visiting on birthdays

[LTEx]

hi girls

Just wondering what everybodys views are on FOB taking LO on his birthday? FOB has just recently started seeing him regularly after alot of hassle! We're not on talkin terms as he has to go through a family member to arrange access but i'm just wondering if anyone agrees with me

He sees him once a week usually & has had him for 2 weekends in 2 & a half years so he's not consistant. He said when LO was newborn that he would be more involved when he's a toddler as he wont be as bored :/

Anyway, im not allowing FOB to have LO on his birthdaym its not for awhile but i believe cos ive been there 24/7 he should be with his mam on his birthday. I have no problem with FOB coming down to see him on the day but i wont allow him to take LO.. Anyone think im being out of order?

 

[dustbunny]

No, you're not being out of order at all. He hasn't put in the time or effort so shouldn't really be expecting to be able to take LO on his birthday. If you want you can invite him down for the afternoon or something and include him that way.

 

[LTEx]

already have done but according to him he cant stand to see me & it would be too awkward shame he cant put that aside like i have to for the sake of LO! I hate his guts but i'd never put that feeling before my child

 

[Crumbsx]

Your not being out of order
As you said, he doesn't put much effort in and to me it seems he sees Jayden whenever it suits him, he wants all the good parts when he's not busy.
I'd just say your welcome to come down for the afternoon to see him, but you have plans with Jayden so he can't just take him. And if he's saying it's too awkward and stuff, just say okay your loss, you won't be seeing him on his birthday then what more can you do, if he isn't mature enough to just spend one afternoon in the same room as you for your sons benefit.

 

[LTEx]

he'd want him to either sleep at his night before then bring him back day after or not see him at all :/ but no way am i spending his birthday without him! I'm his mam for gods sake haha x

 

[Crumbsx]

No, that's not right :l at least your compromising and saying he can see Jayden on the day. Tell him to forget it then and exactly, your his mum and dad tbh!