violent video games... is it just me?

[IHrtSteve]

My 7 year old stepson is allowed to play these awful violent videos at his mothers. It drives me crazy. He comes over and talks about these awful games and it makes my skin crawl. He is so young and it just isn't necessary. We have a little boy and another boy on the way. I don't even want him talking about these games in my house. the new game he is talking about is Call Of Duty. which supposedly starts with a terrorist shootin up an airport terminal, even shooting at injured people crawling away. what mother in her right mind would allow their child to watch/play this. My husbands feeling is that, she does what she does in her house and it isn't our business. we can only control our own home. which I agree with but this seems so damaging. any suggestions?

 

[tallybee]

It's not just you at all, my step sons are 14 and 10 and I've known them since they were 7 and 11, and they are allowed to play and watch some vile stuff at their mum's. I agree with your husband that there's nothing you can do about it, as much as we dislike the crap our exes and OH's exes do, we cannot dictate to them what happens in their house (imagine if they tried to say what should happen in your house.....)
You can absolutely lay down rules about what gets played, watched and discussed in your home though. If violent games etc get brought up in conversation at our place I say that I don't want to be hearing about that as it isn't nice.

Pop over to the step parents thread (link in my sig) if you like.

 

[IHrtSteve]

Where is that thread? And how do I link your Sig?

 

[_EllieMae_]

Honestly kids see a lot worse on the news everyday. My son is almost 9 and he has been playing COD for 2 years now and me and his dad play it too. All it is is an army game (which boys love), there are some semi graphic parts in it but in reality it's not bad at all compared to the crap on the news. I explained to my son a long time ago that stuff you see in the movies and in games is not real life and it is just made up and he understands that. My son is perfectly normal and doesn't run around talking about killing people and crap like that.

 

[Lucy22]

These games are given age requirements for a reason - I know my nephew plays them with his daddy and he's only 6yrs old. I think its awful!
I believe Call Of Duty is rated at over 15's, although I could be wrong.

Maybe talk to his mum about limiting the time he spends playing them? Maybe an hour a week? If you go in guns blazing saying "he shouldn't be allowed play that game!" she won't co operate, I don't think.
At least limit it, and see if you can maybe distract him with other more age appropriate games? I see exactly where your coming from though, I'd be concerned too

 

[TwilightAgain]

I don't have an issue with the material that kids see these days. It's an inescapable part of everyday life.

I was allowed to watch horrors as a kid, and I seen some vile ones (without parents knowing) and it did me no harm.

As for violent video games, everything has violence in these days. Real life stuff, like papers, news. Even disney cartoons such as the Lion King have fighting in and murder. Most kids that absorb this stuff will know that its unacceptable behaviour, its those who think its cool and ok that we should be concerned about but in general I think its ok.

 

[RiverSong]

I had the same issue with my ss. He was watching movies/playing games rated as high as 18. I also have my suspicions bio mom bought him one especially because i had expressed to oh how violent and nasty it was and how i was concerned for him.

Needless to say he began to suffer behavioral/ sleep problems as a result.

Funnily enough these problems stopped when bio mom banned games or movies rated higher than his age. So yes i think ratings should be stuck to for the childs sake. But i know the feeling of nobody listens to the stepmom until its too late, all too well. Stick to your guns at yout house, and maybe keep approaching oh with your concerns until he gets the message. Good luck.xxxx

 

[lesly001]

Honestly kids see a lot worse on the news everyday. My son is almost 9 and he has been playing COD for 2 years now and me and his dad play it too. All it is is an army game (which boys love), there are some semi graphic parts in it but in reality it's not bad at all compared to the crap on the news. I explained to my son a long time ago that stuff you see in the movies and in games is not real life and it is just made up and he understands that. My son is perfectly normal and doesn't run around talking about killing people and crap like that.

 

[Foogirl]

I thought it was all a load of bluster until I watched Jo Frost's programme about it. I was horrified at the effect these games seem to have on children.

Apart from the problems of seeing stuff their young minds can't really deal with, the children who had played just 20 minutes of violent video games seemed to become emotionally closed off and less empathetic / sympathetic to those around them. Interestingly, seeing other forms of violence on the news etc, seemed not to have the same effect.

You won't ever stop him playing them if his own mother thinks it is ok, but you absolutely can stop him doing it or talking about it in your own house. It might even have an impact if you deal with it by saying you don't want to hear about those sorts of things as they aren't nice and aren't fun.

