What happens immediately after birth? (UK)

[baby1wanted]

Hi ladies, bit of an odd question from a ftm here....

Background is that my mum keeps talking about being there for the birth, this is not what I want. I love my mum to bits but she is not the right person in that kind of a situation for me for lots of different reasons. We have already decided that it'll be DH and his sister who I'm very close to there.

Anyway mum's now saying could she be there at the hospital even if she's not in the room! To me this is pretty pointless, she'll have to spend hours sitting in a nasty plastic chair drinking endless cups of tea and generally getting herself worked up, meanwhile I'll be worried whether she's ok when I should be concentrating on myself.

My argument is that she only lives 20 mins from the hospital and it would take at least that long after little man arrives for me to be ready to have visitors.

So I'm just looking for a back up to what I'm saying....
I know obviously you have to deliver placenta and there may be stitches etc. to be done - I'm guessing that in itself may take at least 20 mins?!
Then what happens? Personally at this point I think I would just want a bit of alone time - me, DH and baby. Want to try to initiate breastfeeding as soon as (DH's sister is completely happy with what we want and if we asked her to leave at this point she wouldn't mind). Do midwifery-led-units or delivery suites (due to complications not sure which one I'll be in yet) even allow visitors immediately after the birth?!

Thanks in advance

 

[Nikki_lou]

from my experience i had a pretty straight forward birth no stitches etc needed but i wasnt ready for visitors for a good few hours. for a start my placenta took a while to come out then i needed to b checked to make sure i didnt tear etc. were were then left alone for a bit and to be honest i was knackered so it was nice just to lay there and have some skin to skin time before we got ds dressed. Then there was no way i was having visitors until i had showered and changed etc. luckily my parents were at work at the time but they came up as soon as they finished at about 5:00 (i had him at 12:20) and even that seemed like it went so quickly. i was in a MLU and they didnt have any restrictions on visiting times . On a normal delivery suite i would assume they have set visiting hours.
Sorry i seemed to have blabbed a bit but i hope it helps!
good luck! x

 

[Eleanor ace]

At my hospital visitors aren't allowed in the delivery room, only once you've moved to the post natal ward. They generally move you there an hour after you've had LO, if all is straight forward, and if they have a moment to move you!
With my DD I had a straightforward labour and delivery on the L&D ward and immediately after birth it went like this:
Move to the bed (I delivered in the pool) to deliver the placenta. This took about 20 minutes. Having skin to skin time.
Get checked for tears, DD got weighed
More uninterrupted skin to skin time, during which I was encouraged to give DD a feed
Had a shower, if I'd opted for stitches these would have been done now
More cuddle time while we waited to move to the post natal ward

Generally, an hour minimum skin to skin time is recommended, to help establish breastfeeding and just marvel at your amazing little bundle. I'd definitely tell your mum that you would like an hour to bond as a little family of three, give LO a chance to try for a little feed in peace, and have a shower before you have visitors.

 

[Beccaboop]

My lo was back to back and got stuck so i ended up on theatre so they could use forceps to turn him and do an episiotomy with an epidural incase the forceps didnt work and they needed to do an emergency c section!

So immediately after birth oh took lo back to my labour room while i was stitched up then when i came back he was leaning how to put a nappy on and dress him (i have a niece and nephew i used to look after a lot so had done it all before but oh hadnt) then we had about 2 hours alone with lo then a midwife asked if we were ready for visitors so they came in then.

My mum, dad and mil, fil and i think nan in law (but i think she left before i had lo cos i was in active labour for about 19 hours i think) insisted on being at the hospital waiting even tho i told them not to come and we'd call them when lo was born but they came anyway! I asked my midwife to not let anyone in the room except oh and she respected that but it didnt stop them still sending other midwives to check on progress and ask if they could come in but my lovely midwife said no!

I was pissed off with mil tho cos she phoned oh while i was about to push and asked him to come and tell them how things were going leaving me scared about the pushing part wondering when he was coming back and that he was going to miss his son being born! He should of just said no im busy but he cant say no to his mum grr!!

Anyway just talk to your midwife when your in labour and make sure she/they know what you want and who you want in the room during and after labour!

