Uncooperative 7yr old

[LaughOutLoud]

The only thing she does is talk, talk, talk yet can't seem to comprehend consequence of action, or rather lack off.

I have 2 younger ones An so I can't devote ALL my time to just her but I still try An do so much for her but she doesn't take any responsibility for herself. I expect her to eat her food- unless it's pudding she always plays with her food.
So I don't give her pudding. I have to constantly tell her to hurry (to move on with the rest of the day). I ask her what I can cook the following day so that she can enjoy the food but she is still uninterested. We try to ignore her attitude with food but whatever I do she nibbles a few bites and sits there for ages!!! This means I struggle with my time because she needs so much time in doing her mammoth homework and now preparing for her SATS as her school teacher has disappeared (long story).

She goes for martial arts and she needs practice at home with online videos. She wants to do it but she sitting there with her food or milk and just can't seem to move along. I have tried not giving her food but it doesn't bother her. She hardly has any breakfast - we don't even try now because it was just stressing everyone out but if she don't eat she's going to have health problems. I'm so drained now and got so upset at her just now because I'm trying to do her things but she does not even help herself. How much can I push her and my 2 younger ones get neglected in the process.

I'm lost but I feel if I give up on her, she won't get anywhere. Her dad doesn't do these things with her so practice for clubs, homework, school prep comes down to me, but I feel I need her to be a bit responsible. She has a class to go to right now and is still sitting at the dining table (probably with her milk untouched) an the fact that she is late doesn't bother her remotely.

What do I do???

 

[AngelUK]

Maybe she doesn't like the clubs and activities. If she doesn't take an interest, why should you pay for them? Cancel them.
With the food, I would not worry too much, she will not starve herself and will eat when she is hungry and foods stops being an issue. Maybe it has become about power and you do not want to go there! Count down the minutes she has left to eat her meal and when they are up, take away her food and move on to the next thing she needs to do.
But if she is generally lethargic, I might take her to a doctor and see if she has any deficiencies and rule that out first. Maybe she is anaemic?
I hope things will get better soon.

 

[LaughOutLoud]

Maybe she doesn't like the clubs and activities. If she doesn't take an interest, why should you pay for them? Cancel them.
With the food, I would not worry too much, she will not starve herself and will eat when she is hungry and foods stops being an issue. Maybe it has become about power and you do not want to go there! Count down the minutes she has left to eat her meal and when they are up, take away her food and move on to the next thing she needs to do.
But if she is generally lethargic, I might take her to a doctor and see if she has any deficiencies and rule that out first. Maybe she is anaemic?
I hope things will get better soon.

Thanks for your reply. I had a think the next day and realised I was just at fault, if not more, as I was putting too much pressure on eating all the time. I'll take her meals away after a set time and just get on with the day. We had a good chat and cleared it- seems we're both more co-operative now.

 

[caz_hills]

My so nice is the same with food. Regardless of whether it's his favourite food or something new or different he takes ages to eat. He wants to play, cuddle his sister, talk to me, do anything other than eat.

We have tried so many tactics to get him to eat but he is always a slow eater -!; a bad water (sometime soon he doesn't eat much at all). I picked up a leaflet from the health visitor recently and we are trying to follow their advice:

- don't force him to eat or let him know I'm frustrated or annoyed that he won't eat
- give smaller portions
- eat together as a family
- praise when he finishes food
- don't let meal times last longer than 30 minutes

For us meals usually last 45 minutes plus and are us encouraging him (sometimes begging him) to eat.

So we are trying to relax it now and encourage but not beg! The guidance says after 30 minutes to ask them if they want more and if they don't, to take the plate away and don't make a fuss.

It's hard I know as my son is fairly slim but in the healthy weight.