What happens when you give birth in hospital re: visitors?

[belladonna]

I know this is a few months away yet but MIL is insisting that she sees the baby right after its born and this is making me quite uncomfortable already. She says that she wants to wait at the hospital whilst I'm in labour, but I have found out (on one of the leaflets) that they do not allow anyone to wait.

The question is, if everything goes to plan I want to be out of the hospital asap after giving birth and I don't want them coming to our house after as I want to have that special time with just the 3 of us.

What happens after you give birth? Will I be put on a ward for a few hours or in another room? I know that we can't leave until we have the car seat and my parents are bringing that.

You see my parents live 30mins max from the hospital and can be there quite quickly, OH's parents live over an hour away and they drive max 40mph and will take them forever to get there, I don't want to have to wait for them to arrive before we can leave.

 

[jazmine18]

when i has sophia she was born at 10.55pm, so they took me up to the postnatal ward and my mum had to go, no visitors after a certain time..7pm? i think..and obviously it was past that time, so she came back about 10 in the moring and brought the car seat with her, and while giving birth i was allowed two people in with me, i had my mum and then my nan came for a short while but left,,they have to discharge you and that can take a while though so we didnt actually leave til 7pm the next day and that was with us rushing them!! but i think you can have visitors in the visiting times, but only 2 or 3 and no children except siblings xx

 

[jackiea85]

I was kept on the labour ward for about 6 hours after I gave birth so I wasn't allowed visitors there. They put me on a postnatal ward for 2 days (most people aren't in that long unless complications/c-section) where the rules were meant be no more than 2 visitors but at 1 point I had 4 (my OH, my FIL, my mum and my step-dad) and no one said anything. I think it's one of those things that varies by hospital. Can you get your OH to tell them that you would rather they visited you once you got home? x

 

[kerrie24]

I think the minimum time you have to stay before being discharged is 6 hours,but that depends on all the checks being well with baby,you,whether you've had a wee since the delivery,etc and how busy they are.I had hoped to get straight out but had to wait till the next day and I was actually glad of the time alone with the baby.visiting times are usually something like 2-7 so you will get some time to yourself.I would say to MIL that nobody is allowed to wait except your partner and if they were you would naturally want your mum not your partners to be there for you.

 

[belladonna]

I know I shouldn't get worked up over this now- but its really bugged me. Knowing her she will just turn up anyway.

Could I mention to the nurses that I don't want certain people to visit? Could they just walk in?

 

[suzib76]

they will be allowed to just walk in to the ward on visiting time hun and i doubt very much that the nurses will have the time to look our for them/try to stop them

how does your OH feel about it? just wondered as it is his mother, and also she sounds totally over the top, but is natural to be excited about a granchild

i have a similar thing with my grandmother, but this time round i am just going to tell everyone i dont want visitors at the house until i am ready, i am hoping to get out after the 6 hours but of course it all depends on what time the lo's arrive at

only thing i can suggest is getting your oh to have a wee word with her

 

[belladonna]

The reason I am worried is that she is a very controlling person and I know that she will come in, tell all the doctors and nurses that they don't know what they are doing and basically take over from me. Also I know that when she would visit she wouldn't do anything useful like helping out, but sitting around expecting me to run around after her. Unfortunately OH will not stand up to her, and I know that I won't really be wanting to get into a fight with her just after having a baby!
I've already told her that I didn't want her in the room when I'm in labour as I want it to be just me and OH and as I told her- she wasn't there when the baby was concieved so Shes not going to be there when its born.

 

[belladonna]

they will be allowed to just walk in to the ward on visiting time hun and i doubt very much that the nurses will have the time to look our for them/try to stop them

Also thats quite worrying that anyone can just walk in and not be questioned as to who they are.

 

[suzib76]

The reason I am worried is that she is a very controlling person and I know that she will come in, tell all the doctors and nurses that they don't know what they are doing and basically take over from me. Also I know that when she would visit she wouldn't do anything useful like helping out, but sitting around expecting me to run around after her. Unfortunately OH will not stand up to her, and I know that I won't really be wanting to get into a fight with her just after having a baby!
I've already told her that I didn't want her in the room when I'm in labour as I want it to be just me and OH and as I told her- she wasn't there when the baby was concieved so Shes not going to be there when its born.

in that case it might be best just to tell her lol, as for when you go in to have lo, maybe just dont tell her till its allover hehe

 

[suzib76]

they will be allowed to just walk in to the ward on visiting time hun and i doubt very much that the nurses will have the time to look our for them/try to stop them

Also thats quite worrying that anyone can just walk in and not be questioned as to who they are.

well usually at visiting you just say who you are there to see, i just mean i dont think the nurses would take responsibility and turn her away iykwim

 

[Char&Bump-x]

When i was in hospital with Kyla (for 3 nights!) the ward had a locked entry system you had to press a buzzer, say who you were there for and the nurses would check with you before letting them in

I got quite pissed off though, there was a 2 visitor rule, and two of my friends came in 5 minutes before my mum turned up and they wouldnt let her in unless a friend left..yet the girl opposite me who came after me and didnt even stay overnighth had TWELVE people in at once

 

[NIfirsttimer]

different hospitals have different policys and procedures...
i had Ruby in a midwife unit (within the hostpital) she was born at 7.39pm, and although i didnt know it, my dad & sister were waiting outside. the midwife knew but didnt tell me until shes been delivered, and id had my stitches etc, and she let them in then, it was about 30mins after ruby was born. i was in a room of my own, and everything happend within that room, ie, i laboured, delivered & then stayed there for 3 nights (roo was jaundiced) while i was in that room in the midwife unit visiting was pretty relaxed, i had lots of people at once etc no probs, but due to my extended stay so that ruby could have some phototherapy for the jaundice, i was then moved to a private room within the normal post natal ward. they had a strict 2 visitors per patient rule, and you had to sign in & out etc.

