was I right to complain?

[ebannawuoyohw]

Can you ladies please share with me what your midwife goes through when she sees you ?

I had my 36 week appointment the other day which was a bit early but I wasnt worried about that. Basically ive just had enough.

I saw her at 28 weeks and said about the pain under my ribs, she told me it was indegestion but only after I badgered her about it as at first she just looked right through me and said nothing. I ended up in hospital with this pain it became unbearable and was obvisouly NOT indegestion.

At 32 weeks I said I think I have spd and explained the pains but said its bearable and ive read pelvic floor exercises are meant to help? She just said simply 'yes'.
When I looked in my notes she had written that I am experiencing pelvic pain and that she offered me physio to which I declined! She then said she went through self help techniques with me!
Pure lies...

Anyway I had the hump with her for all that and the fact if I mention anything shed never say a word for example itching or something, no explanation, no oh use this cream or that, just nothing. AND every time we go to listen to the heartbeat she asks if I want to. To me this is like saying if you dont no worries you can just go now. BUT surely she should just do it as how would she know what position baby is in? Or if im measuring ahead or behind?

The final straw was that at the 36 week appointment, (which was early so 35+3) which is fine but get this... Your supposed to see them at 38 and then 40 to check babys position and your measurements as the end of your pregnancy is when you are more likely to get pre eclamsia or something. Well she made my next appointment for 9th may! Thats FOUR days before my due date. So in total I wouldnt have seen her for four weeks! When I should have seen her twice pretty much.

So I phoned up and complained. I decided I would like to feel like im being looked after and getting at least what were supposed to and not anything left. They arw fine and are allocating me a new midwife but the woman on the phone said ooohh no ones ever complained about her before, im suprised! That really annoyed me.

So did I over react or not?

 

[AdriansMama]

I dont think so at all ! I would have been very mad ... my ob checks fundal height , heartbeat, blood pressure,and feels for babys postition at every appointment I have. He diagnosed me with sciatica a month or so ago and talked to me about all the ways I can safely deal with any pain and discomfort. I am going in every 2 weeks now and starting at 36 or 37 weeks will be going every week so I think not seeing her for 4 weeks right at the end is crazy ! You had every right to complain and I hope your new midwife is more caring with better bedside manor

 

[MrsGards]

no absolutely not. My MW appointments are early like yours but I go in, we have a chat about how I am, how my dd is, how my husband is as hes nervous of having a home birth. We then do BP, bloods if necessary, i hop up onto the couch and she does fundal measurements, feels baby, lets my dd use the doppler and have a feel and then she asks if i have any questions, worries, concerns or anything and is very understanding, attentive and confident in her answers.
If I had a MW that I wasnt 100% happy with, id change immediately, its so important that you feel your being looked after properly and you have complete confidence in them. For the fact she is lying and disregarding anything you are putting towards her says she is not the midwife for you, and probably shouldnt be a midwife with huge responsibilities at all in all honesty. I think you were completely justified in what you did. Hopefully your new MW will be a billion times better.

 

[Mum2BKW]

Oh dear, I would have complained too!

We are looked after by a team of midwives so I've actually never seen the same midwife twice, but so far there has only been one who annoyed me. She was very blunt and I would have asked to change had I not known that she was covering for someone else and I would probably never see her again anyway.

I hope your new midwife is a lot more caring and that you feel well looked after from now on

 

[Eleanor ace]

I'd definitely have complained- the fact she wrote in your notes that she'd offered you physio show she knows she SHOULD have done- so why didn't she?? It sounds as though she really isn't providing you with adequate care so I would absolutely complain in your position.

 

[laceyinthesky]

I don't blame you at all!

 

[ChelliBelle]

No, I too definately think you had a right to complain.
My mindwife checks BP, HB, position etc each and every time- and we have a chat about how things are going.
She is very quiet my midwife, but anytime i ask her something she tries to help, and when i mentioned having pain on early pregnancy in my groin, she arranged for me to see the physio.

You did right, you deserve to have someone that shows an interest!

