AnonymousMoi
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This is a long - honest - straightforward - TMI kinda post. I wanted to share my experience with all you expecting moms - so you kinda know what can happen during labor - and the first few weeks afterwards.
My husband and I are young parents - I'm 21 and he's 26. Kyle is our 1st Baby - EDD of October 1st 2011. He was born at 4:17pm on October 1st 2011 by unplanned C-Section. 9lbs 12.5 oz - 22 inches long.
From the start... before I even knew I wanted kids I knew I wanted to have an all natural - drug free birth. My reasons? 1. Women have been doing this for thousands of years, our bodies are MADE to do this so I knew I had the ability to do it! 2. I didn't like the idea of the drugs circulating through my baby...okay and 3. I was pretty scared of the epidural.
I'd been pretty anxious the last few weeks about my son. I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes (diet controlled) and was worried about the effects on him, as well as I was just plain excited to meet him. For weeks my doctor told me I WASN'T dilating - he hadn't dropped (he was in the -2 station) and my cervix wasn't effacing.
I've tried walking, acupuncture, and finally after debating with my husband (who was scared to go anywhere near me with his thingie because "the baby can tell! I'm going to poke him in the head!"; sex.
Monday (9/26) I started noticing a lot of back pain (it was excruciating pain, like menstal back pain x100. They also say if you have alot of back pain during your period you're more likely to have back labor), by Tuesday (9/27) is became regular and I went into the hospital and they hooked me up... sure enough I was having contractions! YAY! Thursday (9/29) I went back to the hospital as the back labor had increased - they checked my cervix and it was still closed so they had me walk the halls for an hour - after that hour I still hadn't dilated and so I was sent home with an ambien to help me sleep (which... only helped me sleep 1 hour due to the contractions :/ ) I also noticed a lot of clear mucusy - tinged with yellow substance, which I thought was my plug.
Friday (9/30) I noticed a watery substance in the morning but this was the only time I noticed it and it was very little so I let it go thinking it was part of the plug. I cleaned house all day - just dealing with contractions and noticing more of the mucusy substance. After I had to put pads on to help deal with the amount of mucusy substance that was comming out. My husband got home from work and I told him about the substance but I didn't want to run to the hospital again just to be turned away so we stayed home and watched movies.
Finally around midnight or so we decide it's just best to be checked even if we were turned away... so off we go to the hospital. I got checked out -they said there was a trace amount of amniotic fluid so they admitted me. Since my water had "broken/torn" they said if I didn't progress naturally (as I wanted) then it would be best to be induced. They gave me a time limit of 2 hours. As you guessed... I didn't dilate and so they induced me around 3am.
Saturday (10/1/2011) With the pain and the uncomfortablness of being hooked to so many wires (fetal monitor, contraction monitor, fluids, and pitocin IV) I didn't sleep much until they knocked me out with stadol (heaven after weeks of not sleeping.) My doctor came about 10am and checked my progression. During the exam my water actually broke... weird warm gushing feeling... kinda like peeing yourself only way more fluid and uncontrollable! He said I'd only dilated to 4cm after all night of being on pitocin (they say you usually dilate about .5 a cm every hour so I was WAY behind). He also asked how long I'd been noticing the meconium. I was shocked, I had no idea there was any meconium... but baby's heart beat was good so they weren't too worried.
He suggested an epidural since I was in so much pain (I don't remember the meeting at his point due to the pain of contractions, only that after the epi -I was so comfortable and able to rest! I couldn't believe I'd ever doubted the epidural) Doctor said we could still try to see if I progressed and so we waited until 3pm. At 3pm he came back and I'd barely dilated to 5, still wasn't effacing... my waters had been broke for over 30 hours. I wasn't against a c-section (my mom had one for me) and at this point I was more scared of pushing with all the pain I'd experienced than the c-section it's self. So we agreed and off we went.
First of all, it was a pain to get me on to the operating table since I couldn't feel my legs, and once they got me on the anesthesologist (who was so sweet, and talked to me through the whole thing about babies and how happy he was for us) introduced the other numbing drug and strapped my arms down in a "Jesus" pose (I didn't even notice I was so out of it, and excited to being so close to meeting my little nudger). After they had me all set up my husband was allowed to come and sit by my head.
