University & being a teen mum?

[beaniebopps]

I've been with my boyfriend for ages now, we've been living together over a year and we've been engaged for 4 months now. In September I'm planning on going to University of Sheffield to study a four year long masters degree. We really want to have a baby.

I'm worried everyone will think its stupid to plan a baby during university but I've thought alot about it and I think I can make it work. If I don't have a baby during uni I'll have to wait another 4 years at least and that to me seems too long.

The university has a nursery for 6 months and up, and my fiance will be with me for support. I really want to try and make it work, having a baby and finishing my degree. Has anyone else balanced uni and being a mum, and what were their experiences?

 

[x-amy-x]

If you are planning on getting pregnant whilst your in uni. I would consider taking a year out if I were you. I can't imagine going back straight away. I'm dreading going back to work and ive been off for 9 months. It CAN be done

xx

 

[bootyb]

Hiya hun i was planning on goin to uni sept 2009 as im doin my last yr @ college.... the thing is im pregnant now but i still wanna go to uni, i have had to defer it to 2010 sept as i i dunno how things will turn out wen i have the baby. But im hopeful wit suppor t frm my family i will make it work. It gonna be hard as its hard already being at full-time college nd being pregnant. But im goin to strive to make it work. I wouldnt advise u having a baby before uni but if it happens then it does... nd if u think u can manage wit the support then great. Jes know its not easy at all for anyone. But if thats what u want then go for it hun nd good luck hope it goes well for you.

 

[nikky0907]

I go to university and have a 4 month old (unplanned pregnancy).I'm doing this whole year until September from home though...

Honestly I would recommend waiting until you finish. Thats my recommendation based on my experience. It's very hard to do schoolwork and taking care of an infant, you can't imagine how hard. My grades were picture perfect before baby and now I just barely pass my courses.
Going to uni is stressful on itself, having a baby-also stressful. It's better not combining these two if you don't have to...

You are young, it's only 3-4 years, enjoy your time with your finacee,plan a wedding, have some couple of time with him. It all ends too soon so take the best of it..

 

[Pyrrhic]

Why the rush to have a baby during uni? You have plenty of time. I would decide one or the other, as a child is very time consuming and so is a degree. It can work, but if you have the option I would do one first, then the other. You'll have enough on your plate to deal with.

As you're engaged, what's wrong with waiting until you're finished your degree, are probably married by then, have a good job (from the degree) which will then cover you for maternity pay (up to 90% of your salary).

Having a child is very time consuming, and financially difficult. If I were in your position, I would want to give my child the best start in life by waiting until I was settled in my life, and had a good paying job and a stable relationship with my OH.

 

[beaniebopps]

Thanks

I sortoff feel that if I take a year out then I'm less likely to go to uni, and my parents will feel I'm letting my dreams go. I've already accepter my offer of place for '09.

I figure if I stop the pill now, and use condoms till I get to uni, then if I hopefully concieve quickly I would be due in July - after my exams so I will have 3 months off to get to know my new baby and find somewhere suitable to live!

 

[nikky0907]

Thanks

I sortoff feel that if I take a year out then I'm less likely to go to uni, and my parents will feel I'm letting my dreams go. I've already accepter my offer of place for '09.

I figure if I stop the pill now, and use condoms till I get to uni, then if I hopefully concieve quickly I would be due in July - after my exams so I will have 3 months off to get to know my new baby and find somewhere suitable to live!

But why do you want it to go like that?

Why not finish your degree, find yourself a great job in your chosen profession, find somewhere great to live and then have a baby?
I think thats a nice,easy road to take.

It's gonna be emotionally and physically exhausting to have a 2-3 month old, find a place to live and move and then rush back to uni.

 

[x-amy-x]

Personally, if i were you. I'd pick one or the other. Having a baby really is life changing. You might do year 1 of your course, have a baby and then decide you don't want to go anymore. Also, making babies and having babies nearly always don't go to plan.

xx

 

[Pyrrhic]

If the nursery is 6 months and up, what are you planning to do with the baby before then?

What if you don't conceive right away as planned? (Most people don't)

If you're that desperate, then do a 3 year bachelors instead of a 4 year masters, and top up later in life.

IMO I think if you have the choice you should wait. Otherwise it's quite a selfish decision to have a child right now because you want one. I will probably get shot down for saying that, but from having a child myself I know how hard it is, and the more secure in yourself you can be then the better for you and your child.

 

[asacia]

It could work, assuming everything went well. What if you have a difficult pregnancy? Although there isn't anything seriously wrong with me, I haven't been able to work at all since I got pregnant. Also, recovery from having a baby is different for all women. What if the baby won't settle at night? Some don't sleep through for years. There are too many variables, and looking at it realistically, its unlikely that it'd be easy.

