what do i do???

[hawalkden]

I am being selfish to get married the way I want to do it? Which is the follow..

Just to have me, OH and two kids in our local Reg Office with the witnesses needed (due to smaller the guest the less money it is and it's £450 just for bride, groom and witnesses) then to have a family meal after in the afternoon with parents, and SIL etc?

Due to we have very very little money even £450 would take us a year to save. Due to not being rubbish savers but things come up like big family parties, more clothes for Isaac and then bumpo and it's gone in a flash.

Also OH has a huge family and just to have a £5000/7000 wedding his family would take half the space needed due to it being so big and that's just immediate family then there's the after do friends and extended family who'd need inviting so it's kind of a no cut off for people really. If we have a barn or huge land etc we'd be sorted and just have outside catering!

Or the next option of just having me, oh, our kids and parents there oh and SIL family plus witnesses then a family do. But that makes me want the whole 'traditional' dress, bridesmaid, dad walking me down and then all that makes me think of the whole £4000-9000 wedding that is traditional nowadays!

If money wasn't a prob then this wouldn't be an issue etc but i just want to have little money involved as pos, so no cake, or fancy wedding dress, or cars etc just a nice going out dress and meal after then a few drinks. Not the dream little girl wedding like everyone wants or even I would like but I love my OH and just want to be his wife :\
So what do I do?

 

[blondey]

It's not selfish hun, it's your decision.

However I know it would have broken my parents heart to not be able to see me get married. But on the other hand we were very lucky in that we got help from both sets of parents and save a lot ourselves so had our dream wedding an honeymoon.

How do you think your parents would be not being able to see you get married?

Could you just do parents and siblings? I think you could have a lovely registry office wedding for a lot less than £4k-9k. There are so many ways to save money if you have the patience to look around and be creative (although not sure if you would have the time with a toddler and bump/newborn!!)

How about a registry office and then to a pub, where you could rent out a room (I know a lot of pubs give you the room free as they make money on drinks) and do a buffet? You could decorate with balloons instead of flowers and have a cake from M&S

It's your wedding and people will respect what you decide. But I'm sure there are lots of people who would love to see you get married

 

[Blah11]

I think you should leave it just now until you can afford the wedding you really want. Personally I think weddings are about joining 2 families not just 2 people so would never do it just the 2 of us.

 

[Jem88]

Me an OH have often said we'd do that but in a joking way because we both know both our parents would be upset as they'd both love to be there.

But when we do it, we'll just be having our wedding at the reception office and then a party/after do later on in 1 of the local catholic clubs with a buffet & dj etc.

My step sister had her wedding 4 weeks ago and she had her's in a church then went to the local catholic club afterwards and they did a lunch buffet and then another more tea time-ish buffet later on as they didn't do a big meal etc. x

 

[Dizzy321]

I could have wrote this hun, we have the same dilema. No spare money to even have a 2000 wedding, so I am thinking just me, OH and the 3 kids go to register office and then a meal afterwards, I just want to have my kids names and be married, dont like all the fuss anyway x

 

[tallybee]

U know what I think about this hun, getting married doesn't have to cost a lot x

 

[babydevil1989]

this is what i want too - not because of the money (though that is a factor) but because i dont want to be the centre of attention - i want it to be about me and OH and being a family (we would invite our parents tho) - i dont need/want a big wedding -( and it would be big seen as my immediate family is 40+ people and OHs is 30+) it would be ridiculous!

my dream wedding would be abroad!!

if it is truly what you want to do then do it - you are never ever going to make everyone happy

 

[Blah11]

My cousin had a quicky wedding. 18 of us went to registry office then we all had a posh meal

 

[suzib76]

Dh and I got married in the registry office with just 2 witnesses for less than £100

 

[Kelly81]

I'd be tempted to do the registry office wedding but with immediate family present, you could always hire a hall or something (maybe ask for contributions from family as a wedding present, I'm guessing you don't need a toaster ) and then do a bring a bottle / plate of food party for the rest of your family and friends. It may not be what you've always dreamed of but at least you'd be married and there's nothing to say that if you come into some money in the future you can't have a blessing / renew your vows and make it into a big deal.

 

[Laura2919]

If you want to get married and you want to do it soon and are happy to settle for a smaller wedding then go for it because it is your wedding but if you feel like you want a big wedding then I would say not to rush into something you are going to regret

Just remember it is you marrying your OH and him marrying you so what his family or you family want is pretty irrelevant.

 

[mumandco]

I was tempted to do the whole registry office after we almost had to cancel our wedding which was supposed to be in 2013 due to our car costing is so much to fix but the more I thought about it the more I thought it wasn't for us so we postponed it until 2014.

Only you and your oh can decide wether it's right for you or not,would you regret not having a big wedding if you went to a registry office?

 

[Raven24]

I would have preferred this kid of wedding,could you have both of your parents as the witnesses?

 

[Button#]

Some hotel chains do cheap wedding package deals. I can't remember which ones.