I didn't feel them cutting - obviously, only a tugging pressure and weird popping as they got through each layer. When they got to him it was a weirder, harder pulling sensation (not painful, just weird.) My doctor actually kinda paused and said "hmm" (not exactly what me and my husband wanted to hear) My lil' boy was burried so deep they had to get the vaccume and pull him out. When they did it was so weird (only way to describe it!), the intense pulling/pressure in my torso and then sudden relaxation and emptying of my torso. He was born at 4:17pm. He cried a little, but not much; possibly due to the drugs I was given. They took him to clean him up and wrap him up. At this point the amniotic fluid mixed with the blood of the incision ran all over the floor - causing my husband to panic (obviously thinking I was bleeding out) but they calmed him down and handed him our son. My husband actually started crying.
At this point I tried to reach out to my son but then I noticed my arms were strapped down, they unstrapped them for me and I was able to stroke his cheek and my husbands hair.
I don't really remember much at this point as I was so tired and cold (effects of the numbing drug they'd given me: the anesthesiologist kept telling me to keep my eyes open though and even had to get my husband in on the whole "keep your eyes open for us, okay that's good" because I just wanted to sleep. I'm not sure why I needed to keep my eyes open... maybe so they knew I didn't die? LOL)
They wheeled me into the recovery room where baby was weighed: 9lbs 12.5oz 22 inches long (not chubby one bit - just big.) Everyone was impressed with him (his size, as well as how perfect and handsome he was), even our doctor stayed to see how much he weighed and told me the reason I wasn't dilating was because of the size of his head - couldn't mold down into my pelvis to dilate me and that I probably wouldn't have been able to give birth naturally, which made me feel better. I was having a guilt trip thinking I was weak for going for the C-Section because I'd been so goal oriented on a natural birth... but honestly I wouldn't have had it any other way.
They came to test his blood sugars due to my GD and had to poke his heels so many times they actually had to close the curtain between us and them because my husband was getting so upset (the tech that did the poking was just ridiculous. For 1 he came into the room unscrubbed before the nurses had to yell at him and tell him to go scrub down. 2. poked his heel and then proceeded to squeeze and squeeze causing our baby to scream (he didn't use a hot pack like the other nurses ended up doing to help blood flow) we later found out this guy was a tech student from the college. I wish I'd known because I would have told them to get someone else.) Luckily his blood sugars were great - they had to test them several times while we were in the hospital which is hard as a parent to hear your child cry but it is great knowing he is healthy and I did good keeping my GD controlled.
After an hour they wheeled us back to our room (they had us change from a birthing suite to a regular recovery room) - luckily it was just a single room with a chair that was a pull out bed - a closet - shower and bathroom - a glider rocker and a table/chair set by the window. They had origionally told us after the C-Section that we'd have to share a room which we were NOT looking forward to.
I don't remember much as I had been given morphine for the pain (which burns slightly as it is given) and spent that night recovering and being amazed at the fact that my husband and I had made something so perfect and beautiful together... There's no way to describe the love you feel.
My husband who has been very protective through out the pregnancy - but VERY adamant that he was NOT going to be changing diapers or doing any of that really stepped up to the plate. At first he was terrified of picking him up (I didn't realise this until he kept getting frustrated and saying "I can't do it!" Finally I talked him through changing a diaper - swaddling - and how to hold and pick up a newborn) After that I barely got to hold my son except to feed him because my husband couldn't put him down
I love seeing my husbands eyes light up every time our baby opened his eyes. My husband had truely fallen in love.
Sunday the 2nd of October I was given food - broth and jellow, yum! Then they took the leg compressors off (these were put on before surgery to help keep blood flowing through my legs so I didn't get blood clots) and my cathiter out - I was expected to get up and go to the bathroom atleast 3 times and have the nurses check it (kind of embarrasing) my husband was great helping me in and out of bed as there is so much pain even with all the painkillers they were giving me.
Beware - the first time I stood up (and a few times after) I bled through my pad... and I don't mean it trickled down my leg... I mean full on gush - like a vein had been cut and I thought I was dying. It lasted for a minute or so. I was so embarassed but my husband was great he didn't flinch. He steadied me - grabbed a towel and helped clean me (and the floor) up and helped me to the bathroom. The first few times I peed it was full of blood and my blood clots were the size of my pads... seriously. So don't be alarmed the nurses said it was normal. Also getting up and down - even from the height of a toilet is very painful - and you will be weak, try not to use your tummy muscles... arms, and upper thights first. It's great to have a labor partner... I really don't know what I would have done with out my husbands help.
