Unexpected Teen Pregnancy Help!

[letitbex]

I'm 18 years old. I'm a senior in High School at a career school. I very recently found out that I'm pregnant by possibly a couple months. I haven't told anybody besides my boyfriend and my best friend who has been down this road before but didn't keep her kid. I'm going to school for Graphic Arts. It's been my passion ever since I could write. My boyfriend is 21 years old. He has his GED and is going too college next spring or summer for Digital Design. I had my whole future planned out but now I'm completely stuck. Because I go too a career school, when we graduate, we get a $3000 certificate to a community college to study in the field we studied at our career school. The good thing about the community college is that it's literally 5 minutes away from where I live. After 2 years in Community College, I wanted to go too an actual college with my boyfriend to study business and management to someday open my own business or manage one. As of now, I don't know if I can. My mother was a teen parent as well but I'm still scared to tell her. Mostly because she has a big mouth and my dad told me and my sister that if we ever got pregnant, he'd kick us out of the house. I have no job, no car, no money. Nothing. And neither does my boyfriend. His parents would most likely end up kicking him out of the house as well.

I'm stuck and need some advice on every option I have. I know what I'm getting myself into with every option but I'm still stuck on what to do.. My boyfriend and I have been looking up every option we have on the internet. I would love it if I could get some advice from a teen parent or a parent who has gone through something remotely similar.

Are you happy with your decision? Was it scary? Is it harder than people think? How did you react when you found out? What's your future or present life like now? How did your parents react? (I haven't told my parents yet.) ect.

I'm absolutely terrified. I'm the type of girl you would never expect to get pregnant in high school. Too everyone, I'm the shy, quiet, innocent type. The person in school everyone would be shocked to see with a baby belly or a child in high school. I know if you have sex, innocent or not, anything's possible. I'm scared and have no idea what to do.
Please help.

 

[lil lovey]

Hi:wave: I also didn't expect to get pregnant while being in high school. I was really shocked but yet indenail. My mother was also a teen mom but when I told her I was pregnant she was disappointed but now she's very excited super excited as il be due for a c section in 3 days..you should tell your mom as soon as possible. Yeah she will be disappointed but she'll be very supportive. Getting pregnant was very scary as people treated me differently. Try to relax hun. Good luck

 

[Kathleen1994]

Hello i am Kathleen, i am 18 years old , pregnant with my first due may 8th
Welcome to BnB

Are you happy with your decision?
Yes i am cause i had miscarriages and i am with the right guy

Was it scary?
Abit but not really

Is it harder than people think?
hmm i don't quite understand

How did you react when you found out?
lol just surprised cause it was 1 day before i was due for my period
and i did not think i would be pregnant

What's your future or present life like now?
staying at home all day, but thinking on going back to school
once baby is here i am staying a good 2 years with it

How did your parents react?
i did not want to tell my parents.. and i regret it , they knew about it i recently just told the whole family.. but they are happy and so are my brothers and sisters

 

[Emma11511]

I'm Emma, just turned 19 and I have a 4 month old little boy.

Are you happy with your decision?
Never had to make one, we were TTC for 6 months.

Was it scary?
Having a baby is always scary, regardless of age, career, finance etc. But I was just happy!

Is it harder than people think?
I find it a lot easier than people say.

How did you react when you found out?
I screamed at my OH, thought I was seeing things Then we just burst into tears; we were so, so happy.

What's your future or present life like now?
Just take each day as it comes. I breastfeed, so I do all the feeding myself. We try and get out every day, even just to pop to the shops, go for a walk etc. I'm going to start volunteering after New Year, then work as a carer as soon as I can face leaving Julian. I'm going back to college/uni to qualify as a midwife once Julian starts school. And hopefully TTC again in 3-5 years.

How did your parents react?
I lived with my OH anyway, so noone could really say much. They were fine though. OHs parents were happy. He's older, so it wasn't an issue. My mum and dad have been nothing but supportive, never had a bad word to say. Even helped kit out our new house last month. They're totally smitten with their first grandchild!

 

[lizmageeful]

Hello, I'm Lizzie, im 16 and 22 weeks pregnant with my first, a boy. I was also on the quieter side, and NOBODY thought I would be the one to get pregnant in high school.

Are you happy with your decision?
So far, I really am. I'm keeping the baby, not giving him up for adoption, and already he is my world. He has me and OH wrapped around his finger already!

Was it scary?
I think its always scary no matter what situation people are in. Becoming a parent for the first time is always going to drastically change your life, and you have no idea what to expect except what others have told you. So as of right now, yeah, still pretty scary .

