What am I doing wrong?

[pinklizzy]

We have been giving LO solids for nearly a month now, she has purees and also eats what we do if it's suitable. She will eat lots of different foods and likes strong tastes etc but she doesn't eat very much of anything.
She has 5 bottles a day and will take anything from 2oz sometimes to 7oz at other times, taking on average 28-30oz over a 24 hr period. She still wakes at least once a night for a feed.
We saw the HV today and she has only gained 6oz in a month!
The HV said that by now she should be having 3 meals with a pudding after lunch and dinner but I don't see how I can get her to do this, I keep a record of everything she eats every day but not the amounts she takes. Should I be reocrding this as well?
I hate weaning so much, I just feel like a total failure

 

[julietz]

aww my baby is the same age as yours, they only need 3 bottles a day now at least, and yes 2 meals which i amalso just starting on, so here is my routine-

6am wake - Bottle
9am Breakfast - porridge
12am Lunch (coliflour cheese) & Yoghurt
3pm- Bottle
6pm - Tea - casserole & yoghurt
9pm - Bottle

Thats the routine imgetting her into now, which wont happen over night so dont feel like a failure, im the same, today i tried her on 7mth jars more lumpier, and she bourked and only had 6 spoons all day, so i had to top her up with milk and porridge, i swear im gona get it right tomorow lol.

 

[pinklizzy]

Thanks hun, I do give her 3 meals a day and our routine is similar to yours although she goes to bed at 7pm so it's more difficult to fit everything in.
She just doesn't want to eat all that much at every meal, I make up 1 tablespoon of porridge for example with the right amount of milk and she will eat maybe 1/2 of it?
For lunch she will eat about 2oz of puree and maybe two spoonfuls of a pudding if at all and we struggle to get her to eat anything at tea time-she'll refuse after a couple of spoonfuls.
I give her more milk as I'm worried about her getting enough but I only offer it after she has had some solids.
I don't want to give her jars so am making and freezing purees and cooking meals from the BLW cookbook but maybe I'm just not doing it properly?

 

[tu123]

Hey! You are doing fine!!!!!

My LO has lost weight since she started rolling about the room, etc and she eats like a horse!

Serioulsy! You are doing brilliant!

 

[pinklizzy]

Thank you! I'd just started feeling like I knew what I was doing with weaning then having her weighed sent me back into a panic!
Last night I was considering getting accurate scales so I could weigh how much I was giving and calculating the difference afterwards!
I feel like I need a food intake sheet like I would at work, then I'd feel happier but I can see that I'd spend all my time filling it in!

 

[tu123]

I have done a food and poop diary for Lil since we had BF issues and she lost a tonne of weight (but now weighs 25lb!). No harm in it!

Dont weigh the food hun. Just relax and go with your LO's flo

 

[fairypop]

Hello PL

Stop that talk of you being rubbish, as you are fabulous!!

You gave me the strength (!) to offer finger foods last week, seeing how well your gorgeous little girl was doing with them. I thought she was eating really well.

She must just have a small appetite at the moment, it will probably change and go up and down. This week Loki's has definitely gone up, but up until this week he would barely eat three teaspoons of brekkie, he just clammed up and got cross, but he has seemed hungrier this week. He is still having about 26oz of milk but we haven't offered a third meal (dinner) yet. I am not sure about all this pudding marlarky. We have started offering one at lunchtime, but he often has a couple of mouthfuls, I always think surely it is better if they have more savoury dinner than pudding!

I don't think you are doing anything wrong, you are doing a great job. She will probably suddenly just 'take to it' and start gobbling everything up!!

Just keep doing what you are doing my lovely....

As for that intake sheet.....you know you would get obsessive!!! NO!!! Ha ha, no, do one if you want to but you may find it more stressful...

xxx

 

[Ang1873]

can't beleive i'm going to offer advice seeing as i had a meltdown on monday about it all!

my LO has been eating more and has only put on 8oz in a month and a half.

i worry myself sick all the time about this, to the point where i've stopped taking her to get weighed so often- its just a number. she's happy, alert and developing well (just not weight wise!)

my LO eats;

6oz of milk (with loads of encouragement cos she's not that interested, even after 11 hours sleep!)
porridge - maybe about a tablespoon
3 cubes of various things and half a yoghurt
bottle (but i think we're going to drop this, she just isn't interested)
a biscuit
bottle
3 cubes of various things and rest of yoghurt.
bottle

she has about 18oz of milk a day and that's with a couple of ounces being hid in meals.

if its a jar im giving her she'll eat about half.

if she's happy and settled then she's fine.

i know i sound silly giving advice when i don't listen to it myself and worry myself sick but you really are doing fine !