Side note: shower as soon as you can - it feels amazing!
That night we had our baby circumcized and we both were in the room with him... we didn't really watch as it was just hard to see your baby laying there bleeding but we wanted to be there for moral support. It looks horrible at first but it heals up fast. Just keep it clean and watch for puss... there is a yellowy pussy substance that comes off it that helps it heal so don't wipe it off... talk to your doctor about it if you're worried. Since his circ was the day after my C-Section they got me a wheel chair (I'm thankful I took it, I had origionally wanted to walk to the operating room which was no more than 60 feet away but being on my feet for more than a few minutes made me dizzy and sick) I tried to do too much too fast because I'm used to being the one to do everything. The first week I was so hyped on endorphins I couldn't relax and now on my second week I'm exhausted and rest as much as I can.
Also - if you worried about breastfeeding ask a nurse for help. I didn't get the help I needed with breast feeding and now I have to suppliment with formula and pump as much as I can. So my advice to you is seek help from your lactition nurse. I had taken a breastfeeding class and thought I knew how to do it... then my left nipple cracked and after a few days I was unable to feed with my left breast and now my milk supply is down to almost nothing and I'm desperately trying to find ways to increase it. - On the boob note get a great nursing bra. I got mine from Motherhood.com, because believe me a few days out of the hospital when your milk comes in you will want them. I made the mistake of sleeping with out mine and leaked all over my bed. Also - nipple pads... stock up!
I had people come and visit the day after I gave birth... I don't recommend it (besides grandma and grandpa of course!) I was still so drugged up and exhausted that having people over just exhausted me more and everyone wanted to hold him but my husband and I didn't feel comfortable with it. It is okay to tell people no, they're just so new and tiny. We waited til he was a few days old to let other people than immediate family hold him.
Monday Oct 3rd and Tuesday the 4th we spent relaxing. I had so many people calling, texting, facebooking me I was exhausted. I wish I'd just turned off my phone... we actually ended up disconnecting our room phone because we were getting so many calls and even now - 2 weeks later I have a lot of visiters. I really wish I'd thought of a time line... like "please no visiters until 1 week later... or 2 weeks." It's hard to take care of a baby and see to visiters and keep yourself clean and clean your house etc...
My husband didn't get paid vacation but luckily we saved enough money for him to stay home the first week. He was such a great help even though I still couldn't relax. He did the dishes and laundry and cleaned the house and changed diapers etcetcetc (this is from my husband who was raised thinking women stayed home and did the cleaning and the men worked... he really stepped up and I'm so proud of him.) Also accept help from friends! If they want to come over and hold baby, let them and jump in the shower!
Kyle had a bit of jaundice - but after a week of feeding him on a strict 2-3 hour schedule he pooped it all out and is now doing great!
Also - find time for eachother. I feel like my husband and I had this competition for our baby because he had to step up and do everything which gave him the hovering mother bear instinct... but I wanted to hold Kyle and do things for him and be his mommy but I kinda wasn't allowed because I had to recover so we fought a bit. Also this, mixed with postpartum hormones caused me to cry uncontrollablly about every little thing I got upset about. Luckily it was just hormones and not postpartum depression.
Now we try and cuddle up and suddenly Kyle wants to be held by me so my husband and I haven't had alot of us time. Take time to shower together, and cuddle before bed, and kiss eachother... it will help
Give yourself time to heal. Like I said I tried doing too much too soon and could have given myself a hernia. You get hyped up on hormones but you need to realise how serious of a surgery this is. Luckily I healed up fast and now can use my stomach muscles to get off the couch and bed while holding Kyle - and no longer need pain killers. This makes taking care of the household chores alot easier - but I kind of wish I'd milked having everything done for me while my husband was home
Now Kyle is 1 week and 5 days old... he smiles in his sleep - has discovered that he has these awesome portable binkies that go everywhere with him (fingers!) - his umbilical cord has fallen off and he has a bellybutton! and his circumcision is almost completely healed. The first few days alone with him I admit there were a lot of tears on my end... I was exhausted and unsure... but after a few days I have found some strength and today was such a good day.