Is it harder than people think?
I feel like the hardest part is the fact that I've lost quite a few of friends and people dont really know how to react. You get a lot of nasty looks, but i keep going cause in the end it will all be worth it when I have Dash in my arms

How did you react when you found out?
I was freaking out tbh. OH was there, and we just looked at the test for a few minutes and werent quite sure what to do, then i started pacing and freaking out and panicing. OH was strangely calm about the whole thing, and he really kept me grounded.

What's your future or present life like now?
I'm still planning on going to college one way or another. Im currently still attending high school, and I plan to finish high school either in school or by getting my GED. I have a part time job. I might not get to party in college like I always thought I would, but that doesnt matter because all that really matters to me now is Dash.

How did your parents react?
My parents actually took the news really well. Of course they were a little disappointed in me, but they came around to the fact that there was no changing it now. My OH's family didn't take it so well, and he is currently living with me and my family.

 

[jackiemullins]

Hello, I'm Jackie, I am 16 and 24 weeks pregnant. Everyone was amazed when they found out I was pregnant at school, because I am also the innocent, quiet type.

Are you happy with your decision?
Oh my gosh. I really am! I was so scared at first, but going through pregnancy is great. Just think you are growing a human being! It has its own heartbeat and life! And it is inside you! It's a scary thought too, but it is such a wonderful thing. You'll be so excited when you buy things and plan.

Was it scary?
It is scary for anyone and everyone. It was really scary thought at first, but I felt so happy about it only after a week of finding out.

Is it harder than people think?
Pregnancy is a lot easier than I expected, but it is different for everyone. You will lose friends, but take it as you are finding out who your true friends are.

How did you react when you found out?
I was just at lost of words. I was scared, but I was also just amazed. After a while though, it really just sank in, and I felt fine.

What's your future or present life like now?
I am in my second year of high school, and I am still making straight A's. I will be homebound (teacher brings you your work) my due date week and the rest of the school year. I will be graduating my first semester of my senior year as I will have enough credits, and then I will going on to college then to medical school.

How did your parents react?
They took it wonderfully. They were disappointed at first, but they have been very excited. I regret keeping it from them so long. I was scared I'd be kicked out of the house too, because my dad had kicked me out before for having sex. But my dad was like,"Well, what done is done, so now let's just get through this." It has been great.

 

[jozylynn896]

My name is Kristina, I'm 16 and 24 weeks pregnant : )

Are you happy with your decision?
I'm gonna be completely honest. When I found out that I was pregnant, I made an appointment with an abortion clinic here in Chicago. The next day they called me. I told them that they had the wrong number.. I got so scared and I felt my stomach and cried and cried and cried and thought "OMFG I can't hurt my baby!" Then I went into the doctors and they put this weird shit on my stomach and I heard loud, fast thuds. I literally did not know what it was! The doctor goes "Wow the fetus has a verrrryyy strong heartbeat!" And I started crying! I am so happy I decided to keep him! And when I found out that I washaving a boy! Omg! I died!

Was it scary?
Its terrifying. Being pregnant. Knowing there's a little person in you, depending on you. As teenagers the only thing we have to worry about is us! What we're gonna do, how to act for ourselves, taking care of us. And now what you have to think is "Where will WE live what school will he go to, etc.."
You're not just thinking of you any more. You have to think for someone else, you're responsible for someone elses life.
But honestly, it is already worth it for me. He's so beautiful, and I can't wait to struggle.
Is it harder than people think?
Honestly when I found out that I was pregnant, the farthest thing from my mind was having a high-risk pregnancy. When I was like 19 weeks, I found out that I had blood clots in my lungs that could potentially kill me.
When I was admitted to the hospital emergency room, I was crying. Before I would only be thinking "omg I'm gonna die!" But all I could think was "God please do not take my son from me." I thought I was having a miscarriage. I couldn't breathe and I almost fainted. My brain was not getting enough oxygen. I figured, then he must not be getting enough either! I was so scared for him.
How did you react when you found out?
When I found I was scared because I was going to have an abortion.
Once I decided to keep him, I was very happy.
What's your future or present life like now?
Waaaay different then before. I dropped out of school, but to be completely honest, I would have any way. I always knew I would.
How did your parents react?
My parents didn't give a shit. My dad was having a kid, and he lives in Indiana and I live in Chicago. My mom was exstatic. Lol. Its like she WANTED me to get pregnant -__-