 

[Pearls18]

For me I gave birth at 10.26pm and didn't get moved to a ward until 4am and wouldnt have even been allowed visitors because I left by midday the next day and visiting hours were in the evening.

It took till gone 11 to deliver placenta (40 mins), I was stitched up (only a couple) and then went to have a bath. DH, baby and I then had to wait hours while they did the paperwork to move into the antenatal ward where it was 4am and DH was made to go home. He then picked me up the next morning, we had a few pre checks and that was that. I couldn't have had visitors even if I wanted them and I wanted to get home ASAP, mine was a very straight forward labour although placenta was a little slow.

 

[Eternal]

My paperworks says we can have visits on labour ward, but I probably would of wanted that. My first was natural and I couldn't wait to shower, Eck, my second my elective section as twins wee breech and I would have been more than happy for visitors lol, if I Have another section we will probably text mum as I'm going down and she can come for a quick peak after the section, but if it's natural I would want time to clean myself up a bit so probably not until I was on the ward.

 

[J04NN4]

I gave birth at 7.01pm. Then I had about half an hour to deliver the placenta and just over an hour to get stitched up (ouch!). Then I had tea and toast (hadn't eaten for 48 hours!) and skin to skin for a further hour, and had a couple of goes at breastfeeding (my LO wasn't keen, but that's a different story). Then a shower and a change of clothes. I eventually made it onto the postnatal ward at 2am. You usually aren't allowed visitors on the delivery suite, just the postnatal ward, so it will be at least 2-3 hours and that's if the times work out with visiting hours. I didn't see anyone other than OH until 11am - and I was glad of it, actually.

 

[shelbie1313]

Our hospital has evening visiting only from 6.30-8.00. Birth partners and your own children can come in from 9-9 but no one else.
When I had my dd it was at 3am, got moved to ward about 6 am which is when hubbie and my mum (who I wanted there) got asked to leave.
Those 3 hours were for placenta delivery, a few stitches, weighing and measuring, a bath for me, tea and toast and some skin to skin while me and dd attempted feeding.
Because mum had been my birth partner she was allowed in during the day, which I liked as dh came in for a bit and then did a trip to asda to get premature size nappies and baby grows as dd was only 6lb5.
His parents had to wait for proper visiting. I was out b4 visiting the next evening.
This time it will be just me and dh in delivery as my mum will be looking after dd who will be 21months when number 2 makes its arrival. Mil and fil and my mum and dad will all have to wait for 6.30 visiting, unless depending on time im out by then.
I hope you manage to sort it all out, and yes, if she only lives 20 mins away there will be more than enough time for her to get to the hospital b4 u r ready for visitors, visiting time dependant of course.
good luck

 

[baby1wanted]

Thanks everyone, everything makes much more sense now. There's so much information out there on what happens whilst your in labour but very little in what happens after!!
Ironically within 24 hours of posting this I became unwell and have been admitted to our maternity ward so now I have a really good idea of visiting times etc here ha ha!!

 

[smileyfaces]

You arent usually allowed visitors on labour ward in the uk...you will be move to postnatal ward once you and baby are sorted out and then you are only allowed visitors at visiting time

 

[tinkerbelle93]

i had a forceps delivery in theatre, I honestly can't really remember how long it took for me to get sorted out after. The placenta was delivered, I was stitched up then cleaned down and gowned up before being wheeled to where my baby was on the ward.. must have taken around half an hour maybe :/ But after that I really was not ready for anyone to visit.. I was exhausted, catheterised, looked awful and felt quite emotionally overwhelmed. I had my visitors about 6 hours when I'd had time to have a nap, wash, straighten my hair and do make-up! However, in hindsight I would have waited until the next day when I had my catheter out, was mobile and in my own clothes. I think next time I have a baby I will do this, or even wait until I'm home with the baby. xx

 

[MindUtopia]

Oh no, sorry to hear you're in hospital. Hopefully it's nothing serious and it all gets sorted out soon.

