Well it's happened.

[Moulder86]

I was stupid enough to think he would stick to his word and stand by me, be a dad and be there when I have the baby.

He's now decided that it isn't right, he's not going to be there and said he'd probably only see us once a week. So he's not going to be on the birth cert and bubs will be Moulder not Flynn and it will be me who chooses bubs 1st name.

I'm in a complete state now and feel so lost. I don't know what to do or think or how the hell I'm going to cope with this all on my own!

xx

 

[sam's mum]

I'm so sorry he's decided he doesn't want to be there, but he's the one who's missing out and will regret his decision. It might not feel like it at the moment, but you are strong enough to do this on your own and be a fantastic mum, and if that's the way he's going to be you are probably better off without his help.

Do you have family or friends who live near you? x

 

[Moulder86]

Yeah at the moment I'm having to live at home (sharing a room with my sister) untill I can sort something else out. I have friends around too but most of them I know will only be around for a certain amount of time and get bored.

It's just hard thinking of having to do this all without him being around, going through labour without him being around. Being horrible and thinking have I made the right decision to keep bubs or is this going to go horribly wrong!

xx

 

[sam's mum]

I'm sure your family and friends will be happy to help out as much as you need them to...can you take your sister or a friend to the hospital when you give birth? My sister came in half way through my labour when OH was asleep with his feet up on the birthing ball and she was great!

You're not being horrible at all wondering about your decision...I know I can't really imagine how scary it must be thinking of doing it on your own once bubs is born, but I was terrified of not being a good mum, not knowing what I was doing or how to cope, and I think a lot of that was just because I didn't know what to expect - once Sam was home I realised that I wasn't as clueless as I thought I'd be, and you pick stuff up so quickly. Remember you've always got everyone here for support with everything. You'll be great, don't worry x

 

[welshcakes79]

1) first off
2) secondly, sweetheart you are strong, youve made a baby and cared for bubs for last 8months by changing your lifestyle... this little one is lucky to have you because your so concerned about them and their not born yet, which shows you'll cope
3) third, think of how you'll have babba ALL to yourself, no one to moan your not doing this and that and youll be bale to give babba every second of your time because you wont be running round after a man...

plus your have us xxx

 

[sam's mum]

3) third, think of how you'll have babba ALL to yourself, no one to moan your not doing this and that and youll be bale to give babba every second of your time because you wont be running round after a man...

Such a good point! Nobody to tell you that they know better and that you're doing things wrong x

 

[Moulder86]

Thank you girls, I hope ur right. I'm sure my parents and other friends with kids will take delight in telling me I'm not doing things right!

I did think about asking my mum about coming to the hospital with me just feel a bit awkward because we're not that close. And I would have to be careful about who I ask friend wise without worrying I'm upsetting someone......it's stupid wish I could just go to sleep tonight and wake up when everythings done and things are better.

xx

 

[nikky0907]

If he is that kind of person,the kind that just walks out and refuses to help you out in taking care of his baby then you are better off without him!

That is truly truly low! Your baby doesn't need a father like that especially when it has a mother so wonderful as you...

Plus he can't just decide that,you can go to court and get him to pay child support AND if it means that much to you you can get him to sign the birth certificate.This is not just HIS decision,it's not something he just decides...it's serious,he made a child and this is going to affect his life wether he likes it or not...

 

[sam's mum]

Thank you girls, I hope ur right. I'm sure my parents and other friends with kids will take delight in telling me I'm not doing things right!

I did think about asking my mum about coming to the hospital with me just feel a bit awkward because we're not that close. And I would have to be careful about who I ask friend wise without worrying I'm upsetting someone......it's stupid wish I could just go to sleep tonight and wake up when everythings done and things are better.

xx

At least you can tell people to let you do things your way with your baby, however much they want to interfere!

When I was in hospital I pretty much ignored my OH anyway (not intentionally - just had other things to focus on! Think I would have ended up yelling at him!!) but the midwives were amazing and I honestly think if I'd been there on my own I wouldn't have felt alone at all. Maybe you could take your mum or sister along just for company in the earlier stages and ask them to wait outside towards the end when you'll have lots of people around you and encouraging you anyway. And you know we'll all be sitting here thinking of you and desperate for news so you're not alone! You'll do great, honestly x x

 

[Mynxie]

Sweetie, you and your little one are better off without him, - and it's better that it happens before baby is here so that, in the nicest possible way, he only messes with your head and not your baby's - imagine having to cope by yourself with a 3 year old asking you "why does Daddy not love me anymore, Mummy?"

I know it's really hard at the moment for you and I can't begin to imagine how you must feel.

Most men can be a father....only someone special can be a Daddy.

Thinking of you

 

[ladymilly]

you poor thing. your better off without him hun. you'll be a fab mum

 

[~ Vicky ~]

First off you CAN do this on your own. I've had my serious doubts about me doing it, but i'm determined i'm not going to let Daddy mess up with my baby's life and that's how you need to think too. He's a lowlife.. I know it hurts to hear it now but he is.

Again, as much as it hurts its better for your beautiful baby that he's shown his true colours now. Saves heartache for the baby later.

In a way i'm glad my baby's dad isn't going to be at the birth, because even though he put her there, he doesn't deserve to witness such a beautiful thing and i'd probably throttle him anyway.

Chin up love, you can do this, I know you can. Your baby is going to love you so much, and they'll always turn to you for comfort not their Dad. You can't put a price on that no matter how much it sucks. You've given him a chance and he's blown it.

 

[loulou83]

Truth be told as a single parent myself I think it's sometimes easier doing it on your own. You don't have all the conflict with the other person and you can do exactly what you want. Yeah it'd be nice to share the burden with somebody I suppose but you don't have to deal with them moaning and fact is the majority of it gets left to the woman usually anyways!

 

[demonmadcat]

my birthing people are gonna be my sister in law, and my best friend.

ex OH wants to be there.. I told him I'd prefer people I liked, and people who were gonna be of use to me... he'll still be in the hospital, just not in at the birth...

you'll be fine.. as everyone's already said, at least you can deal with it now, and not a little further down the line...