todteach
Dreams can come true
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One year ago today, we had our first miscarriage. My husband was away for the morning with a friend. I was at home still sleeping when he left. After dragging my sorry tired behind out of bed, I realized that I was starting to spot. Worried, I called my mom, who told me that some women bleed during their pregnancies, and that I would be alright. That's all that I needed.........a little bit of reassurance. Later the dark brown blood turned into cramping, still not too too worried I curled up on the couch, called my husband who told me that he would be home soon. I didn't tell him that I was spotting or cramping, just wanted him to have a nice morning out fishing, but was worried when he would be home. When he got home, I told him what was happening (through tears). He thought maybe we should go to the hospital.........I didn't: who wants to be in the emergency room during a long weekend. And I was only spotting and cramping, they would just send me home, right? Finally, he convinced me to go. I made one last trip to the bathroom, before leaving.........and starting bleeding bright red blood. It was a long trip to the hospital.
We were told that twenty five percent of pregnancies result in miscarriage, not very reassuring for first time nieve parents?!?! The doctor couldn't find a heartbeat on the doppler, couldn't find a heartbeat through ultrasound either, she told me that she is inexperienced on the ultrasound equipment and that could be why she couldn't find anything..............We were told to go home, baby is probably okay, but if I bleed through a pad an hour, then to come back. We went home and had dinner. Not put at ease, we decided to go to the city, where they have full staff on at the hospital (not like the small town where we had been). Spent the rest of the weekend there. The staff there were wonderful with us, considering the outcome. My blood was checked, and bhcg was reading quite low, to where I was in my pregnancy, we had an ultrasound to confirm miscarriage, then our first d&c. What a heartwrenching weekend. I was to have a beautiful baby last November, instead just an empty, raw feeling and left cold to the world.
My first miscarriage was the most difficult to go through, that's where we lost all of our innocence. We have since gotten pregnant again resulting in another miscarriage, and now are going through fertility testing to find out why my body can't stay pregnant. We have also attended group therapy with others who have lost through miscarriage and I have you wonderful ladies here. I hope that three times will be a charm, when we get there.
I would also like to add, how helpful this forum has been for me. It has been a godsend. Helped me through a lot of grief and hard, raw feelings. Everyone here is so wonderful and thoughtful. Don't know where I would be without you?!? Probably curled up in a ball somewhere crying?!? I have come such a long, long way in a year. Hopefully I will get exactly to where I want to be some day soon, with a baby in my arms. Thanks girls.
We were told that twenty five percent of pregnancies result in miscarriage, not very reassuring for first time nieve parents?!?! The doctor couldn't find a heartbeat on the doppler, couldn't find a heartbeat through ultrasound either, she told me that she is inexperienced on the ultrasound equipment and that could be why she couldn't find anything..............We were told to go home, baby is probably okay, but if I bleed through a pad an hour, then to come back. We went home and had dinner. Not put at ease, we decided to go to the city, where they have full staff on at the hospital (not like the small town where we had been). Spent the rest of the weekend there. The staff there were wonderful with us, considering the outcome. My blood was checked, and bhcg was reading quite low, to where I was in my pregnancy, we had an ultrasound to confirm miscarriage, then our first d&c. What a heartwrenching weekend. I was to have a beautiful baby last November, instead just an empty, raw feeling and left cold to the world.
My first miscarriage was the most difficult to go through, that's where we lost all of our innocence. We have since gotten pregnant again resulting in another miscarriage, and now are going through fertility testing to find out why my body can't stay pregnant. We have also attended group therapy with others who have lost through miscarriage and I have you wonderful ladies here. I hope that three times will be a charm, when we get there.
I would also like to add, how helpful this forum has been for me. It has been a godsend. Helped me through a lot of grief and hard, raw feelings. Everyone here is so wonderful and thoughtful. Don't know where I would be without you?!? Probably curled up in a ball somewhere crying?!? I have come such a long, long way in a year. Hopefully I will get exactly to where I want to be some day soon, with a baby in my arms. Thanks girls.
todteach 