Congratulations to all of you and good luck!
My husband and I are young parents - I'm 21 and he's 26. Kyle is our 1st Baby - EDD of October 1st 2011. He was born at 4:17pm on October 1st 2011 by unplanned C-Section. 9lbs 12.5 oz - 22 inches long.
From the start... before I even knew I wanted kids I knew I wanted to have an all natural - drug free birth. My reasons? 1. Women have been doing this for thousands of years, our bodies are MADE to do this so I knew I had the ability to do it! 2. I didn't like the idea of the drugs circulating through my baby...okay and 3. I was pretty scared of the epidural.
I'd been pretty anxious the last few weeks about my son. I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes (diet controlled) and was worried about the effects on him, as well as I was just plain excited to meet him. For weeks my doctor told me I WASN'T dilating - he hadn't dropped (he was in the -2 station) and my cervix wasn't effacing.
I've tried walking, acupuncture, and finally after debating with my husband (who was scared to go anywhere near me with his thingie because "the baby can tell! I'm going to poke him in the head!"; sex.
Monday (9/26) I started noticing a lot of back pain (it was excruciating pain, like menstal back pain x100. They also say if you have alot of back pain during your period you're more likely to have back labor), by Tuesday (9/27) is became regular and I went into the hospital and they hooked me up... sure enough I was having contractions! YAY! Thursday (9/29) I went back to the hospital as the back labor had increased - they checked my cervix and it was still closed so they had me walk the halls for an hour - after that hour I still hadn't dilated and so I was sent home with an ambien to help me sleep (which... only helped me sleep 1 hour due to the contractions :/ ) I also noticed a lot of clear mucusy - tinged with yellow substance, which I thought was my plug.
Friday (9/30) I noticed a watery substance in the morning but this was the only time I noticed it and it was very little so I let it go thinking it was part of the plug. I cleaned house all day - just dealing with contractions and noticing more of the mucusy substance. After I had to put pads on to help deal with the amount of mucusy substance that was comming out. My husband got home from work and I told him about the substance but I didn't want to run to the hospital again just to be turned away so we stayed home and watched movies.
Finally around midnight or so we decide it's just best to be checked even if we were turned away... so off we go to the hospital. I got checked out -they said there was a trace amount of amniotic fluid so they admitted me. Since my water had "broken/torn" they said if I didn't progress naturally (as I wanted) then it would be best to be induced. They gave me a time limit of 2 hours. As you guessed... I didn't dilate and so they induced me around 3am.
Saturday (10/1/2011) With the pain and the uncomfortablness of being hooked to so many wires (fetal monitor, contraction monitor, fluids, and pitocin IV) I didn't sleep much until they knocked me out with stadol (heaven after weeks of not sleeping.) My doctor came about 10am and checked my progression. During the exam my water actually broke... weird warm gushing feeling... kinda like peeing yourself only way more fluid and uncontrollable! He said I'd only dilated to 4cm after all night of being on pitocin (they say you usually dilate about .5 a cm every hour so I was WAY behind). He also asked how long I'd been noticing the meconium. I was shocked, I had no idea there was any meconium... but baby's heart beat was good so they weren't too worried.
He suggested an epidural since I was in so much pain (I don't remember the meeting at his point due to the pain of contractions, only that after the epi -I was so comfortable and able to rest! I couldn't believe I'd ever doubted the epidural) Doctor said we could still try to see if I progressed and so we waited until 3pm. At 3pm he came back and I'd barely dilated to 5, still wasn't effacing... my waters had been broke for over 30 hours. I wasn't against a c-section (my mom had one for me) and at this point I was more scared of pushing with all the pain I'd experienced than the c-section it's self. So we agreed and off we went.
First of all, it was a pain to get me on to the operating table since I couldn't feel my legs, and once they got me on the anesthesologist (who was so sweet, and talked to me through the whole thing about babies and how happy he was for us) introduced the other numbing drug and strapped my arms down in a "Jesus" pose (I didn't even notice I was so out of it, and excited to being so close to meeting my little nudger). After they had me all set up my husband was allowed to come and sit by my head.