 

[cupcakekate]

No I think you were right to complain! I can't believe the cheek of her writing in your notes pure lies!! Hope you get someone alot more competent!xx

 

[summer rain]

You were totally right to complain. I have experienced health professionals lying in my notes (or my children's) before as well and it really boils my blood. Like with my second youngest he had problems gaining weight and digestive problems and I said I thought it was an allergy problem and I wanted him to be referred, the HV said no its probably just my milk has suddenly dried up and she wanted me to switch to exclusively expressing or to formula. I couldn't even bear to look at his red book but I did read what she wrote a couple of years later. Silly cow had written 'likely to be an allergy problem as sibling has severe dairy allergy, referral to dietician recommended to GP' along with loads of other stuff that I said but she dismissed out of hand she never spoke to my GP either! Also last year I nearly died due to quinsy I was really really ill. The day before having to go to a&e when I was just as ill I saw a locum GP at my local surgery, she said it looked like a mild viral infection and told me to get a numbing spray (I couldn't breathe not swallow even tiny sips of water and my voice was barely audible!). I did complain to the practice manager and this locum lied through her teeth and wrote loads of rubbish in my notes about my visit saying my throat wasn't even swollen I hadn't mentioned any breathing or swallowing difficulties and my voice didn't sound that bad when I could barely speak so I must've suddenly got worse overnight. Thankfully she was gone from the surgery very soon after that xx

 

[NurseSooz]

I plan to complain after I give birth. My care hasn't been consistent and last time I met my "named midwife" she could remember who I was. I've tried to talk about my terror of getting PND and my low mood throughout pregnancy. They've occasionally noted " PND discussed" but they have never talked me through coping mechanisms or given me info or support. I've never felt that my midwives were interested. I even mentioned other concerns such as bladder pain to which most just shrugged. It was eventually one midwife that suggested I try an SPD belt. I don't blame you at all. I feel really let down. Initially I looked forward to my midwife appts but now I just treat them as a "must".

 

[summer rain]

As an experienced mum I like the fact the local midwives are pretty hands off with me personally and they trust me to report any issues to them and they don't chase stuff up, but if I was a first or second time mum or had any other health concerns during my pregnancy I wouldn't like it at all and I would definitely expect more xx

 

[Rozz1e1]

I wish I had spoken to the community office about my mw...but with 2 nd half weeks to go i dont know what it will achieve...iv said before how im unhapoy with frequency of visits...this is my first pg to get this far and is deemed high risk and im consultant led...but never had cons appt. I should be seeing my mw weekly now im full term but i went from 32-36 weeks no mw appt then had mw appt last week and she has booked my next appt in when ill b 39 weeks pg! My mw hadnt spoken to me about birthing options, nothing...not even whether i want placenta injection, nothing like that...iv had to find it out elsewhere. She gives me less than ten mins each time and altho she is lovely and very nice she is just so busy that i cant discuss with her issues i have...I dont blame you for complaining huni xxxx

 

[Nic64]

I would of complained! But on the 4 weeks til ur next appointment I have to book my 38 week appointment with the doctor not a midwife! Not sure if this is the case with u?! I started my care in Cheshire and all my appointments were with midwife and everything was on computer but now am in Oxford quite a few appointments would have been with the doctor and all the notes are hand written! Xx

 

[Annie77]

In my area there are guidelines on how often you are seen and so it is not up to midwife clinical reasoning when your appts are. Saying that, my midwife has given me extra appts when required due to anaemia and polyamnios.

With first babies I am pretty sure you are seen weekly from 36 weeks. I saw my midwife at 28 weeks and shouldn't have seen her til 34 weeks. However due to measuring big she saw me again at 32 weeks so will now see me at 36 weeks. I am meeting obstetrician for csection planning on 30th April (35 weeks).

I am a healthcare worker and I think you did the right thing to complain - she cold actually be struck off the register for writing dishonest notes.

 

[ebannawuoyohw]

Thanks ladies, I dont think she will be struck off the matron who phoned me said her name in suprise like they were best mates or something. I bet nothing is said and they just change my midwife. Its wrong though if they dont because she honestly seems so dim and you wonder how she ever became a midwife! Im not a genius but im not thick, far from it and ive practically been my own midwife! Over here they are meant to see us every 4 weeks until 36 weeks then its every 2. Whether you are high risk or not. But saying that I am high risk with group strep b and my mothers history of fast labours. She doesnt know about the history of course because shes never friggin asked! AND my main concern is baby is usually head down for visits but he does come right out and turn round a lot so if his position isnt being monitored like it should maybe id need an ECV BUT shes not seeing me till 4 days before my due date which in my eyes puts me at risk of giving birth breech which can harm my babys hips for the rest of his life which I will not have. Ive definitely done the right thing. It just saddens me, what if I didnt have the forsight you know, what if some other lady is just oblivious and it happens to them or uneccessary discomfort their whole pregnancy. She needs to do her job properly x

 

[flubdub]

You were right to complain, but I would put it in writing too. A letter is much less likely to be shrugged off than a phonecall.

she sounds awful.