GingerNut
Pregnant mum to Rosie
- Joined
- May 9, 2010
- Messages
- 784
- Reaction score
- 0
- Don't show how scared, worried or uncomfortable you are (if you are), she has enough to deal with without worrying about you!
- Don't make stupid jokes! There's a lot of scope for them during labour but she probably won't be in the mood.
- Don't complain about how tired you are. Seriously.
- Don't say 'but honey, I thought you didn't want pain relief'.
- Most importantly: don't get offended. Labour is a bizarre experience, your body and brain are doing things they've never done before, and women can have extreme reactions. She may very well shout at you (or whoever happens to be in the room!), but don't be offended, or argue, no matter how unreasonable she seems. She's not herself and can't be held responsible.
My DH was brilliant. He held me while they put the epidural in and didn't complain a bit when I practically squeezed his hand in two (I was tense!). He sat quietly beside me for hours when that was what I needed, and later, passed me water when I needed that. He looked after turning the fan on and off when the temperature annoyed me, and checked my blood sugar every hour so I didn't have to remember. He handled the annoying phonecalls from my mother wanting updates (maybe you could make sure all the phones are turned off!).
My favourite thing he did, though (and I may be unusual in this), was that he got involved towards the end when I was pushing. He had been very scared of the whole idea and determined to stay near my head so he wouldn't see anything, but when the time came, he was down the business end, being given a guided tour and a running commentary by the midwife: 'this is the amniotic fluid, that's the sac, this is the remains of the mucus plug, if you bend down, hold these apart and look up here, you can see the baby's head'. He was fascinated, and I was delighted to see him so interested and involved in the process. He's still happy about the fact that he got to look in and see her head coming down : )
One other thing: I don't know what the accepted way of doing things is, so I could be wrong, but I didn't like this: Our baby was taken to the SCBU because she had blood sugar problems. We knew it was going to happen, it wasn't a shock or scary. He went with her, which was fine, but he didn't come back for two hours. I was left alone in the delivery room, stranded on the bed without even a phone to ring someone to talk to, with my coffee and toast out of reach and going cold. It was a bit pants, to be honest, and I would have liked if he'd come back sooner to tell me about her and share the high.
- Don't make stupid jokes! There's a lot of scope for them during labour but she probably won't be in the mood.
- Don't complain about how tired you are. Seriously.
- Don't say 'but honey, I thought you didn't want pain relief'.
- Most importantly: don't get offended. Labour is a bizarre experience, your body and brain are doing things they've never done before, and women can have extreme reactions. She may very well shout at you (or whoever happens to be in the room!), but don't be offended, or argue, no matter how unreasonable she seems. She's not herself and can't be held responsible.
My DH was brilliant. He held me while they put the epidural in and didn't complain a bit when I practically squeezed his hand in two (I was tense!). He sat quietly beside me for hours when that was what I needed, and later, passed me water when I needed that. He looked after turning the fan on and off when the temperature annoyed me, and checked my blood sugar every hour so I didn't have to remember. He handled the annoying phonecalls from my mother wanting updates (maybe you could make sure all the phones are turned off!).
My favourite thing he did, though (and I may be unusual in this), was that he got involved towards the end when I was pushing. He had been very scared of the whole idea and determined to stay near my head so he wouldn't see anything, but when the time came, he was down the business end, being given a guided tour and a running commentary by the midwife: 'this is the amniotic fluid, that's the sac, this is the remains of the mucus plug, if you bend down, hold these apart and look up here, you can see the baby's head'. He was fascinated, and I was delighted to see him so interested and involved in the process. He's still happy about the fact that he got to look in and see her head coming down : )
One other thing: I don't know what the accepted way of doing things is, so I could be wrong, but I didn't like this: Our baby was taken to the SCBU because she had blood sugar problems. We knew it was going to happen, it wasn't a shock or scary. He went with her, which was fine, but he didn't come back for two hours. I was left alone in the delivery room, stranded on the bed without even a phone to ring someone to talk to, with my coffee and toast out of reach and going cold. It was a bit pants, to be honest, and I would have liked if he'd come back sooner to tell me about her and share the high.
