"Unschooling"

[smokey]

^ yeah I do agree with your last paragraph about some of the things, eg toys, teeth brushing etc. Perhaps she has unresolved issues about her own childhood as well and is attempting to deal with these by buying her children all the toys she wanted as a child, which doesn't make sense anyway within the context of unschooling, because she is the one choosing the toys, whereas I though unschooling was following the child's lead, not the other way around. x

Exactly, to me that still comes across as pushing all your own hangups about your childhood onto your child rather then letting them lead the way so at the end of the day its little more then "your doing this because I always wanted to" rather then "what do you want to do?" is there then much of a differance between that and those that force their children to do beauty pagents or compeat in things because they always wanted to or cant let go of their own childhood and face having to grow up.

Im not a real big fan of unscooling as it is because I strongly believe that children need boundries and guidance in certain things to thrive but I also believe in each to their own but I just dont think this woman is using the ideas behind unschooling responsably.
If done correctly im sure it has many of its own merits but this one just comes across to me as though she doesnt want to have to grow up herself.

 

[Eternal]

I think it has some credit to it, but for the most part i dont really agree with it.

As a parent you will sometimes do things that your child wont like, like vaccinations, which ultimately might not be pleaseant for the child at the time but in the long run are for the best.

Its not right for a child to be given complete automy (sp?) as such a young age, children DO NOT have the same comprehension and understanding as an adult, things like the concept of time are completely different for a child than an adult.

Im say my parenting is fairly relaxed, generally if my son doesnt want a nap or to go to bed I allow him to stay up longer or skip a nap. he is only 20 months old so i guess its different.

But there is nothing wrong with relaxed parenting, or allowing children to discover and learn for themselves. Also I it only benifical to feed a childs interests, so if they excel and something or enjoy something then spend time in that area.

But for the most part I think a parent needs to be a parent, and that means making unpopular decisions. Children need to know their are rules to society, they need to know that life wont always go their way, they need to learn that some things they wont be very good at but can excel in other areas, etc.

But thats just my opioion, as i say i see some credit to it and i see some real negaitives to it, but I guess its like most things, when we see or here something different to what is usual to society its always those who are extreme that are highlighted.

I think there are people on here who do it and very much differently to what I saw on the documentery.

 

[marley2580]

I just don't understand it. I've yet to see a reason to 'un-school' that I agree with. I'm not a teacher, and I'd rather not use my child as an experiment to see if I could be.

Actually, no-one that unschools is trying to be a teacher, rather they are being a facilitator for their child's learning.

in reply to some of the other concerns:

Unschooling doesn't mean not being a parent. Children need loving adults interested in helping them grow and learn. Choosing to build a lego village will include the opportunity to learn math and culture, maybe even history depending on the type of village. We do chores, have a family life, and participate in the wider community. The children are actively engaged in living and learning during all of this.

How do you know they are learning?
You will know by listening to them speak, by watching them play, just by being with them. You will know they are leaning at 8 the same way you knew they were learning at 18 months. You will see them use their skills and knowledge. This does take some effort on the part of the parent. The information is not contained on a worksheet or within a report. It is not all nice and neat and tied up with a grade. It's spread out over the course of the day while the children are living their lives. You have to be observant and tuned into your child, in order to know. The nice thing about this is that it's great fun to observe your children so closely, to be so in tune with their lives. It brings contentment to both parent and child to know each other so well.

But what about discipline?
What most people mean when they ask about discipline is not the external system of punishment and rewards, but of an internal understanding of self discipline. Jumping through onerous academic hoops will not necessarily lead to self discipline. Our children gain a sense of how important self discipline is by watching us. Our ability to model a self disciplined life is much more powerful than handing in book reports in time. Helping children reach their own goals will mean there will be plenty of opportunities to discuss stick-to-itiveness, follow through, and how sometimes it's worth doing the things that are no fun in order to reach the desired goal. These lessons have much more meaning when they are in conjuction with goals the children set for themselves.

taken from www.unschooling.com

I'm not an unschooler, but I am very child led in many things

 

[DLA]

I probably shouldn't have used the word "punishment" as the couple on the show said they did not discipline at all. I am curious about this though. If someone doesn't "discipline" at all, how do the children learn right from wrong without rules or consequences?

