of second hand smoke are well known. When they go to light up, cut them off and say "there's no smoking around the baby, while it's still inside or out." If they do it anyway, say "that's inconsiderate of you, and I'll be leaving now" Don't just get up quietly and leave, say something.

This. This right here.

Stick to yourself. I didn't for so many years because I too smoked. So I felt as though it was hypocritical of me to say anything. But then I got really sick and literally couldn't be around it. Sadly I told my parents if there was SMOKIN in the house anymore me and the kids would not be coming over. At all anymore. That made my dad pretty upset and he went ballistic on all who did so. Was the best decision of my life finally sticking up for myself an my kids. They still smoke outside and I can't force them to move to another area but I at least ask to keep the smoke away from me.

I'd do the same if it were my in laws. My babies come first. Don't be afraid to be a bear!!!

 

[pLadyBug]

I second everyone's opinion. Stick with your beliefs and enforce them. I think you should also tell your bf that you feel disrespected by it. If you already have health issues which smoking can make worse it is no longer rude. They flat out don't care. Unless you live with them, I'd tell all of them they are not to come around unless they take their smoking elsewhere. Your bf should understand. Asthma can be inherited and smoking alone can cause asthma in children. I wouldn't risk it. Do what's right and healthy for you and your baby.

 

[harlantr1]

I would say if you are at their homes, you get up and leave when they light up (especially since you have asked them repeatedly not to do it) or not go over there at all. I know that's easier said than done, but the health of your child is the most important thing in the world right?

If they come to your home and try to light up around you, you either ask them to go somewhere where you cannot see it or smell it, nor can it harm your child, or you don't invite them over in the first place. I know what I'm saying is harsh, but in the end, no matter who the person is, they will not present harm to my growing baby in any shape or form...(but maybe I'm just a b*tch)