What do i do now?!

[LaDY]

Hiya girls...as a few of you may know i now belong here

Im still feeling a bit fragile and just so confused...where do i go from here?

Bit of background...me and babys dad live together. The property is in my name. As i dont have any family or friends nearby he said we can continue to live together however he will sleep in the spare room...is it just me or does this sound really wrong?...i have been with him for 4years and i am in love with him...i dont feel that him living with me will help me get over him...he is willing to pay half the rent and bills which i know will benefit me but a part of me thinks i need to be independent? I cant throw him out as he will have no where to go and he is my LO's father at the end of the day...what would you do?

How do i get over him?...what do i do alone? Im just so scared of being lonely and i know i will be...i dont really have anyone...

Could any of you ladies give me some words of wisdom...im also proud to say so far i have managed to keep myself together xx

 

[Emma1980]

I dont know what to suggest honey, you cant get over him while hes still there tho

 

[nievesmama]

hunnie.
I dont know what to suggest either, but i agree you cant really get over him if you still live together.
Hope you manage to sort something out, if you ever need to rant or just need words of encouragement/support we are here xx

 

[expecting09]

Hmm, tough one hun!

He may still live with you, but I know what you mean about being lonely. Have you tried joing any mother and baby groups etc to meet new people? If you think you need to be independent it's not gonna happen with him living there. It wont be nice for your LO, but look into the future, he's gonna have to move out someday, if theres no chance of you getting back together again whats gonna happen when you both meet new partners or whatever I agree with the other ladys, you wont be able to move on with him living under your nose xx

 

[sweetlullaby]

im not sure what to suggest really. Its up to you hun but i dont think you can get over him if he's still living with you. Is he willing to pay his share of the rent bills etc and shopping? Or is he just gonna treat the place like a free hotel? If you's arnt together anymore and its your house etc then he has to pay his way. Is he thinking on staying permently? Is there any chance you's will get back together or is it definately over? I havnt really offered any advice lol i suppose its really up to you and how you feel about him and whether you feel living together would work etc. xx

 

[rewizz]

mmmmmm tough one as sooo much emotion is involved , firstly he will have tp pay his way living there or not ... !!!! you will also be able to claim finacial help if his not there...
Very difficult with you having no family around to rally round and support you .. do they live far ????
personally tho i tried with previous partner to live together and it ended in a real mess... when he went out and did his own thing with no explanations .. it's tough your always wondering what they are up to .. then when they feel sorry for themselves they come on to you or say something nice , and you just take it the wrong way think things will work out to be smacked in the face again ... mmmm
i was glad when my ex moved out ... it was hurtful but a relief ... everything then falls into place over time ... remember !!!!
somebody once said to me and this is a good piece of advice ..

" we all have choices in life and we are only responsible for our own wrong or right we can only be in control of our own happiness and therefor it is your choice.. u are a strong person and u can do whatever u have to ... u need and owe it to u and your little one to enjoy what comes your way and not be sad or down .. so smile and move in the direction of YOUR choice ...
all the best .... xxxxx
been there done that and come out the other side .... hehehehehehe

 

[LaDY]

Thankyou all for your replys...you are all so sweet

He is willing to pay his way which is good...

I have no family as i was left them for him and also they did not approve of me having a child with him...so really i am all alone...

xx

 

[AppleBlossom]

Living together when you're seperated is the worst idea. I thought it was a good idea when me and my ex split but thinking in the long run it was silly. What about if he meets someone and brings them home? Could you cope with seeing him with someone else right under your nose? It is very hard to come to terms with a split but trust me, the longer you live together the worse you will feel and you won't be able to move on. I'm not sure how mortgages and stuff work as I rent but I'm sure there is some sort of arrangement you could make. Maybe you could get him to move out, maybe rent for a few months while you get things sorted? Sorry you have to go through this hun, just remember your baby comes first if you need to chat just drop me a pm x

 

[LaDY]

Thanks Bexy...it is the worse feeling ever i have to admit...i just feel so lost

 

[rewizz]

we are all here for you where abouts is your location .. i'm staffordshire if thats anywhere near to you .. ???
Its good to talk and get it all off your chest no matter how trivial u think your gripe is ...
If i can help in any way pm me ... xx

 

[lou_w34]

Hmmm i wouldnt kick him out, but i would say to him that he can stay as long as he is looking for somewhere else to live, its not really a good idea for you to both be living together, it will be hard, but it will be harder in the long run to get over him if he stays