Want to do something for rememberance for my partner..

bexnsi

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Hi All

Not sure if this is the right place to post this...

Ok so a brief bit of background info...
Before me and the other half got together a year after him and his ex had a baby that unfortunately passed away. He was born at 6 months term, weighed about 2 lbs and unfortunately only survived 5 days to Pneumonia. Now obviously i know this was a big loss for him and his ex and i found out she just up and left him because she couldnt cope with the news and needed to be with her parents. This was her 2nd loss and she found out she couldnt carry.

I'm coming up to 39 weeks pregnant and understand totally that im very lucky to have had a successful pregnancy and i have been very supportive and tried to stay strong for my other half as up until 6 months gone, he was very on edge and held back a lot of thoughts and feelings towards me being pregnant and hoping that things went ok. Now its nearly time he is very nervous and excited....

Now i know when our baby comes everything will be all hands on deck and all eyes and thoughts will be on her but i really want to do something or get something for my other half to remember his little boy too. Is this a good idea? What do you think? Hi mum has recently asked him if its ok to put a photograph in the family frame of him and he said yes so i know he wont mind.

Ive thought about lighting one of those sky lantens when we are on our own and saying a few words maybe? If not, i'm not sure what else i could do..

I'm really sorry if the above sounds insensitive or brief but i really do care about his thoughts and feelings and i don't want him thinking that i don't care about what happened before and i want him to understand that he will always be in our thoughts and that its ok for him to remember his little boy. at this special time too.
Maybe its a bad idea and i should just leave all the thoughts to rest...

Please help.
 
I think it's a lovely thought - I think there are some lovely sites where you can get rememberence items for lost angels - if I find the link I will post it.

Good luck with your very impending birth :flower:

hx
 
brilliant idea hun, is there a grave for his son ? or somewhere special that u could go to, a special ornament, frame etc, perhaps something that could go in ur daughters room that is in memory of her brother, like a star or something if that is something u are comfertable with.

There are so many possibilities, and it all depends on how u want to do it if u know what i mean, i hope u find something that u are happy with and good luck with ur pregnancy x
 
I think it's a lovely thought - I think there are some lovely sites where you can get rememberence items for lost angels - if I find the link I will post it.

Good luck with your very impending birth :flower:

hx

Thanks i'll be interested to see the link as im not sure what i could do other than get an ornament or something like it. I havent seen that many items i could buy if im honest.
 
brilliant idea hun, is there a grave for his son ? or somewhere special that u could go to, a special ornament, frame etc, perhaps something that could go in ur daughters room that is in memory of her brother, like a star or something if that is something u are comfertable with.

There are so many possibilities, and it all depends on how u want to do it if u know what i mean, i hope u find something that u are happy with and good luck with ur pregnancy x
There isnt a grave as such as he was cremated and his ex has his ashes still. This is another reason i want to do something for him. Im happy for anything to be honest cus i know how much it would mean to him.
 
i know some people have planted a tree, or rose bush etc in their babies memory either in there own garden or in special places that are for people to do this, they then go and spend time there, tend it etc and make it special for there baby that way, also u dont need to have his actual ashes iukwim, dont know if that would be any help ??xx
 
I'm not sure what to suggest sorry but maybe if you post this in the stillbirth and neonatal loss forum as well as there are (too many) ladies there that won't be using this forum but they will be happy to offer some advice as while they're not pregnant now many went on to have children after a loss.
Good luck.
xx
 
A planted tree or rosebush is a lovely idea, just the fact you are thinking of his lost child will mean alot. People tend to forget very quickly, they also think a new baby means you don't want to/need to speak/remember the lost baby - and that is so not the case. I am sure you OH will be touched whatever you do.
 
When I lost Isabella my online friends named a star after her and they sent me a lovely commemorative certificate. Maybe you could do that and have framed and put in the babies nursery?
 

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