 

[iphonebaby]

Hello =]

I am 20 and 18 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. I was in a very similar boat as you. I was terrified about telling my parents because I REALLY thought they were going to push AB on me...I was so scared and upset because I had my whole life planned out and I knew my boyfriend would flip when I told him. I worried, and worried, and worried for 3 months until I started to show and decided I had to tell them. And honestly, my parents took it SO much better than I thought. They were very supportive and said they were going to do what they could to help me. Granted, I don't live at home anymore, but still. I expected the worst, but got the best =] As for school, you can do online classes. Yeah, you won't get the college experience, but it is so worth it girl! I just found out I am having a baby girl last week, and I have to say it was the best day of my life. Just seeing her little face smile on the screen, it made EVERYTHING worth it. Even if my parents hadn't been supportive, I still would have been just as happy that day. This baby is a blessing, don't take that for granted. Some of the women on this website have been trying to get pregnant for YEARS. We were lucky enough to have a baby unexpectedly bestowed upon us =] It doesn't seem that way at first, but once you see your baby on a sonogram, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.

 

[motherearth23]

Hi there, I'm Emily. I'm 19 (20 in March), and 10 1/2 weeks pregnant. I've had one miscarriage before, but both pregnancies have been completely different! Like you said in your post, I am also the type of girl no one would picture having a baby. I was always on top of being on birth control and being careful. When I met my boyfriend, I just knew he was the one for me and I guess we got to be less careful. I also knew he was the one I wanted children with. So in that aspect, being a young mom won't be hard on me because I know he will stick by my side.

Are you happy with your decision?
I pretty much knew when I got pregnant the second time that I was going to parent as long as I didn't miscarry. But the first time I got pregnant, I researched all my options, but also decided to keep the baby and parent.
Was it scary?
EXTREMELY!! I kept my pregnancy a secret both times, and this time has been a lot harder because I'm really excited and I've also had a TON of nausea starting at 6 weeks. It's mostly gone now, but for awhile it was rough to go to work and school.
Is it harder than people think?
Besides the nausea and stuff, it's been pretty easy to be pregnant. I've had to pee a lot in the middle of the night and during my work hours. But I bet it gets harder when your tummy starts to get in the way :S
How did you react when you found out?
I was thrilled. I was dreading the "due date" of my baby that miscarried, and I found out I was pregnant again and it was so unexpected that I feel like it's my other baby come back to be with me. Kinda lame, I know, but I already have such a strong connection to my baby. And this one is perfectly healthy this time.
What's your future or present life like now?
I am continuing community college in the spring, and plan on working part time. My boyfriend hasn't worked since September, and definitely has some depression and other stuff he is dealing with. He says he wants to support me so badly, so I have faith that he will find a good job so that we can keep living on our own. But it will be really hard, and I am prepared to struggle a lot.
How did your parents react?
Well, I have kept it a secret up until tonight. My mom accidentally found out and she was furious. She said horrible things and is insisting that I get an abortion. That is why I was waiting until after my first trimester to tell her because then it wouldnt even be an option for her to talk about. If you think your mother will react the same way, you may want to consider waiting, or tell a different family member that will be more supportive. Because Im a wreck right now, and my relationship with my mother has shattered before my eyes.

But good luck girly, you will know in your heart what you want to do! The road ahead will be challenging but there are plenty of young mamas who have succeeded!

 

[meggie1015]

Have you considered adoption?

I would love to discuss that option with you. You can still watch your baby grow, but also be abke yo finish your life goals. Hope to hear from you.

 

[littlemommy]

Hi I'm Desiree, I'm 19, and have a 5month old daughter named Aubrii! Welcome and congrats!

Are you happy with your decision? Yes I am. Every morning I get to wake up, and look at this beautiful face. She iis my entire world

Was it scary?
Finding out scared me a little. But me and my OH decided we were going to love our baby no matter what! The thought of being a first time teen mom scared me while I was pregnant. But as soon as I held her, nothing else mattered.

Is it harder than people think?
Pregnancy?-some people think its hard some don't. Its a completely different experience for everyone. Being a teen mom?- yes and no. Yess with a baby its hard to get everything done, sometimes I forgot to shower because I had to get her situated and then clean and by the time I was done just wanted to sleep. BUT your mother instincts will come into play and it will actually suprise you how much you already know about being a mommy

How did you react when you found out?
I went to the doctors after a week of being really sick. They said they would do a test just in case but I was positive I wasn't. They came back in and told me I was pregnant! Honestly I cried for the first day, me and OH thought of what to do, then we were both just excited to see baby on the ultrasound and make sure she was okay

What's your future or present life like now?
I'm a stay at home mom. My OH works fulltime to support me and LO. He's my bestfriend and love of my life. I love it! I clean the house, I cook, and I take care of baby. I get to watch every moment of my daughter growing its hard at times, frustrating, and exhausting, but its the best feeling of your life at the same time.