I'm not being argumentative, just an honest question.

Gentle guidance...eg if your child throws a toy, instead of putting them in the naughty chair or its equivalent, you explain that throwing toys can hurt people, and it can damage the toy.

Thats how they learn.

Yeah that definitely makes sense and that would be my first response to misbehavior, but what about when explaining/discussing doesn't work. You can't always reason with children on everything and I don't think they can be expected to use logic and reason at an adult level. I totally agree with not jumping to punishment and explaining, but what happens if that doesn't work? 2nd, 3rd & 4th time of the same misbehavior, would you not give them some sort of consequences?

I know I've gone a little OT but I'm curious about this.

 

[Lightworker]

I probably shouldn't have used the word "punishment" as the couple on the show said they did not discipline at all. I am curious about this though. If someone doesn't "discipline" at all, how do the children learn right from wrong without rules or consequences?

I'm not being argumentative, just an honest question.

Gentle guidance...eg if your child throws a toy, instead of putting them in the naughty chair or its equivalent, you explain that throwing toys can hurt people, and it can damage the toy.

Thats how they learn.

Yeah that definitely makes sense and that would be my first response to misbehavior, but what about when explaining/discussing doesn't work. You can't always reason with children on everything and I don't think they can be expected to use logic and reason at an adult level. I totally agree with not jumping to punishment and explaining, but what happens if that doesn't work? 2nd, 3rd & 4th time of the same misbehavior, would you not give them some sort of consequences?

I know I've gone a little OT but I'm curious about this.

Yeah, I definitely know what you mean, it takes alot of repetition, children ( and adults as well) need repeating and practice before something sticks. So I just repeat myself constantly. It takes a lot of patience, and I'll be the first to admit I am not the most patient person, so it can be very challenging.

But its no different to naughty step etc. When a child is sent to the naughty step, thats not the end of it. On another day, the same mistake will be made, and naughty step invoked. Even with smacking. One smack won't mean the end of "negative" behaviour, you will have to keep smacking till they learn.

For me I just have to keep reminding myself she is only 4, she is still learning, but it is very rewarding when she says, "you see Mommy, I am not throwing because I don't want to hurt anyone" it means she gets it, all that with no detrimental effects (hopefully).

 

[indy and lara]

Any good teacher knows what a child has learned by listening and questioning. This applies as much to preschoolers as it does to those in secondary school. Active learning and learning through doing has been at the fore in schools in Scotland for a lot of years now.(some of us would argue that they have always been the way we teach). Child led learning has been the way it is done in preschools for a very long time. They are not concepts exclusive to home or unschooling. Teachers know that worksheets don't tell you definitively what a child knows.

I have issue with quite a lot of the OP's comments. The same ones which have been already highlighted. I don't see how not brushing teeth and allowing your child to choose 24 hour a day TV if they wish are healthy things tbh.

 

[summer rain]

We don't unschool but we are definitely child-led, this did cause a bit of a clash with the lady from the local authority who knows that homeschoolers don't have to follow the national curriculum but her idea of 'child-led' is forcing the kids to do loads of fancy projects and basing our whole curriculum on 'project based learning' which defeats the object IMHO, I think she has realised now that the kids will do projects on a given topic if they want to and do a good mix of workbooks, textbooks, project based learning, and just doing their own thing; as last time she came she gave us a glowing report. I have known some 'radical unschoolers' though and I wouldn't agree entirely with their ethos, I do think everyone needs a bit of routine in their lives because most people will end up working for an employer later or even go on to college or uni and you need to be able to get up at a certain time and complete some work to a deadline in order to progress in those environments. We don't have any game consoles, and any TV is on Iplayer or the other various tv players online and limited to an hour or two every other day or so. xx