 

[fairypop]

I meant to say, I have some of those scales and did find myself weighing some cubes of puree the other day Ooooops xx

 

[New Mrs W]

I'm wondering if she needs 5 bottles a day? I was having some difficulties with Frankie a few months ago and cut him down to four bottles a day, and now he's on three a day and his appetite is much better. They do say hunger is the best sauce!! As long as she's getting 18-20 oz of milk until she is 12 months old. I would recommend sticking with her early morning bottle, stick with breakfast, give lunch and a yoghurt, bottle mid afternoon (2:30pm ish), tea and yoghurt at 5ish and then a bottle at bedtime. I tried this after days of struggling to get him to eat anything and it really worked. He now drinks all his milk and will mainly eat all his food too, although he doesn't always take much pudding. Quite recently I found he was refusing his breakfast too and so I now get up with him at 7am to give him his breakfast first, then after playing, washing and dressing he has his bottle at 9am before going down for his morning nap.

I would try this. I remember thinking I was starving him by dropping bottles, but it has actually really helped him to rediscover his appetite. I just wasn't giving him the opportunity to get hungry before! Good luck xx

 

[pinklizzy]

Thank you

Today she had

5am-4oz bottle
9am-breakfast which was 1/2 a mashed banana
10-11am she slept
12 noon 5oz bottle
1pm-Roasted butternut squash, she ate a few pieces of this. Offered her soya dessert as a pudding but she refused to eat any of it
1.45-2.30 pm slept
3.30pm-4oz bottle
5pm-Ate a fishfinger (I removed all the crumbs) and some peas, again refused pudding
7pm-6oz bottle before bed.

I can totally see the logic behind giving her fewer bottles, I just worry that she isn't taking enough milk during the day as she never finishes a bottle. Whatever I do seems to be the wrong thing for her!

 

[New Mrs W]

Is she your first? Frank is my first and I literally sit and overthink everything I do with him! And I always feel like I'm not doing as well as he deserves me to do. Truth is I have a happy, healthy and thriving baby (as do you) so we must be doing something right! The best piece of advice I was given regarding motherhood was to always listen to your own Mum-she's done it all before and will want nothing but the best for her grandchild. I've never been one to listen to my Mum's advice but now she is the first person I speak to about my.worries She's given me great advice about weaning Frankie. Is your Mum about to speak to? Or do you have a close friend who's been through this and could advise you? I always feel so much better when I've talked through things face to face with someone else x x x

 

[pinklizzy]

I do talk to my mum about it but she's a HV and I think she feels like she shouldn't be giving me advice in a semi-professional capacity, if that makes sense?
I don't want to talk to my HV about it because I feel like a total idiot who should know what to do and she sort of expects I don't have any problems because of my mum

 

[shambaby]

you are NOT a failure! you are doing great, and honestly i think you probably just need to relax a little and enjoy this special time with erin. easier said than done, i know. i posted in your journal, but will say again, hayden only gained 7oz at about the same time and my hv said it was common - weaning means they are now having to work harder for their food, plus it tends to coincide with them becoming more active and so using more calories.

what works for me and hayden is flexibility - his apetite is usually good and he would generally rather have food than milk, but it does vary from one day to the next. when i stopped stressing about what time lunch should be and whether he should have his milk before or after food, i started to listen to him and now i think i'm pretty good at figuring out what he wants and when. it was a bit trial and error, but we now have a sort of a routine, which works most days, but is adaptable:

6.30-7.30am - wake up, have bottle (5-6oz)
7.30-8.30 - breakfast (usually cereal and some fruit)
nap
11ish - bottle (anything from 0-7oz)
12ish - lunch (sandwich, some kind of veg, and a yogurt)
nap
3-4pm - bottle (5-7oz)
5-6pm - tea (whatever we are having, occasionally with a pudding)
7.30-8.30 - bottle (usually 6-7oz, although tonight he refused it altogether!)
bed

i don't know if it helps to see other people's routines, but it at least illustrates that all babies are different, and that just because what you are doing is different to someone else it doesn't mean it's wrong.

and i'm with fairy on the pudding thing - i'd rather he ate more of his main meal than a pudding, so we don't offer them often unless you count the yogurt he has at lunch time.

only you know if it would work for you, but the food diary and weighing the food etc seems like a bad idea to me - i don't know if you know, but i used to keep a 'milk log' after i started expressing, initially just to make sure i was meeting demand, but it quickly became an obsession and made me worry even more.

sorry for such a long post, but i hope i have managed to help a little. you are doing great, and the only problem is that you don't see it. xxx

 

[New Mrs W]

I do talk to my mum about it but she's a HV and I think she feels like she shouldn't be giving me advice in a semi-professional capacity, if that makes sense?
I don't want to talk to my HV about it because I feel like a total idiot who should know what to do and she sort of expects I don't have any problems because of my mum

I would never leave my Mum alone if she was a HV! Ha ha! I always think people expect me to know what I'm doing because I work with children but honestly I had no idea about any of it! Things that I thought would be simple and straight forward have stressed me out and I have often felt like a failure. It's very much a learn as you go kind of job! BTW when I started weaning Frankie there were a couple of times when he actually LOST weight! HV wasn't concerned at all. X x x