 

[Amarna]

I personally wouldn't allow a young child to play a game like that in my house. I babysat a 5 year old once and his father would play Call of Duty with him I didn't notice any difference between him and other kids his age to be honest though. He wasn't emotionally scarred or "closed off". I don't think I'd bring it up with the mother with this in mind, it's really no one's business but her own and as long as the children don't develop problems as a result there's no harm imo. There's nothing wrong however with you expressing your dislike of the topic when it comes up, don't allow it to be discussed or played at your house, that's about all you should do I think.

 

[Inge]

I had the same issue with my ss. He was watching movies/playing games rated as high as 18. I also have my suspicions bio mom bought him one especially because i had expressed to oh how violent and nasty it was and how i was concerned for him.

Needless to say he began to suffer behavioral/ sleep problems as a result.

Funnily enough these problems stopped when bio mom banned games or movies rated higher than his age. So yes i think ratings should be stuck to for the childs sake. But i know the feeling of nobody listens to the stepmom until its too late, all too well. Stick to your guns at yout house, and maybe keep approaching oh with your concerns until he gets the message. Good luck.xxxx

my ss is the same. COD is 18 rated isnt it? OH plays the games first then if theyre not appropriat ehe hides them form ss so he cant play them. also so agreee with that line

 

[julietz]

My twins are 9 and they have it, they know its just a game and not going to go round thinking its ok to shoot people, all there friends have it so they just want to fit in and play with them, they have a guide line age but its rly up to their parents. old days kids use to play army and cops and robbers etc, now days there is not much more of it, as games are taking over so role play isnt like it use to be.

 

[MissMandieMitz]

Urrrgggg!! My DSS is allowed to play and watch just about anything at his mothers house. She doesn't care! As long as the kid leaves her alone is what matters to her! We've only recently started letting DSS (just turned 11!) play rated T games. However, we still don't allow him to watch PG-13 movies. He thinks this is sooooo unfair because everyone else watches them, but it's just not something we're comfortable doing! He's 11!! He doesn't need to hear about how so and so banged so and so on some movie, gross.

ETA: It's not even the violence that's an issue IMO, it's the language that is used. We also don't watch the news if it's something not appropriate (rape, someone being gay, or sex) when DSS is around. He'll grow up sooner than we realize, there's no need for him to have to grow up and hear about these things now.

 

[Vixen_17]

ETA: It's not even the violence that's an issue IMO, it's the language that is used. We also don't watch the news if it's something not appropriate (rape, someone being gay, or sex) when DSS is around. He'll grow up sooner than we realize, there's no need for him to have to grow up and hear about these things now.

You turn off the news if it mentions someone being gay or sex? You group it with rape like you think all 3 are wrong? Apologies if I'm reading the wrong tone in your choice of words.

Obviously I don't know what your child's school is like but if my DS don't know what gay/sex/rape was he'd find out at school (he's 9).

As for the games, my OH plays them first to ascertain whether they're suitable or not. DS plays some war games but also some he's not allowed to play due to the nature of the graphic content. All his friends at school were playing and he felt left out. He was struggling to fit in anyway and since having the xbox and playing online with friends it's really changed the amount of friends he has - for the better.

V

 

[MissMandieMitz]

ETA: It's not even the violence that's an issue IMO, it's the language that is used. We also don't watch the news if it's something not appropriate (rape, someone being gay, or sex) when DSS is around. He'll grow up sooner than we realize, there's no need for him to have to grow up and hear about these things now.

You turn off the news if it mentions someone being gay or sex? You group it with rape like you think all 3 are wrong? Apologies if I'm reading the wrong tone in your choice of words.

Obviously I don't know what your child's school is like but if my DS don't know what gay/sex/rape was he'd find out at school (he's 9).

As for the games, my OH plays them first to ascertain whether they're suitable or not. DS plays some war games but also some he's not allowed to play due to the nature of the graphic content. All his friends at school were playing and he felt left out. He was struggling to fit in anyway and since having the xbox and playing online with friends it's really changed the amount of friends he has - for the better.

V

I never said that they were wrong or that he doesn't know about them. I just don't think they're appropriate topics to sit around and watch together as a family.

 

[Vixen_17]

OK, no worries. We don't go out of our way to find these sorts of subjects but also desperately try not to shy away from them. I try to make my son feel that he can ask anything he wants about any subject - nothing is taboo.

V