What do your weekends look like?

[Beanonorder]

I am seriously starting to hate the weekends. I dread the approaching Friday and when I wake up on Saturday I seem have this constant feeling of impending doom.

My 3 year old is really full on. She's very strong-willed and demanding and needs to constantly be entertained. And she is still very, very jealous of her brother. My 1 year old is much calmer and pretty chilled. But he is walking and curious so he does get into everything.
I feel so guilty because it feels like the majority of my attention is going to my daughter because otherwise she ends up hurting my son in her jealousy or boredom.
I'm also struggling with the weekends because I very rarely get time to myself - weekdays or weekends. Everything is all about them and I don't get 5 minutes to just sit and watch a show or pursue a hobby. I hate taking both of them out with me because some kind meltdown happens every time I try and it just gets so stressful that I stay home. I take them to a soft play area outside our complex to play but it feels like that's all we ever do.
I try to make plans for activities to do with them but I think the frustration of it getting time to do my own things overwhelms me and we need up not doing much.

Thanks for reading my rant! I'm hoping someone has some suggestions of how to deal with my frustration /resentment and be a better mom...

 

[belle254]

Hi, I can totally empathise with this! I've been separated from my children's dad for over 2 years now, things are good now but back when we first split (we'd been together 8 yrs and kids were 8 months and 20 months) he literally sulked for 9 months and practically refused to see them let alone pay for them.
That was really hard, and the weekends were long as all my friends were doing family things, including my own family.
One thing that helped me was making sure I had a few hours of me time in the evening. I made an iron clad routine that I stuck to and both my dd and ds were always in bed, if not asleep, by 7 every night, and still are 2 years later. That would guarantee me 2-4 hours of time to do things soley for me.
Also putting by 30 mins or an hour of time to dedicate to each child specifically every day did help. So if I was with my DS having a cuddle and dd wanted a toy or something I said "this is my time with DS at the moment, I will get it for you in 10 minutes when it's your turn" etc. Took them a while but now they understand that their mummy times are precious and should be respected!
sorry to waffle xx

 

[belle254]

Ps getting out the house, even if it's a walk to the shops for a treat or walk to a park, sometimes can boost your mood a lot. I struggled when mine were babies but if I ever had really tiring or stressful day I would just go out and usually feel better.

 

[ClairAye]

I work Saturdays but get time to take the kids out for lunch or shopping afterwards and Sundays we go out just somewhere, the park, shops, soft play, a cafe or just a walk somewhere. I think I'd go crazy if I didn't manage going for a walk, it tends to put us all in better moods!

I also dealt with meltdowns but decided that if I stayed in, they wouldn't learn how to behave properly when out and after pushing to do it and have them out in difficult situations, they have really improved! I could never take my son out for lunch, he'd always end up needing taken out to calm down but he's a star now. It's tough to deal with but I found, anyway that it got better with time as they learnt how to behave properly in certain places and situations. That being said I still have big issues with my 4 year old and the toy aisle in Tesco...

 

[Beanonorder]

Hi ladies. Thanks for the replies! For somer reason they never showed up in my subscriptions.

I have just returned to China after a 6 week trip home. My ex has made the decision not to return to China so now I really am on my own. I'm trying to be more positive about it all and make sure I don't become a recluse. I had my older one assessed and have identified a few issues. Hopefully with occupational therapy and speech therapy she will become a bit easier to handle. We are also moving and I hope that will bring new things for us too.

 

[daneuse27]

I hope that the identification for your older one and strategies you're given to work with her at home on will help! I can definitely relate about the weekends.. after a busy work week, its hard sometimes to not be able to look forward to just chilling and doing nothing. But I do exactly as some of the PPs said; I always have her down at a reasonable time for bed (6:30 during the school year, 7pm during the summer) and that gives me a few hours to myself every night. I also keep her very busy in the morning when she has the most energy. I make sure her mornings are eventful and keeping her active. If we leave the house and spend time outside, it always tires her out more than if we just sat at home watching TV. After lunch, she's almost always ready for a nap, and sleeps for a few hours on top of the 11-12 hour sleep at night. It really helps me get the down-time I need, plus her behaviour is always better if she's well-slept. The routine is key with her.

On a side note, it's amazing that your children will have had the experience of living in another country. Best of luck with the upcoming moving.

 

[PG5K]

I find my weekends exhausting! I find myself getting annoyed with people who are talking about their lie ins because for me it is the same time to get up whether it's work or the weekend.

I only have the one daughter, 4 years old, and this weekend we had 3 meltdowns. It is hard and I try to do as much with her in the time as I can. He dad just puts her in front of the TV so I get her out and about. I tried to watch a TV programme for an hour in the day but gave up. You don't even get 30 mins to yourself till she has gone to bed.

I do enjoy it and I love going out with her but it is hard.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I used to hate weekends. So i signed up for swim membership. Makes life so much easier. Now we have a special weekend brekkie, to drag out the morning, then sort washing etc then we go swimming. Sometimes I take lunch sometimes we buy. Then afternoon park or visit family x

 

[Noria]

As your daughter is 3 years old consider sending her to any activity classes.