Unexpected pregnancy needing advice!

[megan09]

This is a bit of a difficult situation! I am 18 and just moved 500 miles north to be with my fiance (29) We a both currently unemployed due to us both moving to be together, we are currently living with my partners parents, seeking employment, until last week I discovered I am pregnant, our initial reaction was ecstatic, we went to the doctors, discovering we may be 10 weeks, but we need a scan next week to be 100% sure. After a week, guilt has started to sink in, I am worried I am being selfish having this child and that due to our situation its not fair on a baby? We are both emotionally ready, but not financially, need some advice please as i am so worried! x x

 

[divershona]

first of all congrats, and i see you're in scotland so hi from another scottish bump (i've lived allover the uk so not really a scottish bump although im living in scotland now )

where abouts in scotland are you? (sorry if thats too nosy lol)

Lots of people are in similar situations as you especially when they are younger (like we are), and still manage to bring up a baby, yeah okay its hard but i'm sure you'll manage, and im sure there is alot of help that is available to you if you need it.

good luck and wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months

 

[megan09]

first of all congrats, and i see you're in scotland so hi from another scottish bump (i've lived allover the uk so not really a scottish bump although im living in scotland now )

where abouts in scotland are you? (sorry if thats too nosy lol)

Lots of people are in similar situations as you especially when they are younger (like we are), and still manage to bring up a baby, yeah okay its hard but i'm sure you'll manage, and im sure there is alot of help that is available to you if you need it.

good luck and wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months

Well I moved from essex to stirling, so Its even harder not being with my family and stuff!
I have been here for two months trying to get a job, but no where is interested, I finished college and got 3 distinctions, but no job! stress!!

 

[amylou1992]

aww hun, i understand how you feel, i got preg at 17 me and my partner was both un-employed and i admit we did struggle but it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

maybe once you have found out how far gone you are, and have seen a midwife, speak to your local council and see about getting your own place and getting sorted out. it took me and my partner to get sorted financialy but we managed it, you just have to hang in there.

 

[rainbows_x]

Congratulations on your pregnancy hun.

I too have been unemplyed all through my pregnancy (quit literally just before I got my BFP!) If I had known I wouldn't of, but hey!

OH works, but not earning a brilliant amount, I don't earn any money at all, but we still manage.

Try going to your local job centre & council, once you know exactly how far along you are, I'm sure they would help you.

I know it probably all seems really overwhelming right now, but things will work out
x

 

[megan09]

aww hun, i understand how you feel, i got preg at 17 me and my partner was both un-employed and i admit we did struggle but it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

maybe once you have found out how far gone you are, and have seen a midwife, speak to your local council and see about getting your own place and getting sorted out. it took me and my partner to get sorted financialy but we managed it, you just have to hang in there.

We already have our names on the council list, but before we found out about being pregnant, my partner has job interview monday hopefully that will go well, be one less thing to worry about!

 

[amylou1992]

aww hun, i understand how you feel, i got preg at 17 me and my partner was both un-employed and i admit we did struggle but it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

maybe once you have found out how far gone you are, and have seen a midwife, speak to your local council and see about getting your own place and getting sorted out. it took me and my partner to get sorted financialy but we managed it, you just have to hang in there.

We already have our names on the council list, but before we found out about being pregnant, my partner has job interview monday hopefully that will go well, be one less thing to worry about!

when you get your notes from the midwife with the EDD (estimated due date) go to council and get them to add that to your housing claim, the sooner you get it done then the betta. im in a 1 bed flat and have been waiting for a house for over a year. my LO is now 5 months old. the houseing list is that long we don't think we are going to get moved any time soon.

 

[StarBound]

Hello hun

Dont be too worried ! The job market is tough but either way you will manage and be ok theres lots of help for you out there.
First things first make sure you continue looking for work and so does your partner - even if its working part time as a waitress or something at least its money that helps . Also if you work less than 16 hours a week it doesnt effect jobseekers.
Theres a 190 health in pregnancy grant that you get around 25 weeks which will be a great help to you buying things for baby , theres also surestart maternity grant which is 500. And health vouchers which you can claim for 3.20 a week to buy milk/veg/fruit etc.
Take advantage of all the help you can would be my advice.

My partner works full time and i dont work - all i can say is make sure if you dont go to work that you find something to keep you entertained. I am doing a open university course - which as i have no income i can do for free.

Other than that just keep safe and well Dont feel selfish , theres lots of jobs about just keep trying

 

[megan09]

aww hun, i understand how you feel, i got preg at 17 me and my partner was both un-employed and i admit we did struggle but it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

maybe once you have found out how far gone you are, and have seen a midwife, speak to your local council and see about getting your own place and getting sorted out. it took me and my partner to get sorted financialy but we managed it, you just have to hang in there.

We already have our names on the council list, but before we found out about being pregnant, my partner has job interview monday hopefully that will go well, be one less thing to worry about!

when you get your notes from the midwife with the EDD (estimated due date) go to council and get them to add that to your housing claim, the sooner you get it done then the betta. im in a 1 bed flat and have been waiting for a house for over a year. my LO is now 5 months old. the houseing list is that long we don't think we are going to get moved any time soon.

Thats a big worry, what if once the baby is born and we still have not been housed? I don't think my partners parents would want a baby keeping them awake all night....

 

[megan09]

Hello hun

Dont be too worried ! The job market is tough but either way you will manage and be ok theres lots of help for you out there.
First things first make sure you continue looking for work and so does your partner - even if its working part time as a waitress or something at least its money that helps . Also if you work less than 16 hours a week it doesnt effect jobseekers.
Theres a 190 health in pregnancy grant that you get around 25 weeks which will be a great help to you buying things for baby , theres also surestart maternity grant which is 500. And health vouchers which you can claim for 3.20 a week to buy milk/veg/fruit etc.
Take advantage of all the help you can would be my advice.

My partner works full time and i dont work - all i can say is make sure if you dont go to work that you find something to keep you entertained. I am doing a open university course - which as i have no income i can do for free.

Other than that just keep safe and well Dont feel selfish , theres lots of jobs about just keep trying

I didn't realise that much help was available! thanks for informing me! I was considering doing a open university course to keep my busy I go insane having nothing to do, there is only so much cleaning and eating a girl can do!!

 

[amylou1992]

aww hun, i understand how you feel, i got preg at 17 me and my partner was both un-employed and i admit we did struggle but it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

maybe once you have found out how far gone you are, and have seen a midwife, speak to your local council and see about getting your own place and getting sorted out. it took me and my partner to get sorted financialy but we managed it, you just have to hang in there.

We already have our names on the council list, but before we found out about being pregnant, my partner has job interview monday hopefully that will go well, be one less thing to worry about!

when you get your notes from the midwife with the EDD (estimated due date) go to council and get them to add that to your housing claim, the sooner you get it done then the betta. im in a 1 bed flat and have been waiting for a house for over a year. my LO is now 5 months old. the houseing list is that long we don't think we are going to get moved any time soon.

Thats a big worry, what if once the baby is born and we still have not been housed? I don't think my partners parents would want a baby keeping them awake all night....

well simply tell them where you are staying now would not be suitable as its overcramped already, even if they only offer you a one bed flat, take it! anything is better than been stuck in a mother and baby hostal. but you don't know til you try, they may even have some 2 bed houses come up before LO gets here, you may be lucky and get moved quick. unforunatly for me my housin association are twats and keep messing us about

but good luck for what ever you do decid to do, and as person said before, take all the help you can get and don't feel guilty! its what they are there 4