update on telling parents

[ella170]

suddenly this afternoon, both my mum (i was so suprised at her change of heart from yesterday) and dad have been trying to force me into having an abortion because they 'want to do what's best for me'. i can't understand how any parent would think that the psychological affects which abortion has on a woman(especially this late on) would really be what's best for their daughter? i've been getting lectures all afternoon on how my life will be ruined, i'll be living in poverty for the rest of my life, my life is going to be shit, etc..my dad said he won't watch me ruin my life.
they said, don't you want to be able to just wake up in the morning and know that everything's normal again? of course my life wouldn't be f***ing normal again,if i didn't top myself afterwards out of guilt then i would probably be feeling terrible for the rest of my life.
i basically got told that there's no place for me in the house if i choose to keep the baby. i haven't got a job and i've got nowhere to go. could things really get any worse?

 

[Becky]

aww hun!! sorry your having to go through this!! an abortion at your stage is outragerous im sure i read that your mum was ok with everything!!

Keep your head up high and show they your responsible and mature enough to take on everything ahead they should be proud of you for this!!

Do you think they will chuck you out or is this just a threat to make you think you have no option!!

x

 

[ellasmummy]

Aww hun this sounds awful! My mum was like this when i told her and i moved out and went to live with my bf. She then realised what she had done and was begging me to come home. Now Ella is 18months and my mum adores her, she regrets everything she said! I hope things work out well for you. Maybe just give them time to calm down and get used to the idea. xx

 

[xXx Vamp xXx]

Hey sweetheart, good on you for sticking to your beliefs, no-one has the right to force anyone into having an abortion they don't want. There is support out there sweetheart please don't feel like you're alone.

 

[ella170]

aww hun!! sorry your having to go through this!! an abortion at your stage is outragerous im sure i read that your mum was ok with everything!!

Keep your head up high and show they your responsible and mature enough to take on everything ahead they should be proud of you for this!!

Do you think they will chuck you out or is this just a threat to make you think you have no option!!

x

i know she completly changed from yesterday! she just listens to my dad and then copies what he says. i thought at least she would understand as she would know how it feels to have your baby kicking and seeing the scan, etc
i don't know if they're just blackmailing me into having an abortion or whether they would make me leave? the thing is that i could still finish school and go uni, but i would need their support to do it, so it would be their fault if i never got anywhere. my poor little boy all of this stress i'm putting on him, i feel so bad

 

[Sophie1205]

yeah dont listen to your parents about the abortion thing. my mum was like that at first she said she wouldnt be happy until i had an abortion. so i moved out and now i live with my OH. Now my mum is really excited and cant wait for the baby to be born. its just the shock at first. once theyve had time to think about it properly they will come around. they cant make ur decisions for you. and yeah an abortion at ur stage wud just be absolutely ridiculous. personally i dont beleive in abortion anyway but i think at any stage it would be awful. ur so connected with ur baby now, i dont think you could deal with an abortion.
Please dont let them persuade you. My mum almost persuaded me but i knew i wanted my baby so i stuck to it.
Dont back down
Hope they come round soon

xxxx

 

[m_t_rose]

i know she completly changed from yesterday! she just listens to my dad and then copies what he says. i thought at least she would understand as she would know how it feels to have your baby kicking and seeing the scan, etc
i don't know if they're just blackmailing me into having an abortion or whether they would make me leave? the thing is that i could still finish school and go uni, but i would need their support to do it, so it would be their fault if i never got anywhere. my poor little boy all of this stress i'm putting on him, i feel so bad

I am sorry but it would not be your parents fault if you didn't go to university they didn't get you into the situation you did. It is unfortunate that they are not taking this very well but they had no choice in you getting pregnant so they don't have to take responsibility. I really hope they come around thought because everyone no matter their age needs a support system.
I am not trying to be mean but the comment just rubbed me the wrong way

 

[heather91]

I am sorry but it would not be your parents fault if you didn't go to university they didn't get you into the situation you did. It is unfortunate that they are not taking this very well but they had no choice in you getting pregnant so they don't have to take responsibility. I really hope they come around thought because everyone no matter their age needs a support system.
I am not trying to be mean but the comment just rubbed me the wrong way

Yeah I agree it wouldn't be their fault at all, but I hope all works out for you.

