VERY afraid of vaginal tearing during delivery - please help

[Livebythesea]

My brothers and I were all big babies. My sis in law had two ten pound babies with a third degree tear from front to back. My friend's friend had 8 reconstructive surgeries from a bad tear, and is still not right.

At 30 weeks babies are usually 2.5 to 3.5 I've read and at my 30 week sono last week my baby was already almost 5 pounds. The sonogram lady said they may change my due date.

I am VERY afraid of vaginal tearing and wondering if I have options that won't harm the baby. I just switched doctors and she said that they don't induce women unless the baby is 11 or 12 pounds! Do I have a say in this? Is it safe for baby to ask for early induction? When I first went to this new office I was asked what kind of delivery option I wanted, including C-section, which I declined but am now thinking about it.

My mother struggled with incontinence for many years and I'm sure it was because of her large baby vaginal deliveries.

Please let me know your thoughts. Many thanks

 

[EYD]

I am also concerned about this. The only thing that makes me feel better is that I know women at my doc's offic that have induced by choice early, with it having nothing to do with baby's size. I definately don't want a c-section so I may ask for this myself. My doc also said that getting an epidural greatly reduces your chances of tearing because they can control the speed of the delivery better and have more time to massage and stretch the perinium. I'd just be as honest as possible as you can with your doctor. If the baby is 11-12 lbs they'll do a section anyway as I've heard its not safe to force that large of a baby through the birth canal. If your small framed its not going to happen. Good Luck!

 

[rowleypolie]

I tore with a 7lb 6 oz baby, which is considered pretty average... It all has to do with the elasticsity of the skin down there and baby's head size. There are exercises you can do and use some oils before pregnancy to avoid it. I didn't tear with my 2nd baby and she was a whole pound heavier, I think it's because I did my kegels and every all natural thing I found on this site

 

[Dtswife]

Request perineal massage and support during labor and pushing, and then when you're crowning, DON'T PUSH. Breathe the baby out and let your uterus alone get the head out. That way it goes very slowly and gives the tissues time to adjust and stretch. Also consider a water birth. Supposed to be very good at easing delivery.
I am afraid of tearing too and have done a ton of research and those are the main tips. Google it and look at the more natural birth oriented sites. They tend to have more info and be less "Obey your doctor, dearie and expect the worst" than mainstream sites.

 

[CatherineK]

It's really more about head size and speed of delivery, I think. Honestly, I think you shouldn't stress. I had second degree tears with my first and third degree with my second, (both babies were inder 8 lbs) -i didn't feel them happen, they healed fine with just stitches and I have no bladder issues. Pregnancy related incontinance had more to do with a weak pelvic floor than tears. My sister had no tears and had issues with bladder control after three babies, that she was able to help with a good chiropractor and exercises!

Even with my history of tears, I wouldn't think of an induction or c-section as an alternative. Much rather deal with a year than major abdominal surgery!

 

[qpaulina42]

Maybe an episiotomy? Although I hear they make heal less well than a natural tear. I tore, didn't feel anything, healed fine. My baby was only 6lb 11oz. That being said, it's important I think for you to talk to your doctor about your fears because you don't want to be worrying about it while pushing.

 

[gk1701]

I'm 5 ' 3" and I had a 9 lb baby after 3 hours of pushing. I only had 2 tiny stitches and they healed up fine. I didn't feel anything before or after much other than the general soreness that everyone feels.

 

[Jessica0907]

I really wouldn't worry too much about it. Natural birthing (no pitocin, etc) is supposed to help because the skin has time to stretch. Also, different birthing positions. Also, like someone else said, don't push when baby is crowning (this is aided by not having an epidural so you can feel more of what's going on and by birthing in a position that allows gravity to help). Honestly, I have had two babies: both a smidge over 7 lbs. I tore with my first delivery and didn't tear with my second. The tearing with my first was pretty bad, but time heals all. There's horror stories for EVERYTHING. Trust your body.

 

[xsadiex]

Make sure you don't have 'coached' pushing and breath baby out instead of forceful pushing. My son was 9 pound 7 and had no tears. Hoping its similar this time round! X