what does marriage change?

[honeybee2]

I was just having a conversation with my OH and he has made it clear he doesn't think anything will change in our relationship when we get married ermmmm naive much?

He said he will still love me just as much and go out as much as he did (he doesnt go out much only to go fishing, out to work, the occassional camping/ snowboarding trip with his mates). I seem to get the feeling he thinks It'll stop him doing his usual boy things etc, which I wouldnt never intend on starting, at the end of the day, yes he's my partner in crime (lol) but also a human being and free to go out when he wants. I think he also associates marriages as run down relationships that get boring and repetative and sour and all I want to do is explain that marriages are not always like that however he seems to think I feel that our marriage is going to be something out of a romance novel (which I dont I know it'll be as easy as it is hard) So as soon as I mention the word 'change' he starts freaking out and tried to convince himself things are going to stay the same. He just doesnt seem to understand- but I cant seem to explain it without scaring him I want him to know that I feel marriage will change our relationship for the better and stronger.

I'm trying to explain that marriage (to me) shouldn't change routine or your social life but should change (for the better) your relationship by making it stronger- marriage is more unique than a relationship in that you have the rest of your lives to build such a wonderful foundation with each other.

I'm a little worried. I asked my OH why he is marrying me if he doesn't really understand what it means and what it stands for- dont get me wrong I dont mean in a religious aspect (as we're not) but to me, it stands for unity and team work, love and honesty- that when your on your own, your never actually ever alone, that you have a best friend for life. His answer was " I'm doing it for you, I love you, and I want to be you for the rest of my life!" now thats all well and said- but how can I explain what marriage actually is?

He may want to be with me for the rest of his life and i trust him more than i trust myself but how do i explain marriage is not just wanting to do it because the other person wants it or because you want to be with that person all your life- but actually its a commitment to team work and things do change like a hightened sense of respect and support- love even. Grrrr girls what do I actually want to say to him?

Every time I start to explain, it comes out wrong and its scaring him

 

[polo_princess]

i think a lot fo the time with men it doesnt really dawn on them until the time has almost come to actually get married.

Marriage means different things to different people, so you can never get a definate answer

 

[booflebump]

Oh bless you. I dont think you need to say anything to him. He will find his own feelings change after you are married....and then he'll understand what you have been trying to get at

For us, marriage is about becoming an unbreakable team, always being on each others side, allowing, supporting and encouraging each other to follow our dreams, starting our journey to becoming a family and trying to refrain from leaving supernoodles in the sink/playing too much xbox....

xxx

 

[lynne192]

might change your name lol

 

[honeybee2]

ye. I will be changing my name.

 

[dizzyspells]

For us its about making our family complete,we have been together 8.5yrs and have 2 wonderfull children so its the icing on the cake for us,I finally get to marry my man!x

 

[pinkmummy]

For us its about making our family complete,we have been together 8.5yrs and have 2 wonderfull children so its the icing on the cake for us,I finally get to marry my man!x

Exactly the same for us. We have been together 6 years and have 2 little ones and know our family is complete now xx

 

[c1reid]

My Oh is the same in the sense he says getting married is more for me than him which does get to me a bit but then i think he wouldnt be doing it if he didnt want to (he's like that) so im happy to go with actions speak louder than words. I think most men have this misconception things will change a bit (tho if they havent in 6 years why would it then lol) and its maybe a case of he'll see it wont when you's are married.

x