Vent post - long winded, but need a little support!

[Dani_Ldn]

I feel like I am losing my mind. I have an almost 3 year old & an almost 9 month old. Most days I struggle to get through the day, I used to love being a mother & now I am starting to hate it.

My 9 month old has been sleeping through great since we sleep trained her about a month ago & I was finally starting to feel normal, then about 10 days ago she caught a tummy bug & has been horrible ever since. Pooping up to 8 times a day, her sleep day & night has been terrible (except of course when my husband is home, so he thinks I am exaggerating her non sleep during the day). The past 2 days she has slept about 18 hours in total (days & nights), my toddler is being a toddler, being loud when I eventually get her to sleep so she wakes, hitting me, trying his best to refuse naps & dinner.

I am so tired & physically/mentally drained & I feel so alone most days being a sahm, I don't have any friends who are sahm's & even getting out for a walk some days is really difficult. I was in a due date group on FB for my youngest, but due to a major bust up in the group & me taking the side of the less favoured person (who frankly was being treated like utter crap) & speaking up in her defense, well the creator of the group & a few of her lackies (the group is extremely cliquey) did not like that & they took it upon themselves to remove me from the group & said that over half the group wanted me gone, which was a lie as I spoke to many people who had no idea about it all happening. So the bitchy women in that group have cut me off from another support system I had & turned a lot of people against me, manipulating & making up stories etc.. So sometimes I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to.

I am meant to be returning to work soon & don't know now if that is even possible with all this happening. I am hoping it is just a phase, hoping my daughter gets better soon, hoping she starts sleeping well again

Thanks for the vent, I really needed to get all of that out!

 

[Taurus8484]

Dont feel bad. Our kids are roughly same age and I have days (like today) where I think Im losing my mind.

I start back at work in 3 weeks for 3 days a week and Im actually looking forward to it. I need some adult interactions and to use my brain for other activities other than kid games. Hats off to permanent SAHM...

 

[Babybump87]

Definitely don't feel bad about anything your doing an amazing job!!. .

Its probably just a rough patch you are going through at the moment. Just getting through the day to bed time is an achievement I think lol.

I am a SAHM. It's hard work somedays with two little ones but we go to alot of playgroups.

As for banning you from playgroup its absolutely disgusting!!. Is there no other local groups. Can you let your toddler in the garden to play? Let of some steam. I do this sometimes if little one is napping.

sorry no further advice but keep doing what you are..

 

[Teri7489]

Hi there, sorry you are having a bad time. I have these on and off which make me crazy. I've found little tips online to help. Silly things but they have worked. I'll share them as some might help you.

First of all, accept you are shattered. Its rubbish but you won't always be.

Keep changing bag packed always so that if you NEED yo get out a walk its as simple as grabbing it, a bottle if needed and go.

Have a snack box made for toddler. Things like cereal bars or little tubs of cheerios. Fruit, healthy snacks and water/juice etc. A tired or hungry toddler is far more likely to have a meltdown. Have it in reach so they can enjoy it during the day if you are busy.

Have a quiet box and a noisy box. Fill quiet box with books, a DVD, teddies that sort of thing. Your toddler can have things to do when baby is sleeping that are fun and don't feel upset when you say to be quiet or they can't play with certain toys. My daughter loves it as she knows to go get her quie box when my son is sleeping. She can then play with her other toys when he's awake.

Fresh air helps immensely. Get out in the garden, the park, a walk whatever you can. Burn off toddlers energy, let them be loud outside and be a toddler. Also found my daughter sleeps so much better when she goes to bed actually tired.

Last thing is having a handy basket. With things like nappies, wipes, sacks, cream and a change of clothes. Having it handy means if it all goes wrong at the one minute (likes happens a lot!) Then ypu have everything to hand. No having to go up and find clothes to then come back down to another disaster.

As for the groups, why not mail some of this people who didn't want you off it and see if they fancy meeting up? Or ask your HV for any local groups you can attend. Even if once a week.

Sorry for the long post, I just feel your pain! Xxx

 

[Dani_Ldn]

Thank you for the replies, was having such a bad day on Friday!

Today has been a lot better so far, we went up to the shops & my son played on the kids equipment there (raining today so no park!), then both kids napped at the same time for 2 hours, was lovely!

Re the Mum's group, to be honest, there were some real bitches there so it is no great loss to me not to see their posts about trying to sell old toys & how much they hate their husbands! There were some really lovely women too & I have kept in contact with them (we are all in different countries though!)

I really believe that your kids know when you are having a bad day, so they act up even more than usual!!

 

[hlynne]

I feel your pain. I am a SAHM and I only know of one play group in the area and I don't like many of the Mom's there either. I don't have many friends. I am by myself most of the time. I also found out recently that my husband no longer wants to be a father (never wanted to be). So now I am really alone. He was away for 2 months (military). While he was away he wrote me an email stating that he doesn't want to/can't come back to our home once he is in the U.S. He has been back for 2 weeks and has only been to our house to talk 3 times. He has literally only picked up his son about 5 times since he has been born. He is 9 months old. My son is a great baby. Sleeps through the night great. No issues. Very healthy. My husband just wants nothing to do with us anymore. So, needless to say, I am very alone. I feel like I am losing my mind most days. It's so hard.