 

[cupcake]

i study twice a week with my baby, but its not for my undergrad i already finished that and cant imagine doing that with a baby as it was a lot of work and reading and preparation. I was just lucky to have my baby over the summer and they let me take him with to class for the next two months and then I put him in at 6 months to daycare. If you do go to uni i would consider taking a very light course load in the beginning and just taking longer to do the degree if they will allow you to extend your studies. My honest feeling is wait a bit, its going to be quite hard for you to do it with a baby. Good luck whatever you decide.

 

[soup]

i am not a teen but worked for four years in a nursery attached to a university sunning the baby unit, and would say that it can be done but it is hard work! we had loads of uni students bring there children and generally they did really well... if they made i through the first few months, loads dropped out tho! also if this is what your thinking about might be worth looking into what sort of unding you would get for the nursery if any. would it just be for when you are actually in class, in which case who would look after baby while you study? also is that nursery any good?

personally i think i would wait or choose not to go to uni (i did choose not to infact but not cos of having a baby) i think to do justice to either you need to give it more attention than possible doing both.

 

[Drazic<3]

Well, I thought id put my tuppance in, I hope you see it in the constructive manner in which it is intended.

Uni, is bloody hard work. Im in my third year of my undergrad degree and I have to work my arse off to keep up. Its good, dont get me wrong, but you are expected to be doing 40 hours of work a week to keep up with reading ect, and when you have essay deadlines and stuff expect that to spike up even higher.

Im not saying this to put you off uni. Uni, hard as it is, is one of the single most sensible things i ever chose to do with my life. Forgetting my subject, I have learnt so much about myself and so many more skills. Its broadened by horizons as well as widening my opportunities.

I understand the want for a baby, i really and truly do, but im so glad ive waited. 3 years has actually wizzed by, i cant believe im nearly finished! and it will for you too, and when it does you will have better chances and more money for your family.

Good luck hun x

 

[princessttc]

Once ive had my son, i will be going back to uni 9 month later and i already cant imagine how hard it will be.... I really wouldnt have planned it this way, I wouldnt change it for the world now but I cant even imagine juggling so many things in life that usually require full-time dedication... Ive got 2 more years at uni and i already dread leaving him with my mum while i go to do my studies... I want him to have a successfull mum though that followed her dreams and tried her hardest... However I would have rather finished uni and spent the first few years with him or working casually.....

Think it through and make the choice that suits you, as everyone is different...

 

[~curiosity~]

Hey are you sure you couldn't take a gap year if you really want a baby? I'm in uni right now and although I'd love to have a child realistically there is way to much stress from work. If you are planning on being pregnant whilst studying at uni are you sure that the baby wouldn't be harmed by the stress you're under? If its what you want just be careful that you have considered everything first, which it sounds like you are. Good luck though

 

[bootyb]

Hey hun jes spokent to my cousin whu had her first child whilst still at untilll doing post-grad meds... she found it really really hard even tho she had the support of her husbad. But she managed.. thats wot gives me confidence nd encouragement it can be done... But its hard work hun im not really looking forward to it. x

 

[Ann13]

I really think you need to stop for moment and think: although you love the thought of going to school and you love the thought of being a mom, which one is more important to you now? Being a mom is more than a full-time job. University is a full-time job. You don't realize it, sometimes until second year, that it really does require your 100% commitment. If you're going to pay that much money, you might as well make sure it's worth it and give it your all. The same comes to pregnancy and mothering. Do you really want to be worried about the baby and worried about midterms? Believe me, one is enough. I've done both and barely got through and that was one at a time. Really really think this one through and know 4 years goes a lot faster than you think it will and it may be better for you and your baby to wait.

 

[QueenMummyToBe]

I'm currently at University and I'm pregnant (unplanned)
Luckily once LO is here I only have 5 exams to take and then I have finished my course.

I wouldn't recommend anyone to plan on having a baby whilst at Uni, being pregnant is extremely hard on your body and mind, and studying when you feel like rubbish and have a brain of mush is extremely hard!

As others have said I would chose one or the other. It may seem simple enough to do both things but it really isn't.

At least with a lot of Jobs you can leave work at work, with University you have work all day there and all night at home.

 

[Twiglet]

I'm in my final year of uni now and am due in July...this pregnancy was totally unplanned but completing my final year has been exhausting! It's hard as your tired, feel sick, feel hungry etc all the time and then to top it all of you have uni classes, readings and assignments to do as well as exams. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, the only reason I'm carrying on with mine now is that once February is over I only have uni once a week and the rest of the time is focusing on my exams and dissertation. I have the most supportive boyfriend too and even with that I'm still tired.

I'd either choose one or the other or wait till you've finished uni hun.

 

[kirsty x]

i was at uni this year and had to leave due to me being pregnant, you cant time exactly when u get pregnant it could just happen or could take months. i would like to go back to uni but i no how difficult its goin to be. personally if i was going to uni i wouldnt plan on having a baby as uni is difficult enuf with all the work let alone a baby which can be demanding and ull find u wont have alot of time to do anything else, while all ur uni friends are going out doing things uni people do ull have to go home to your child.