I didn't feel them cutting - obviously, only a tugging pressure and weird popping as they got through each layer. When they got to him it was a weirder, harder pulling sensation (not painful, just weird.) My doctor actually kinda paused and said "hmm" (not exactly what me and my husband wanted to hear) My lil' boy was burried so deep they had to get the vaccume and pull him out. When they did it was so weird (only way to describe it!), the intense pulling/pressure in my torso and then sudden relaxation and emptying of my torso. He was born at 4:17pm. He cried a little, but not much; possibly due to the drugs I was given. They took him to clean him up and wrap him up. At this point the amniotic fluid mixed with the blood of the incision ran all over the floor - causing my husband to panic (obviously thinking I was bleeding out) but they calmed him down and handed him our son. My husband actually started crying.
At this point I tried to reach out to my son but then I noticed my arms were strapped down, they unstrapped them for me and I was able to stroke his cheek and my husbands hair.
I don't really remember much at this point as I was so tired and cold (effects of the numbing drug they'd given me: the anesthesiologist kept telling me to keep my eyes open though and even had to get my husband in on the whole "keep your eyes open for us, okay that's good" because I just wanted to sleep. I'm not sure why I needed to keep my eyes open... maybe so they knew I didn't die? LOL)
They wheeled me into the recovery room where baby was weighed: 9lbs 12.5oz 22 inches long (not chubby one bit - just big.) Everyone was impressed with him (his size, as well as how perfect and handsome he was), even our doctor stayed to see how much he weighed and told me the reason I wasn't dilating was because of the size of his head - couldn't mold down into my pelvis to dilate me and that I probably wouldn't have been able to give birth naturally, which made me feel better. I was having a guilt trip thinking I was weak for going for the C-Section because I'd been so goal oriented on a natural birth... but honestly I wouldn't have had it any other way.
They came to test his blood sugars due to my GD and had to poke his heels so many times they actually had to close the curtain between us and them because my husband was getting so upset (the tech that did the poking was just ridiculous. For 1 he came into the room unscrubbed before the nurses had to yell at him and tell him to go scrub down. 2. poked his heel and then proceeded to squeeze and squeeze causing our baby to scream (he didn't use a hot pack like the other nurses ended up doing to help blood flow) we later found out this guy was a tech student from the college. I wish I'd known because I would have told them to get someone else.) Luckily his blood sugars were great - they had to test them several times while we were in the hospital which is hard as a parent to hear your child cry but it is great knowing he is healthy and I did good keeping my GD controlled.
After an hour they wheeled us back to our room (they had us change from a birthing suite to a regular recovery room) - luckily it was just a single room with a chair that was a pull out bed - a closet - shower and bathroom - a glider rocker and a table/chair set by the window. They had origionally told us after the C-Section that we'd have to share a room which we were NOT looking forward to.
I don't remember much as I had been given morphine for the pain (which burns slightly as it is given) and spent that night recovering and being amazed at the fact that my husband and I had made something so perfect and beautiful together... There's no way to describe the love you feel.
My husband who has been very protective through out the pregnancy - but VERY adamant that he was NOT going to be changing diapers or doing any of that really stepped up to the plate. At first he was terrified of picking him up (I didn't realise this until he kept getting frustrated and saying "I can't do it!" Finally I talked him through changing a diaper - swaddling - and how to hold and pick up a newborn) After that I barely got to hold my son except to feed him because my husband couldn't put him down
I love seeing my husbands eyes light up every time our baby opened his eyes. My husband had truely fallen in love.Sunday the 2nd of October I was given food - broth and jellow, yum! Then they took the leg compressors off (these were put on before surgery to help keep blood flowing through my legs so I didn't get blood clots) and my cathiter out - I was expected to get up and go to the bathroom atleast 3 times and have the nurses check it (kind of embarrasing) my husband was great helping me in and out of bed as there is so much pain even with all the painkillers they were giving me.
Beware - the first time I stood up (and a few times after) I bled through my pad... and I don't mean it trickled down my leg... I mean full on gush - like a vein had been cut and I thought I was dying. It lasted for a minute or so. I was so embarassed but my husband was great he didn't flinch. He steadied me - grabbed a towel and helped clean me (and the floor) up and helped me to the bathroom. The first few times I peed it was full of blood and my blood clots were the size of my pads... seriously. So don't be alarmed the nurses said it was normal. Also getting up and down - even from the height of a toilet is very painful - and you will be weak, try not to use your tummy muscles... arms, and upper thights first. It's great to have a labor partner... I really don't know what I would have done with out my husbands help.
