rayasunshine
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2010
- Messages
- 258
- Reaction score
- 0
So in order to have this baby unassisted my husband made the decision that we needed to have prenatal care. While I didn't completely liked the idea I was okay with it as I knew it would put my husband at ease and it would even help me feel a little more comfortable with the few concerns I had. My first appointment with the ob was this past Thursday and it was the worst experience of my life.
I had a friend (who's had two homebirth and is considering a UC for her next, she will also be attending my uc) and my hubby at the appointment. I knew I wasn't going to love the appointment but I didn't think the experience would be so disastrous.
I got to the appointment about 15 minutes late (my boss was late to get home) and from the moment I got there they treated me like crap. I didn't have the ability to print the records (one page) that the midwife I had been seeing sent me so I asked the receptionist if I could email the records to them, as they said they NEEDED them in order to see me. They acted as if I'd just asked for a million dollars and had to speak to the doctor before allowing me to send them the records via email. When they got the one page they didn't believe that was all there was-- I had only been to two appointments and had no bloodwork done (the labs cost $500 and I had NO insurance). The nurse laughed when I told her I hadn't had blood drawn and said That lady was no good if she didn't draw blood, we draw blood at the first appointment here. That bothered me but I just kind of shurgged it off.
When they called me back they said my husband and friend had to stay in the waiting room while I was weighed. I didn't like that but again I shrugged it off because all they were going to do was weigh me. They weighed me and had me give them a urine sample and then asked me a bunch of questions, including ones I'd already answered. No big deal. One question they asked was Have you have a pap before I answered no as I am only 19, got pregnant at 18 and have never even been to a gyno before since you don't need to until around my age anyway. The nurse gave me an odd look but that was it. I was then told to get my husband and friend and go to the exam room.
Once I was in the exam room I was told to undress and put on a robe. Again never been to a gyno/ob so I didn't know why they wanted me to undress but I figured it was standard procedure. My friend didn't get why they told me to get undressed either, we were both kind of confused. In the corner there was a tray with an open container and a couple things laid out. My friend joked and said Ew, I hope those aren't from the last person ...Oh they weren't from another patient they were for ME and the open container had MY name on it. The doctor came in and asked me lay on the table, at this point nobody said anything to me about a pap but I was kind of gathering that was what was going on. I had to ask the doctor what she was doing. I kind of thought you know maybe they explain things before they do them but nope they just assume your ready to have stuff poked and proded into your area. After asking she explained that she was going to do a pap and she let me feel that the tools weren't sharp, etc. I was freaked out and didn't know what to say. My friend asked if they had to do it knowing it would be something I wouldn't agree to but the doctor sidestepped that question and made it seem as if I couldn't refuse the pap. I was still kind of in shock of the fact that they didn't tell me they wanted to do this and I didn't really know how to react. So I laid down since I figured thats what I had to do. I guess at some point my friend pulled my hubby aside and suggested he ask the doctor to leave but he was clueless to the fact that I COULDN'T ask the doctor to leave and assumed if I wanted the doctor to give me a minute I would ask...
The pap was horrible, I am probably being dramatic but the whole experience just felt wrong and disgusting and painful. After the pap she said she was going to do an ultrasound...my legs were still in the stirups and I was so afraid she wanted to do a vaginal ultrasound, I'm 20 weeks, it would've made no sense. But luckily she didn't, she had me put my legs down and listened to the heartbeat and then did the ultrasound. Sadly, I couldn't enjoy that fact that I got to see my baby (even if it was just an ultrasound) because I was still so upset about the pap and how unwilling the doctor was to explain anything.
While the appointment was horrible and honestly left me feeling like I'd been traumatized (I can almost say I now know what people mean when the talk about birth rape) it makes me even more strong in my belief that I HAVE to have this homebirth. If I don't I don't know how I'd handle the hospital.
I'm sorry this is so long, I just had to vent and get this off my chest.
I had a friend (who's had two homebirth and is considering a UC for her next, she will also be attending my uc) and my hubby at the appointment. I knew I wasn't going to love the appointment but I didn't think the experience would be so disastrous.
I got to the appointment about 15 minutes late (my boss was late to get home) and from the moment I got there they treated me like crap. I didn't have the ability to print the records (one page) that the midwife I had been seeing sent me so I asked the receptionist if I could email the records to them, as they said they NEEDED them in order to see me. They acted as if I'd just asked for a million dollars and had to speak to the doctor before allowing me to send them the records via email. When they got the one page they didn't believe that was all there was-- I had only been to two appointments and had no bloodwork done (the labs cost $500 and I had NO insurance). The nurse laughed when I told her I hadn't had blood drawn and said That lady was no good if she didn't draw blood, we draw blood at the first appointment here. That bothered me but I just kind of shurgged it off.
When they called me back they said my husband and friend had to stay in the waiting room while I was weighed. I didn't like that but again I shrugged it off because all they were going to do was weigh me. They weighed me and had me give them a urine sample and then asked me a bunch of questions, including ones I'd already answered. No big deal. One question they asked was Have you have a pap before I answered no as I am only 19, got pregnant at 18 and have never even been to a gyno before since you don't need to until around my age anyway. The nurse gave me an odd look but that was it. I was then told to get my husband and friend and go to the exam room.
Once I was in the exam room I was told to undress and put on a robe. Again never been to a gyno/ob so I didn't know why they wanted me to undress but I figured it was standard procedure. My friend didn't get why they told me to get undressed either, we were both kind of confused. In the corner there was a tray with an open container and a couple things laid out. My friend joked and said Ew, I hope those aren't from the last person ...Oh they weren't from another patient they were for ME and the open container had MY name on it. The doctor came in and asked me lay on the table, at this point nobody said anything to me about a pap but I was kind of gathering that was what was going on. I had to ask the doctor what she was doing. I kind of thought you know maybe they explain things before they do them but nope they just assume your ready to have stuff poked and proded into your area. After asking she explained that she was going to do a pap and she let me feel that the tools weren't sharp, etc. I was freaked out and didn't know what to say. My friend asked if they had to do it knowing it would be something I wouldn't agree to but the doctor sidestepped that question and made it seem as if I couldn't refuse the pap. I was still kind of in shock of the fact that they didn't tell me they wanted to do this and I didn't really know how to react. So I laid down since I figured thats what I had to do. I guess at some point my friend pulled my hubby aside and suggested he ask the doctor to leave but he was clueless to the fact that I COULDN'T ask the doctor to leave and assumed if I wanted the doctor to give me a minute I would ask...
The pap was horrible, I am probably being dramatic but the whole experience just felt wrong and disgusting and painful. After the pap she said she was going to do an ultrasound...my legs were still in the stirups and I was so afraid she wanted to do a vaginal ultrasound, I'm 20 weeks, it would've made no sense. But luckily she didn't, she had me put my legs down and listened to the heartbeat and then did the ultrasound. Sadly, I couldn't enjoy that fact that I got to see my baby (even if it was just an ultrasound) because I was still so upset about the pap and how unwilling the doctor was to explain anything.
While the appointment was horrible and honestly left me feeling like I'd been traumatized (I can almost say I now know what people mean when the talk about birth rape) it makes me even more strong in my belief that I HAVE to have this homebirth. If I don't I don't know how I'd handle the hospital.
I'm sorry this is so long, I just had to vent and get this off my chest.
