Upset about time DH spends at the pub

[Flip flop]

As some of you are probably Aware I'm desperate for a second baby, we were trying then DH changed his mind.

Anyways I'm really worried about the amount of time he's spending away at the pub. And when he's here he's always drinking.

We already have a 2 year old who was ill last night vomiting. DH was at the pub after work yesterday so I rang him to come home to get him
To help me look after ds and he came back for a few hours then went out again even though he knew I wanted him here. He slept at his friends over night then went straigtht to watch the football at the pub.

Meanwhile I've been left with ds whose been poorly. I worried that he's not spending enough time
With us as a family. How will a second one ever seem like a good idea to him if he carries on like this?

 

[Angel_blues]

I'm sorry to hear about this have you spoken to him about it?

 

[NovemberSnow]

Sorry to hear about that. I think you need to talk to him - not in a confrontational way, just explain how it makes you feel and see whether there is anything that's worrying him that you can resolve together.

 

[Flip flop]

Thanks for the replies. Yes I have spoken to him about it before but he hasn't been this bad before. Think I'll need to have words again, and possibly not in a confrontational way. At least I know this time it isn't ttc because we aren't! Had a dream last night he changed his mind...gutted

 

[Angel_blues]

When I want to talk to mine and it might start a fight I leave notes " I really want to talk about ... ... ... . Would you find time for me please?" Always worked for me

 

[.Jelly.Welly.]

Oh hun I am sorry! *hugs*

When I first met my partner, he used to drink a lot, we sat down and spoke at length about it. He was very defensive to start off with, but after he had calmed down and we spoke again, it became clear it was the way he coped with everything that had happened in his life. He wasn't used to having someone who cared about him and his son and didn't really know how to express how he felt.

Nearly 2 years later we are much happier, he hardly drinks and is a much happier, more balanced person.

If this is out of character, try talking and see what he says. As hard as it may be try not to judge and if he is struggling be supportive, but also explain how you feel and how it's affecting you and your family. Hope it all works out hun x

 

[Flip flop]

It's out of character for him to do something that he knew upset me but the drinking isn't out of character, although he has been drinking a lot more lately.

He apologised anyway so I didn't see the point In going over all the details because he knew he was wrong.