Was anyone else supposed to have a baby in December? Having a hard time...

[kaysbc]

I'm having a hard time with this month, December. I knew it would happen, but now its suddenly here, and I'm having a really rough go of it.

I was supposed to be having a baby right now! My due date was approx Dec 15. But I'm not having a baby. And it sucks. It sucks a million times more than that fact in some other month, for some reason.

Anyone else having or had a hard time with that? How do you get past "the past" and just move forward?

 

[Poppy14]

Hi Kaysbc, I'm in the same boat, we had an early mc at 8 weeks but I think at any stage it isn't easy, would have been due in December and I'm having a really really extra horrible day today, they come and go but it's always on my mind. One by one all of my friends and my sister have fallen pregnant without even thinking about it and we have been trying since having the mc back in April and it's really killing me. I thought it would have happened again by my original due date but not a hope of that happening now. Have you talked to any professionals about how you are feeling? I haven't but my friends are pushing me to do it but all I can think is why would I want to go talk bout it and feel even more upset. I don't know what I'm going to do, my heart was broken into a million little pieces that day ;( and I'm really dreading Christmas

 

[Savasanna]

I wasn't supposed to have a baby in December, but I was supposed to have one in October. October 11, 2014 - the day that never was. Right around the time of Halloween decorations and pumpkin carving and apple picking. It was.. hard. I have no advice other than to try to be kind to yourself and let yourself feel whatever it is you're feeling. I was super depressed in the week leading up to the 11th, and then pretty numb/ok on the actual day. I think the anticipation of those milestones are sometimes worse than the milestone itself.

In any event.. yes, it sucks. There's nothing you can do or say that will change that or make it easier. I'm so sorry, hun.

 

[GalvanBaby]

My baby would be a year old in Dec. Last year was especially hard, but I tried to look at the happiness of the time. The hardest part was my niece who was just 4 months old last December. I would be 5 months pregnant now too, but I had another loss in August.
I still get really sad, especially when I am in the store and see little Christmas outfits and toys that he or she would be getting this year.
Hopefully, we all will have our little rainbow by next Christmas.

 

[kaysbc]

Oh gals! thank you so much for sharing your stories, I am so sorry for all of your losses too! Today I am not having such a bad day, but it comes and goes and some days are absolutely dreadful. And at any moment really, I can snap.

Poppy I'm hugging you tight for your bad day today! HUGS... I haven't thought about talking to someone before. Maybe its something I should consider. If I think about it, this has caused me some serious, serious depression over these past months. Maybe it does make sense to seek out some counseling or something. But I'm so shy about stuff like that. It is so far out of my comfort zone. I don't know what's right.

Savasanna thanks for your kind words. You made it through October somehow, I'm sure it was terrible. But you're proof we will all make it.

Galvan aren't the little clothes the worst! I get so sad when I see kid stuff now. Everyone around me is buying their kids toys and stuff. I remember everyone being so excited for me that I'd have "a Christmas baby" and thinking about all the little things I could do, like get a nice little baby ornament for the tree etc. Seeing it all brings it all back.

No matter what month it happened to us, there will always be something that reminds us every year. The pumpkins, the apples, the Christmas gifts....

 

[GalvanBaby]

Exactly, this year has been horrible for me. Easter, Summer, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and now Christmas and what would have been birthday. We will have good days and bad days. When we finally get our rainbow baby, we will stress and worry the entire pregnancy too. I am sure God will send us our rainbow baby one day though.

 

[nessaw]

I'm getting married in 2 weeks. If things had worked out I should have had an 18th month old or 6 month old twins or be 6 months pg. Am trying very hard not to think about what should have been. Last yr we told people about the twins on xmas day.
Am sorry for all your losses and sending big hugs for this difficult time. X

 

[kaysbc]

thanks for your hugs nessaw. hugs back to you!

galvan what a horrible year.

~wishing all of you the best of luck and your rainbow baby soon~

 

[pink_phoenix]

i was ment to be due nov 20th but fate intervined
it was a hard time, id looked up on ways to comemerate on the date and chose a chinese flying lanturn for me and my OH to release but when it came down to it i just couldnt, im not ready to let go, doubt i ever will be.
its still sat in the living room looking at me
i got pregnant quite quick afterwards and the 1st thing i felt was guilt
i dont know if ill ever use the lanturn, for now its just a painfull reminder of what a year we have had

 

[kaysbc]

thanks for sharing pink phoenix. Coincidentally I've recently purchased a bunch of chinese wish lanterns, was planning on using them for my mom's upcoming birthday party. I actually like the idea of using a lantern for my lost little one (separetely from my moms celebration of course). I totally understand the pain and the fact you may never use your lantern. It may be a very long time, and maybe never, to be able to move on. The feelings of guilt with your new pregnancy brings a tear to my eye. Best of luck to you.

 

[mera.mera]

I was supposed to have my baby after 3 months ... so hard

 

[aidensxmomma]

December is also a hard time for me. I lost my daughter to SIDS when she was 3 1/2 months old and December 29th is her birthday. She would be turning 3 this year. It's hard this time of year and it has been since I lost her. I have good days and I have bad days and December seems to bring more bad days than good. I'm now TTC my rainbow and feel a little guilty, even after all this time.

I'm so sorry for everyone's losses. Soon we will all have our rainbows in our arms

 

[GalvanBaby]

Aidensxmomma. I pray we do get our rainbow babies very soon as well!

 

[kaysbc]

best wishes to you aidensxmomma and meramera.

 

[sil]

My angel baby's due date was actually my DS's birthday. When I was still pregnant with my angel, we would joke about them having the same birthday. Sometimes I'm worried that his birthday will now be tainted forever :/ I am now pregnant again with my rainbow, but it still doesn't make it any less hard when I think about when my angel was due.

Good luck ladies, I hope you all get your rainbows soon too

 

[Bug222]

Yep - due date for my second angel is tomorrow dec 18 (so really in about 5 mins) Can't sleep cause I can't sot crying and imagining what should have been. A friend and I both mc at the beginning of feb, then both got a BFP in March- we were so excited to both be getting our Christmas miracles. She had her baby two days ago, I MC again. I'm still not pregnant and am beginning to doubt I ever will be again.

 

[claudinator]

Yep - due date for my second angel is tomorrow dec 18 (so really in about 5 mins) Can't sleep cause I can't sot crying and imagining what should have been. A friend and I both mc at the beginning of feb, then both got a BFP in March- we were so excited to both be getting our Christmas miracles. She had her baby two days ago. I'm still not pregnant and am beginning to doubt I ever will be again.

bug
I keep saying I should be 7months. And I'm finding it hard. Very hard.

 

[LoolaXx]

Bless you hun It's something TOO many of us know the feeling of. My mmc was in 2012 but I was due December 23rd, so every Christmas is painful really although I try not to show it. It does get easier within time but until we do have a rainbow baby to spoil at Christmas, it will always hurt!

 

[LoolaXx]

December is also a hard time for me. I lost my daughter to SIDS when she was 3 1/2 months old and December 29th is her birthday. She would be turning 3 this year. It's hard this time of year and it has been since I lost her. I have good days and I have bad days and December seems to bring more bad days than good. I'm now TTC my rainbow and feel a little guilty, even after all this time.

I'm so sorry for everyone's losses. Soon we will all have our rainbows in our arms

Oh my gosh, I'm nearly in tears over here just imaging what you've been through. What a brave lady you are, god bless you i'm honestly so so sorry I'm sure she is the brightest star in the sky watching over you and I agree we will all have our rainbows in our arms soon. Our times are near! X