What do I reply?!

[expecting09]

I'll give you the quick background info, FOB finished with me when we found out I was pregnant, we didn't talk. I sent a letter to FOB parents in Jan, they rang and said they would ring me back, but never did. Then emailled me at easter, then never emailled me back, and I didn't hear anything till yesterday.

They emailled me asking what day would be best for them to come down to visit and talk. At the start thats what I wanted, but the lack of interest ever since I first contacted them is kinda putting me off.

No idea what to do. I know if I was giving advice to someone else I'd tell them to go for it and just see what is said. But I'm really not sure

 

[Aidedhoney]

Hiya hun

If it were we i would let them come and see what they have to say.........but i would make it very clear that bubs wasnt something that could be picked up and put down.
If they wanna be involved they are in it for the long hall.

Hope that helps i am shite at advice lol

 

[scottishgal89]

To be honest I'm not even sure I would let them come down and talk after all the crap and stress they've put you through.
I'm quite bitter about my situation though so I suppose it depends how you look at it all.
I just dont think you need that. You tried and they shot you down.
Why jump now they've all of a sudden decided to give a sh*t?!
Sorry if I sound harsh just sick of people who think they can pick up and drop people when they feel like it

 

[whoops]

I think you should see them. The fact that they've specifically said 'talk' and not just visit shows, IMO, that they want to work things out properly. Have a couple of definite things that you want from them (eg. regular visits, no cancelling plans etc...) and then listen to what they've got to say.

If they are committed to being in your LO's life, then it can only benefit her, I'd say.

 

[SingleMumOf3]

I agree. I think you should let them come down and explain themselves if nothing else. but like aidedhoney said make it clear that bab isnt something that is there just when it suits them.. its all or nothing

 

[surprisebaby]

I think this is good news. but i can sense your hesitation. You don't want to think that they now care only for them to dissapoint you at a later date. I think its best to keep an open mind and be brave and hear them out. Sounds scary! I hope this is a good turning point here. I can't imgine how I would feel if that happened to me. good luck xx

 

[Laura2919]

I'd tell them they had their chance.. Unless they are really bothered about being a part of her life then tell them that your not comfortable.. She has been around for 8 months.. Make them explain whats taken so long

 

[Lissa3120]

I'd let them come down and talk. but not let them see baby until im for sure deffinate that they are in it for always and are committed. otherwise they can say they'll always be there, see LO this once and go on with their lives.
But then again, i wouldnt have made so much effort. But i'd be more inclined to tell them they had their chance and wasted it so they can just go on like they have been.

 

[bloodbinds]

Seems to me they have had time to think things through and finally want to put things straight. Better that than to keep ignoring you! I think it's up to you, but i'd be curious to see what they had to say, and their reactions to LO. Always worth one visit, then based on that visit you can decide whether you want LO to see more of them or not x

 

[LittleMadam]

I'd come up with some excuse to hold off. They need to show some persistance and, quite frankly, they haven't as yet. Really though, I don't know why you're bothered. If FOB isn't interested and his parents have shown little interest so far, I'd leave them all to it. After all, LO has you and your family so needs no one else.

 

[Maffie]

I would say if they come have baby looked after somewhere else as it's going to be impossible to talk with them gooing over a baby.

 

[Abigailly]

Honestly - I'd let them come down. Obviously they've known for a long time BUT they have to support their son! For all you know he could have told a million lies about you. They aren't their son. I thin kthey deserve a chance to explain themselves. If all doesn't go well atleast you can then tell your child (daughter? I've forgotten what your sig said ) you tried!!

You may find they are lovely people and have just not been able to get their head round it all.

Do you not think your daughter deserves you to at least try?

(I don't know your back ground, if you knew them already etc!!)

 

[expecting09]

I've tried in the past, but they always left me with empty promises. The first phone call I had from them they said they would ring back.. but never did. Then in the email at easter, they wanted my address to send Kacie an easter present, I said I wasn't comfortable giving them my address but I could give them a friends and they could pass the present on to us... no reply. Then this. It's not like I haven't tried.

But I did email them back saying that we need to talk, and what day was best for us. They live in Kent, so it's a long old way to go. I'm not quite sure whether to take Kacie or not until we've talked things through. They can't just take an interest when it suits them

 

[scottishgal89]

Are they coming to you? (Just when you said you don't know whether to take Kacie or not.)
I wouldn't until you've had a talk and know they're genuine but again I don't think I'd meet them. You've given them so many chances
xx

 

[Bingo]

I think you should see or talk to them without baby being there first. If they are decent they will agree to that.

 

[MrsRabbit]

I think maybe you should meet in a neutral place - like a restaurant or somewhere to sit and talk without the baby. Explain how you've felt with them making promises they can't keep etc. Tell them you don't want them coming and going and your DD getting attached to someone who won't be there in the long run.

What will her Father think of his parents having a relationship with his daughter when he doesn't?