How did your parents react?
We waited until our first ultrasound to tell our parents. I went to my moms with OH, when she went into her room for something I followed her and left OH in the livingroom. I told her I had something to show her and her exact words after she saw the picture were "aww mimis little limabean" haha she was happy from the start!
OHs parents were different. We lived with his dad at the time and when we told him he yelled at me and told me I had to leave. He then told me the only way I could stay is if I had an A. After about a week(I was still living with him and OH) he came around. He even threw me his own little babyshower now he loves my daughter so much! We live about 15mins away from him and he visits her at least 3times a week! Haha
OHs mom just didn't talk to us for a little bit everytime we visited. And she cried. But she's been so much support for me and loves my daughter to death!

 

[tiffanie79]

I am Tiffanie, I am 33 however I was a teen mom. I had my first child when I was 17. She is now a teenager herself.

It doesn't matter how my parents or anyone elses parents reacted because every ones family dynamic is different, and not all parents are supportive. I was like you, I was shy, got good grade, didn't drink or do drugs. I was a good kid, but I still ended up pregnant. I was terrified to tell my parents, I thought because I had the "no sex until marriage" talk a zillion times and was sent to private school they would be very mad. My parents were not angry with me, disappointed at first but supported me 100%. My life has turned out wonderfully, I have 3 children and 1 more on the way and am married to the man who got me pregnant at 17 for 14 years now. It won't work out that way for everyone, again every situation is different.

You have a few options, no matter which you choose it will impact your life in some way.

If you choose to keep your child, life will change dramatically. You will have a person that depends on you for everything and your dreams while still attainable will just take a little more effort to achieve.

If you choose adoption, you have the choice of an open or closed adoption. There are many families who can not conceive that would love nothing more than a child to call their own.

Of course depending on how far a long you are there is abortion, which I personally don't agree with but everyone is different.

No matter what you choose, it will have an impact on your life weather it be emotional or otherwise. This is a decision only YOU can make. I have told my daughters (I have 2) that I would be angry if they got pregnant young like I did. They should learn from me. However I wouldn't be angry, I would be disappointed but also support them in whatever they decided. You need to tell your parents what is going on so they can help guide you. Don't try to hide it because they will find out eventually and you do not want them to hear it from someone else.

Good luck honey, I hope you tell your parents very soon.

 

[justhoping]

I do not know if you are aware of this, and btw I commend you for being in school and wanting to stay . If you talk to your school councilor or the equivalent they can help you figure out how to stay in school and some programs that maybe available to you now and that may help you keep your dream of staying in school and exactly how to do it........

 

[haydenmummy]

Heyy I have 2 kids one hu is 3 an half and another hu is 5 weeks old I had my first at 16 and second at 19 and I would never change it for the wrld my kids are my life they are the air I breath every second of the day I was so scared with both of them but there was no way I was not going thru with it xx

I went to collage when my son was a year and done my gcse's then kept in collage doing bussiness and accountancy till I was 5 months and I'm going back this september when my son starts school and my daughter will be 10 months I will do 2 days a week 9 till 2 and I will have childcare all sorted xx hope all goes well for youu babess xxx

 

[Abigail8673]

Im Sam, I'm 19 and 4 months along

Are you happy with your decision? Yes I am married (we waited for each other too) and have post secondary

How did you react when you found out? Excited when we got married we both wanted to wait to try for a baby but when we changed our minds it all became real when we found out we are insanely happy and excited we jumped up and down lol!!

Was it scary? yes you have to give up everything for you:your body, time , energy, etc and focus on a baby

Is it harder than people think? I am married, have a house, my husband makes a secure and good income, we even have a dog and its SO hard. I got so sick from 5 to 14 weeks I HAD to quit my job i threw up about 20 times a day, I thought it would be easier then this but the babys not even here and i have to sacrifice everything

What's your future or present life like now? Days are long, and busy, I am still sick and exhausted whent he baby comes things will be harder to juggle

How did your parents react? My parents are thrilled, they love babys my sister is married with four and another sister is trying for a baby. the more the merrier in their eyes