I had a home birth, so it's probably slightly different, but for me, after I had my daughter I put her skin to skin and got into bed (I had her kneeling on the floor) and we cuddled in bed for just over an hour. I wanted absolutely nothing done for the first hour as I just wanted to have time with her and the midwives were great about it, just cleaned up and generally stayed out of the way. After an hour, the placenta still wasn't coming, so I opted to cut the cord (she was still attached for about an hour and 10 min) and got the injection to help the placenta detach. Placenta arrived at about 1 hour and 25 minutes after birth, so then they sorted that out and cleaned up a bit. I needed a few stitches so they did those as well. My husband was holding our daughter at this point. Then she came back to me, had the vitamin K shot, midwives did some paperwork and cleaned up more and then left after about 2-3 hours. We didn't have any visitors for 10 days. It was great! I didn't want anyone to come over for a week and we don't have family nearby anyway, but 10 days together was great.

My mum lives in another country (which is a blessing) because like you, I wouldn't have wanted her there for the birth either. She's a bit overbearing and gets really worked up about things and it wasn't the atmosphere I wanted. So the fact she wasn't nearby definitely made it easy. But you deserve time with your baby. Everyone else can wait. Let her know when baby has arrived, but say you'll be in touch again when you're ready for visitors. You can even lie and say they won't allow visitors to the labour ward until you get moved to the postnatal ward (many hospitals just keep you in your room you birth in anyway so that's not true, but who cares!). You never get those first hours and days back. If she's offended, she'll get over it eventually. But you'll be glad you had that time.

 

[xx Emily xx]

At our hospital it's birthing partners only on delivery suite. After the baby is born you can be on delivery anything up to 4 hours if you are well. Then you get moved to the postnatal ward and they have strict visiting hours so if you got moved when it wasn't visiting times your mum still wouldn't be able to visit

Em xxx

 

[Jonesy25]

I had a forceps delivery, cant remember how long it took to get me from theatre to delivery room, but once i was in there my mother and father in law came in before i was taken up to the ward. This was what i wanted and was asked by everyone if i was sure!

 

[hels08]

when i had DD2 she was born at 7:11pm, placenta delivered and stitched up by 7:30pm, we phoned everyone to tell them she'd arrived and visitors came, they were at the hospital for 8:10pm so an hour after birth, by this time id already had a shower and had a drink and something to eat. there was DD1, OH parents, OH sister and bro in law and my parents so 7 visitors. i prefered this as they all gone home by 9pm, we had time with just me and OH and baby until i went to ward at 10:30pm, OH wasnt allowed upto ward with me, fathers can be there anytime from 12pm to 7pm but no other time. When it was ward visiting hours you could only have 2 visitors per bed so if theyd come up then theyd have had to wait outside and come in shifts which isnt really ideal. id rather have them come to delivery suite and get it over and done with! x

 

[baby1wanted]

Thanks everyone it really does help to hear everyone's experiences. I'm much clearer in my head as to what's likely to happen and what I want. Mum may end up a bit disappointed as I'm now quite clear that I want DH and I to have some alone time with LO when he arrives. Hopefully she'll understand

 

[BunnyN]

I'd say a MINIMUM of an hr.

I had a HB and MIL wanted to wait in the car outside! I insisted no one was aloud near until we called them. Good thing they didn't because labour took 38hrs! We promised to phone when LO was born. I actually asked OH sent a text when I was pushing, which took an hr. Then he rang them after the baby was born and again when we were ready. No way I was having visitors before a shower, not to mention delivering the placenta, stitches, dressing the baby, ect, none of it took ages but it adds up. I also wanted 10 mins alone with OH and the baby after the midwife left before everyone else met her. So it must have been a couple of hrs.

 

[sequeena]

I gave birth at 07:42am and didn't go back to the maternity ward until noon. I had a retained placenta that took 40 minutes to come out. I also had a 2nd degree tear, grazes and internal tears that needed stitching. Then I had a shower. A lot happens in that time, weighing, cleaning, checking, dressing baby etc. My son had a defect which wasn't seen on scans so that was a surprise.

 

[Chelle26]

Depends on your birth I think lo was back to back so had to be cut to
Get him out asap as his heart rate was dropping and he made quite
A fast appearance after 3 days of labour personally all I wanted was sleep lol

 

[Chelle26]

Depends on your birth I think lo was back to back so had to be cut to
Get him out asap as his heart rate was dropping and he made quite
A fast appearance after 3 days of labour personally all I wanted was sleep lol