 

[nikky0907]

Well,yeah it's not her parents' fault but shouldn't they try to help her to do whats best for her.
It's a messy situation but she can surely get through it and she only needs their support and little help.If they want whats best for her like they said,they should accept this and help their daughter build a life for herself.

Asking you to have an abortion at 22 weeks is ridiculous,do they know that? They've seen the scan pic and your mom knows what is like to feel a life growing inside her.

Terrible pressure and stres they put on you.I'm so sorry.I can only say that I highly doubt that they will kick you out.It's just a blackmail to make you have an abortion.

Could you stay with your bf for a couple of days or someone? Do his parents know?
Maybe just give your parents a little scare and they'll snap back.You are still their baby,they love you and they certainly don't want to lose you...

 

[ella170]

I am sorry but it would not be your parents fault if you didn't go to university they didn't get you into the situation you did. It is unfortunate that they are not taking this very well but they had no choice in you getting pregnant so they don't have to take responsibility. I really hope they come around thought because everyone no matter their age needs a support system.
I am not trying to be mean but the comment just rubbed me the wrong way

technically it would be their fault because if they gave me support, i could go..if they don't, then i can't. when i say 'fault', i mean it's down to them, i don't know if you really thought about it. more to the point i've got something more important to deal with at the moment. there's so much more i could say i just don't have the energy to think about it

 

[ella170]

Could you stay with your bf for a couple of days or someone? Do his parents know?
Maybe just give your parents a little scare and they'll snap back.You are still their baby,they love you and they certainly don't want to lose you...

he hasn't told his mum yet and i wouldn't want to go round there taking up space, i would just feel bad.
sorry i just can't think of much to say, you know when so much is on your mind it's hard to think about anything else

 

[ayshahudson]

Whatever happened to loving your kids unconditionally?
Your parents might not like the situation sweetie but they have to accept it otherwise they'll just keep building up the resentment towards you and the baby.

My parents don't talk to me anymore because i'm a teen mum but the way i see it, it's their problem not mine. You need to have positive people around your baby.
Good Luck

 

[xarlenex]

You really could still go to uni without their help. If you get a job, working 16 hours a week, you qualify for tax credits and then help with childcare costs. You could easily do a course with Open Uni then too. Which would be completely paid for you as you would only be earning a part time wage.

Or you could attend a college/uni with a creche..?

Please dont think that because they wont support you that you cant bring your child up they way you'd like, because you can. Hope they do change there mind xx

 

[~KACI~]

Lots and lots of

First of all try not to let this stress you out, i know thats hard.
Hopefully they will come around and you don't have to start thinking about other stuff, but if they don't have you spoken to anyone from council or anyone else that can give you advice on housing, money and that sort of thing.
I am hoping that there suggestion of abortion at this late stage is just because of the shock.
Is it possible for you to go and stay somewhere for a nite so they can have chill out time to reflect and you can just forget the troubles at home for yourself and baby's sake??

 

[m_t_rose]

technically it would be their fault because if they gave me support, i could go..if they don't, then i can't. when i say 'fault', i mean it's down to them, i don't know if you really thought about it. more to the point i've got something more important to deal with at the moment. there's so much more i could say i just don't have the energy to think about it

No technically it isn't their fault in anyway because if you didn't get pregnant in the first place you could go to university, not that you can change the past but blaming your parents is completely wrong. If you want to go to university take the initative and do it yourself it is in no way their responisbility. If you blame your parents if you dont get to go to university you will resent them your whole life. I still wish you luck and hope your parents do come around because it would be so much easier for you to go to university and do everything you wanted to do with the help of your parents.

 

[pinkbarbie]

dpnt have an abortion sooo late its not ryt u can get suppposrt i bet they dont chuck u out they aynt gunna throw u out pregnant on the streets.... jus ask if u can stay there and go down to the local council and get them to get u a flat then social will pay for it .. loadsa girls av got flats round here cuz they av ad babys and dont pay for them jus go and talk to sumone whp can help u bbe xxxx

 

[mBLACK]

I know here there are alot of programs that help young mothers out, maybe there's somewhere you could get set up with for a home, childcare etc.? Whatever you do, dont do what others tell you, listen to your heart and how you feel.. Let your heart do the deciding. Best of luck to you.