 

[gills8752]

I've been very strict on this one. From the moment I knew I was pregnant I said no one will be visiting us straight away. I want it just to be the 3 of us (me, hubby and baby) for at least a couple of days. I've banned anyone from afar coming to visit for the first month (my mum stays 700 miles away and Ive banned her)

If I were you, I wouldn't tell her you've gone into labour. Once baby has arrived and you are comfortable with visitors just explain that it all happened so quickly that you and your oh were just concentrating on making sure the baby was well and delivered safely that you didn't think you let anyone know. And then I would make specific note to mention how wonderfully relaxed it all was and how you are soo pleased it was stress free and how you loved having that special time together first before everyone descended on you.

Be brave, be a bitch, its your baby not anyone elses and you have the right to say how you want things to be!

 

[Pato]

I was in hospital for 5 days...Mon -Fri with DS so I don't know how soon after you can leave. As for the MIL, just don't tell her when you go into labour and hope that it happens at night, that way after LO is born, hubby can call and tell her baby is born but visiting hrs are over so she'll have to wait until next day, that should buy you some time alone with LO. Hopefully you'll be discharged b4 she gets there
You should make sure she understands no visitors at home for however long you want...

 

[FlowerFairy]

they will be allowed to just walk in to the ward on visiting time hun and i doubt very much that the nurses will have the time to look our for them/try to stop them

how does your OH feel about it? just wondered as it is his mother, and also she sounds totally over the top, but is natural to be excited about a granchild

i have a similar thing with my grandmother, but this time round i am just going to tell everyone i dont want visitors at the house until i am ready, i am hoping to get out after the 6 hours but of course it all depends on what time the lo's arrive at

only thing i can suggest is getting your oh to have a wee word with her

I have to disagree. You can ask for certain people not to be allowed on the ward. All wards are locked and operate a buzzer system and you have to state who you are,

With my 1st I was having a tough time with his dad and family and I asked that they be told nothing and not let in. There were notes all over the nurses station stating who must not be given any info etc. If I got visitors who were a surprise they were not let in until the nurse checked with me,

 

[babybaillie]

Is this ur 1st?

If everything goes well, u can leave as soon as the baby has been seen by a paedatrician and had a hearing test. SO will depend on what time of day u deliver.

WIth my 1st we were made to stay in 5 days.
With my 2nd i had her at 22:16 and got to leave at 1pm, next day.
With my 3rd i presume it will pretty much be the same depending on what time she is born.

U would need to check with the hospital with regards to visitors. Most allow grandparents to arrive after u have had a shower/tea/toast and u and baby r fed and settled.

I was lucky my parents came right away after bothe births. OH's parents made no effort to. But i think if they are showing keen, and ur parents do come u dont want to push them away. Think long term how u would feel if it were ur son having a baby. U can make it clear u dont visitors to stay long as ur tired etc. But its always nice to give them the chance to meet the baby. Then they can go and tell everyone they know. They will just be excited about becomin grandparents. try not to exclude them

 

[happygal]

Ive told everyone that if i will be home shortly after the birth then i dont want any visitors at the hospital as i want sometime time for me and OH to chill out and get to know baby a bit without having to be polite and let other people hold baby when i want to lol

 

[Shifter]

All post-natal wards have a buzzed entry system these days but it probably varies from one hospital to another how trusting they are with who they let in. I agree with gills, just don't tell your in laws that labour has started and make sure you get your quiet time.

We planned a home birth and wanted some time alone before visitors and were up front about that during pregnancy. After the birth didn't go as we hoped I was in hospital for 3 days and just my immediate family visited. My c/s was in the evening and MIL had driven up from Essex to be there to support DH and she was let in to see me and Jack on the recovery ward, which I really didn't appreciate. The nurses were about to change my dressings etc and I actually had to ask them to clear the room - I did not want my MIL seeing everything!

After we got home we only let my parents visit for a few days, I had pretty bad PND and was pretty immobile after the surgery, but other family started to get impatient and my dad started to nag about it. For some reason some people just don't get it, they just don't understand why you might want and need some quiet time after the birth, especially if it is quite traumatic.

If it had gone to plan and I'd given birth at home I think I would have been happy to have visitors within a couple of days, but as it was it took nearly 2 weeks for me to be happy to open our doors and even then it was by appointment only!

I'd definitely say that at home you have complete control over visitors as well as all the other fantastic benefits of home births

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

I was in a birth centre for 2 nights (gave birth at 5.40am saturday and left on sunday afternoon)
There was an entry system to get into the actual birth centre, but no one checked with us before visitors were allowed to my room (at the birth centre all rooms are for labour, delivery and recovery) but I'd already said only my mum and her partner were to come to the birth centre.

 

[Jules]

At my hospital you were allowed 3 visitors at a time and no children, unless they were your own children. My OH was allowed to visit from 10am until 9pm and other visitors 4 - 8pm (or something similar).

My MIL was like yours, you would have thought i was giving birth to her child! Tell your OH he's to tell her that you will call her when your ready for visitors! Its your special day you make the rules!

I had just my OH there during the labour and birth and once we'd had some alone time and rest for couple of hours i couldn't wait for people to come and see my LO so i could show her off, all through the pregnancy i'd been telling people not to come lol but then i was ringing them telling them to hurry up lol. I asked my parents first and then called his mum to come. Its not all just about the baby, you are going through one of the biggest things in your life.