What am I doing wrong - another sleep thread

[BrandyBestPal]

My 6 week old only goes 3hr stretches through the night. Usually this isn't a problem, as I can feed her and change her and have her back to sleep within 30min.
Last night, though, was horrible. She woke at 100am and didn't get back to sleep until 330am. And would cry if she wasn't being held or entertained.
I feel like a failure because my MIL always reminds me that her boys STTN at 6 weeks. And I get good intentioned advice from friends "keep her up during the day", "is she gassy?", etc... All things I'm aware of and check for.
I know it's too early to sleep train, but I just feel like I am doing something wrong

 

[tonibzac]

Ignore the advice!! I've been told they have growth spurts every three weeks until four months so sounds like your baby has read the book!! E had a few unsettled nights around 6 weeks and then settled straight back to 3-4 hours so don't beat yourself up!! Also I don't change her nappy unless she has pooped so I don't fully wake her up which helps her drop into deeper sleep quickly xx

 

[LDC]

My LO still doesn't sttn at 11 weeks!

What happened with other children doesn't mean that it's the same for them all...my MIL says I should t breast feed as LO won't take a bottle and she don't have that problem with her formula fed babies. As you say advice is well intentioned but a lot of the time you just want to tell them to shove it!

You're doing great with your LO, 6 weeks is so young it's unlikely that they'll have a sleep pattern so please don't worry or feel bad. You're doing great and it will definitely get better and easier.

Hang in there!

Also very good advice about the no nappy change...I do this and it does work

Xx

 

[Noelle610]

You are doing nothing wrong. At a month old, a baby is going to have weird nights. Hell, at 9 months old my kid has off nights and she sleeps great! If LO is normally waking every 3 hours, eating, and going back to sleep you are very lucky.

Don't listen to your MIL. For a number of reasons. I got some good advice to never take parenting advice (in particular, criticisms) from anyone with a kid over the of 4, since they have likely forgetten how hard it was. Also, when my LO was 6 weeks old I felt like EVERY BABY I KNEW was sleeping through. Looking back, it wasn't true.. But my vision was clouded because I was so focused on it. Check out this hilarious thread from yours truly:

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/baby-club/1099951-baby-not-sttn.html

Also, a 6 week old baby sleeping through the night is not a gaurantee of things to come. There's still plenty of time for sleep regressions, teething, illness and developmental milestones to mess it up

 

[babykate]

hi,

i'm sorry you're feeling down, it seems like every week i feel this way about my 9 month old since he was born (not eating enough, not sleeping enough, doesn't have routine). This is usually my mother in law's doing.

I found that co-sleeping is what helped my baby sleep know the difference between night and day. I never changed his diaper as another poster said, and I had him sleep next to me and whenever he started waking up, i offered him my breast and he nursed back to sleep. At 1 month, he was sleeping from 9-3, then nagging a little for the boob, and going right back to sleep until 7 or 8. The only problem is that it gets the baby dependent on feeding to sleep, which will be a problem when their sleep patterns change at 4 months. They will start sleeping lightly and waking up every few hours. I continued with this system til 8 months (was easier than putting him in a crib and getting up every 2 hours). At 8 months we let him CIO and hes never cried for more than 10 minutes, and now sleeps 8:30-5, wakes for 4 oz of formula and back to sleep til 8:30.

some babies sleep better than others, don't blame yourself. just play a lot with them during the day, keep a quiet dark room at night and open the curtains and play music during the day so that baby feels the difference.

 

[lhancock90]

Ignore your MIL.
Babies are all different and totally unpredictable.
You are doing amazingly. Keep calm and carry on.


xxx

 

[BrandyBestPal]

Thanks for the encouraging words, ladies!
Just what I needed to start my day

 

[ElmaWG]

My mom always tells me that my sis and I slept like angels. But back then babies slept on their tummies, and little babies are so much so snug and secure on their tummies. That's my 2 cents on that.

I haven't read the other responses....but are you swaddling? If not, this is the best advice I could give you for getting better sleep. DS never once slept more that 2 hours until we started swaddling at 4 weeks. With swaddling he immediately started sleeping 3 hour stretches every night (felt like a huge improvement). By 6 weeks he was starting to sleep 4-5 hours at night.

Also, are you using white noise? That can be so useful. I downloaded a free app on my ipod that makes a rain noise, and we've been using this for ever nap and night sleep for months.

 

[BrandyBestPal]

My mom always tells me that my sis and I slept like angels. But back then babies slept on their tummies, and little babies are so much so snug and secure on their tummies. That's my 2 cents on that.

I haven't read the other responses....but are you swaddling? If not, this is the best advice I could give you for getting better sleep. DS never once slept more that 2 hours until we started swaddling at 4 weeks. With swaddling he immediately started sleeping 3 hour stretches every night (felt like a huge improvement). By 6 weeks he was starting to sleep 4-5 hours at night.

Also, are you using white noise? That can be so useful. I downloaded a free app on my ipod that makes a rain noise, and we've been using this for ever nap and night sleep for months.

Thanks for the advice - yes to the white noise and yes/no to the swaddling. Sometimes I loosely swaddle her. I will try wrapping her more tightly and see if there is any improvement

And I don't always change her diaper - but sometimes I find it hard to tell whether she pooed or not - so I'll change her just in case! (I'm worried about her getting diaper rash if I don't change her)

 

[ElmaWG]

My little guy would cry and sometimes fight the swaddle, but it definitely helped him feel more secure and sleep better. Arms at the side and pretty tight (so they don't get out).

We stopped changer diapers in the middle of the night about 2 months or so. unless he pee'd throughout. I'm not sure it helps, but it sure sucks changing a diaper at 2 am when you're exhausted. But you'll probably want to put diaper cream on every night before bed. That's what we do and haven't had any major diaper rash. (Though some babies are more prone to it i think...and my guy never pooped at night.)

 

[DaisyBee]

I agree with the swaddling. It helped both of my girls at that stage.

And for sttn with your mil... I agree with the idea of babies sleeping on tummies sleep differently than now that they sleep on backs.

Jordan didn't figure out she could sleep on her tummy until December. And wow she sleeps like a log now. She was a very light sleeper on her back and woke with floor boards creaking.

All babies have off nights, no matter the age. My girls have had a rough weekend with colds. Either one or the other was awake and I think I saw every hour on the clock as they both just wanted comforting. I spent an hour in the bathroom with Megan for steam with her cough at one point. And she is 3. It's not all cut and dry about sleeping through. Things happen. Life happens. Snuggle and cuddle and realize they won't always need these middle of the night things.

And btw - keeping babies up during the day will have the opposite affect that you want usually. Yes its helpful to keep nights dark and quiet and days bright and noisy, but babies need day sleep or they will get overtired and then you have a whole new problem.

 

[eulmh82]

some babies just don;t sleep through. Ours was formula fed and woke every 3 hrs until he was maybe 10 weeks then went 10-4 and then 3 hourly around that. Not all babies sleep through and yes she may be gassy or maybe sh;e just not got the hang of day and night yet. Ignore MILs!!!! My MIL makes stuff up I swear my husband was such a perfect baby apparently but it changes everytime she tells me the same story- I get is so many times - he was tlaking by the time he was 9 mths apparently - his first word was gone but the next time his first word was hot! They can;t remember properly! If your baby sleeps through at 6 wks you are very very very lucky. Mine slept 7-7 at 8 1/2 mths!!!