Side note: shower as soon as you can - it feels amazing!
That night we had our baby circumcized and we both were in the room with him... we didn't really watch as it was just hard to see your baby laying there bleeding but we wanted to be there for moral support. It looks horrible at first but it heals up fast. Just keep it clean and watch for puss... there is a yellowy pussy substance that comes off it that helps it heal so don't wipe it off... talk to your doctor about it if you're worried. Since his circ was the day after my C-Section they got me a wheel chair (I'm thankful I took it, I had origionally wanted to walk to the operating room which was no more than 60 feet away but being on my feet for more than a few minutes made me dizzy and sick) I tried to do too much too fast because I'm used to being the one to do everything. The first week I was so hyped on endorphins I couldn't relax and now on my second week I'm exhausted and rest as much as I can.
Also - if you worried about breastfeeding ask a nurse for help. I didn't get the help I needed with breast feeding and now I have to suppliment with formula and pump as much as I can. So my advice to you is seek help from your lactition nurse. I had taken a breastfeeding class and thought I knew how to do it... then my left nipple cracked and after a few days I was unable to feed with my left breast and now my milk supply is down to almost nothing and I'm desperately trying to find ways to increase it. - On the boob note get a great nursing bra. I got mine from Motherhood.com, because believe me a few days out of the hospital when your milk comes in you will want them. I made the mistake of sleeping with out mine and leaked all over my bed. Also - nipple pads... stock up!
I had people come and visit the day after I gave birth... I don't recommend it (besides grandma and grandpa of course!) I was still so drugged up and exhausted that having people over just exhausted me more and everyone wanted to hold him but my husband and I didn't feel comfortable with it. It is okay to tell people no, they're just so new and tiny. We waited til he was a few days old to let other people than immediate family hold him.
Monday Oct 3rd and Tuesday the 4th we spent relaxing. I had so many people calling, texting, facebooking me I was exhausted. I wish I'd just turned off my phone... we actually ended up disconnecting our room phone because we were getting so many calls and even now - 2 weeks later I have a lot of visiters. I really wish I'd thought of a time line... like "please no visiters until 1 week later... or 2 weeks." It's hard to take care of a baby and see to visiters and keep yourself clean and clean your house etc...
My husband didn't get paid vacation but luckily we saved enough money for him to stay home the first week. He was such a great help even though I still couldn't relax. He did the dishes and laundry and cleaned the house and changed diapers etcetcetc (this is from my husband who was raised thinking women stayed home and did the cleaning and the men worked... he really stepped up and I'm so proud of him.) Also accept help from friends! If they want to come over and hold baby, let them and jump in the shower!
Kyle had a bit of jaundice - but after a week of feeding him on a strict 2-3 hour schedule he pooped it all out and is now doing great!
Also - find time for eachother. I feel like my husband and I had this competition for our baby because he had to step up and do everything which gave him the hovering mother bear instinct... but I wanted to hold Kyle and do things for him and be his mommy but I kinda wasn't allowed because I had to recover so we fought a bit. Also this, mixed with postpartum hormones caused me to cry uncontrollablly about every little thing I got upset about. Luckily it was just hormones and not postpartum depression.
Now we try and cuddle up and suddenly Kyle wants to be held by me so my husband and I haven't had alot of us time. Take time to shower together, and cuddle before bed, and kiss eachother... it will help
Give yourself time to heal. Like I said I tried doing too much too soon and could have given myself a hernia. You get hyped up on hormones but you need to realise how serious of a surgery this is. Luckily I healed up fast and now can use my stomach muscles to get off the couch and bed while holding Kyle - and no longer need pain killers. This makes taking care of the household chores alot easier - but I kind of wish I'd milked having everything done for me while my husband was home
Now Kyle is 1 week and 5 days old... he smiles in his sleep - has discovered that he has these awesome portable binkies that go everywhere with him (fingers!) - his umbilical cord has fallen off and he has a bellybutton! and his circumcision is almost completely healed. The first few days alone with him I admit there were a lot of tears on my end... I was exhausted and unsure... but after a few days I have found some strength and today was such a good day.
Congratulations to all of you and good luck!
xxxx
