weaning nighttime feeds?

[gingmg]

How did you go about it and how old was your LO when you did? Or do you continue to feed multiple times a night? I have no idea if LO is waking to eat at this point (4.5months) because he is truly hungry or because he is a crap sleeper and knows I will feed him? My friends with BF babies are sleeping better than mine is at this point and I wonder if I try to drop one feed if he will start sleeping longer eventually?

 

[RaspberryK]

I definitely wouldn't do it before 6 months, if they wake up and have a decent feed then they obviously need it, if they just have a little bit it's probably thirst. I personally didn't ever do night weaning if he woke up after we stopped breastfeeding at 13 months I would offer water or milk on night wakings and now he's older he takes water up with him.
I always think of it that if I wake up in the night then I would get myself a drink and if I happened to be hungry I'd get something to eat so why should a baby be any different?
Xx

 

[gingmg]

Yea I hear what you are saying. I do feel that way too to some extent. But I also think he isn't always waking up to eat, he just wakes up and then expects to nurse to go back to sleep. I'm trying to sort out how many times he actually needs to eat. I don't mind feeding him at night but the problem is that I work nights 3 times a week and my partner has a harder time getting up at night. Im trying to do what I can to establish sleep and nighttime eating habits that we all are comfortable and happy with if that makes any sense. My wife has pretty bad nights when I'm at work and I think it would help her out tremendously if I don't nurse as much over night when I'm home.

 

[RaspberryK]

Does baby take a bottle at night when you aren't there? Xx

 

[gingmg]

Yes. He takes a bottle just fine. He usually takes 2-3 bottles while i am gone, but she breaks it up into a few sessions for each bottle. It seems that he just wants to drink to go back to sleep. On a good night he only eats twice (but that's rare) so I know he can do it. She doesn't handle the sleep deprivation as well as I do so I guess I'm just trying to gently move him into a better nighttime pattern so that she doesn't loose it in a couple more months and advocate for crying it out. I guess he will just get there when he is ready. I'm thinking of trying to drop the 3 am feed and just cuddle him back to sleep to see if it helps him eventually not wake up then. Of coarse I'm going to feed him if he really seems hungry but I think I need to not always rush to the boob just because its the easiest. If I didn't work at night a few times a week I don't think I would care so much. Thanks for responding, I think I just needed to talk it out.

 

[RaspberryK]

It's really hard knowing what's the best option, he might grow out of it pretty soon or he might not.
What do you think about doing a dream feed before you go to bed? Xx

 

[gingmg]

That's a good idea. Thanks!

 

[RaspberryK]

Worth a shot xx

 

[luna_19]

Babies nurse through the night for many reasons not just hunger, it is not recommended to night wean until minimum 12 months but ideally 18 months at the earliest. You are entering a time.period where babies are often distracted during the day so make up their feeds at night. These night feeds won' t last forever, my 17 month old only nurses 1-2 times per night and really quick, maybe a minute and that is with no attempts to night wean from me

 

[gingmg]

I'm all talk anyway- I fed him anytime he woke up.

Just to play devils advocate- many doctors say they don't need to eat at night and that they wake up out of habit if they know you will feed them. I don't want to start an argument or anything- I'm just trying to be fair to both baby and my wife. I'd like his nights to be more consistent then they are now. Its not fair to him that some nights are one way and some are another way.

But like I said- I'm all talk anyway- I fed him every time he woke up last night. Thanks for your responses and input.

 

[Itsychik]

My DD is almost 13 months and has started waking MORE at night instead of less! Sometimes 3 - 4 times a night (every 3 hours!)

I recently posted a similar thread asking for advice on getting my baby to STTN and without the night feeds.... but I don't have any suggestions for you, sorry! Just wanted to say I totally feel your pain!

 

[Lemonade]

Could you offer a bottle at night instead of the breast? Maybe if he really is hungry, he will take the bottle? Then at least you know. I tried this with my LO (I fed her the first time she woke up, then the second time I offered a bottle) and she didn't want anything to do with the bottle and fell back asleep. Then I chickened out the next night because I had felt really full all day after missing the middle of the night feed lol.

 

[gingmg]

OMG, they actually had a semi decent night last night! He slept from 7pm (with the usual 20 minute wake ups until he finally reached a deep sleep at 8:30) to 3 am!! Granted he was awake crying for awhile at 3am but my wife brought him into bed, he had a bottle and eventually went back to sleep. He never sleeps until 3 am for me! Ive usually already fed him twice by 3am. I usually put him to bed before I leave for work, but maybe since she put him to bed he knew who he was getting overnight? He only took that one bottle while I was gone so I guess he doesn't really need to eat as often as I feed him- its probably more for comfort. I totally don't mind feeding him for comfort overnight as long as it doesn't make my wife's nights harder. Maybe they are starting to get into their own rhythm?
Not sure what the point of my post is. Just happy that they may have turned a corner. Thanks for reading.

 

[misspriss]

DS reverse cycled when I went back to work, from 3 months until 1 year at least, he got most of his milk in night feeds, I would have never cut them out then. He still wakes to nurse during the night at 2, even though its dry nursing or a bit of colostrum now. I have not tried to take it away from him as it is a comfort thing and we cosleep so it isn't a big deal for me most nights.

 

[RaspberryK]

That's really positive and that's a good idea xx

 

[pootle33]

My son has had 3 nights over the last week where he didn't wake at all between 7pm and 6am and he just turned 7 months and eating 3 food meals a day as well as about 1.5/2 hours BF. Until this I have been feeding twice a night. I am just following his lead.

 

[gingmg]

I spoke too soon. They are back to awful nights again. I don't know how to make any of this better for either one of them. I got a series of text messages at work last night about how he was awake and crying and she couldn't settle him. And it went on for hours. It breaks my heart that I have to work and I can't be there for him (or her). This sucks. I wish I could just be home every night, but I support us and this is the job I have. Ugh. I feel like its all my fault. We co-sleep most nights (well I put him in the crib at first but by 12 am or so he is in our bed) and when he stirs and is fussy I give him the boob. It works like a charm and that's why I think he falls apart on my nights at work. I was hoping he would learn to be somewhat flexible and learn to settle a different way for her. This is so hard.

 

[gingmg]

.

 

[gingmg]

I feel really bad now that I even considered not feeding him overnight. I just felt desperate to move them into a better nighttime pattern. Its gotten a lot better for my wife this last week so hopefully we are on the upswing now. She doesn't care that he wakes up, its that he was finding zero comfort from her and would cry for hours. We have been working on the crib for at least half of the night now instead of co-sleeping almost fulltime which I think has helped. He is slowly starting to find comfort with her and realize that we each comfort him different ways. It's a process I guess. She was just at her wits end recently and I felt desperate to do anything to help him in fear she would let him cry. I know now she wouldn't do that, she was just tired and wasn't handling it well and saying things she really didnt mean out of sheer frustration. Thanks to everyone who responded.

 

[RaspberryK]

hopefully things will continue to improve xx