What did your parents teach you about parenting?

[TallulahM]

Ok, a bit of a profound question, but an interesting one!

I have been pondering my upbringing for a while, I think because I am pregnant and it stirs up old memories perhaps, or maybe I am just getting old and seeing myself and my parents in a new light....
I don't have a good relationship with my mum, and now that I am old enough to articulate the things that happened in my childhood, I make a conscious effort not to make the same parenting mistakes as she did.
Likewise, I probably learned a lot about what to do right too.

So my question is, what did your parents teach you about parenting?

I learned from my parents...
1/ That even though I am the grown up, I mess up too. My mum messed up lots and never acknowledged or apologised for it (even now), so I make sure I always say sorry, explain and move on....
2/ To say I love you at every opportunity
3/ To praise my children lots, even when I think their drawings are creepy or their singing worse than the neighbours howling cat
4/ To listen to my kids and give credit to their feelings, even when they are not expressed in the right way (show them how to express themselves without conflict).
5/ Accept that I can only do my best, sometimes my best isn't good enough, and that no one beats me up more over that than me... again, saying sorry goes a looong way.

 

[bri25]

One this i learnt from my parents is that always say i love you everyday or at every opporunity you get because being loved is such an important thing to a child.

 

[tmr1234]

to let my child be a child and say i love him and be there to wipe the tires but also let him be hes self and not over crowed him.

 

[Tezzy]

to cuddle my kids.. my mum never cuddled me

 

[Rachiebaby24]

that more importnant than any material possessions is that we are here, healthy and we love each other more than anything and that is what matters.

 

[AppleBlossom]

your parents are ALWAYS right, no matter how certain you are they are wrong!

 

[Uvlollypop]

im only a step mummy at the moment but its been a steep learning curve for me as my parents wernt really around for me at all.

to tell her how beautiful and wanted she is.
some of the best activity's you can do are free.
to listen to her fabulous and imaginative perception of the world, and to only correct her just enough so she knows the facts but keeps her imagination

 

[spoo]

My parents taught me a lot. Some good stuff, some bad stuff. The main things I have learnt are:

1. Your child is a unique human being, not a copy of yourself. Let him / her develop in his own way, within limits.

My parents always wanted us to be replicas of themselves, to do things they never did etc.

2. To show my child how much I love them by saying "I love you" and giving them lots of cuddles.

My parents never once told me they loved me.

 

[Arcanegirl]

The biggest thing i learned is to not be anything like my mum...

 

[nikky0907]

The biggest thing i learned is to not be anything like my mum...

Ditto!

Me too unfortunatly...

 

[Lynxylaydee1]

im not a mummy just yet, but based on mine and OH's parents we feel that (apart from unconditional love obviously) we should support and guide our children but also let them make their own choices regarding life and happiness.

his never showed an interest in his career path/education, whereas mine did tooo much in the way that i ended up going to uni and being sooo unhappy just to please her. xx

 

[enigma]

I used to think my parents dident do a good job, but i realsie now that they did the best they could (for them and their means).
I know that respect is a 2 way thing, how can you expect your kids to respect you if you dont respect them.
And to show my kids love at every given opertunaty, i know one day they will grow and leave us, but i want them to do that knowing that we love and support them no matter what their choices in life are (within limits of course)

 

[mBLACK]

To tell my LO that I love him everyday, and before looking at things from MY point of view try looking at things from his point of view.
I shouldn't hit him unless I want to be hit back.
I should not speak to him disrespectfully as he is a person too & doesn't deserve to be disrespected.
Tell him I love him every chance I get.
Never put any man nor woman before him - he is a part of my body, he is my entire soul he comes before anything & everything.
AND
It doesn't matter how I feel or what I want, the only thing that's important is his needs & wants.

 

[Neecee]

My parents have taught me and my brother respect. We get on very well with both of them and can always have a laugh and a joke with them - we always have done, but we always knew who was in charge and we never took the mick.

 

[Eelis]

I learned from my Mum;

Birthdays/Christmas/special occasions can be magical and memorable without spending a fortune.

Take responsibilty for your own behaviour and accept the consequenses of your actions.

Life is often hardwork and shit. So remember to take a step back and remember why you are doing it and who you are doing it for.

Never ever EVER drink from the toilet bowl. This is very very bad.





I would say that in my relationship that I am the heart and OH is the head. We seem to make a good combination together, so I hope we make good parents (seems alright so far, ask me again in 13 years lol). My mum was a bloody nightmare sometimes but she had a lot of love to give and I think that is what i picked up from her the most. Must be that becuase I certainly don't tidy my room still lol

 

[lorrilou]

to always make sure your kids are loved, happy and safe and to always put them first!!

i had a shit upbringing but mum always made sure we were loved, not always happy and safe but she made sure we knew she loved us!

 

[tiggy]

Not to criticise my daughter like my mum did and sometimes still does me.

 

[princess_x0]

To never EVER smack my children, it doesn't solve anything just makes them scared of you.
Give them lots of cuddles and kisses.
Let them make their own decisions in life (aslong as they aren't illegal lol!) and be there for them for thick or thin, don't encourage them they don't want to do. I don't mean school etc.

 

[Irishmum]

Im not a Mum yet and hopefully Ill be able to put all these things into practice once I am

1. Lying should always be a last resort, and as soon as they can handle the truth tell them.
2. Make time for them
3. Praise them when they do things right don't just punish them when they do things wrong
4. There are certain situations where it's a good idea to treat your kids as you would an adult
5. Let them know you love them, you can never do that enough
6. Let them make the mistakes they have to but make sure they know you will be there if the mistakes are too big to handle by themselves.
7. Give your honest opinions and advice without being pushy.

There's actually loads more. I could be typing all night actually. guess Im fairly lucky that I learned these things from the good example my parents set.