what is the point of a christening if you're not religious?

[Indi84]

Neither me or dh are religious, no church wedding for us (married in a beautiful barn!), or christening. I find it kind of offensive when people do it for a party, but not enough I'd say something outloud lol.
My sisters are very religious and to them it's important to be in the eyes of god which I think is lovely.

You can choose to be baptised as an adult, it's not like they can't ever become part of the church if they don't want to be as an teenager/adult.

 

[ickle pand]

I don't have a LO yet but when we do, I think we'll have a humanist naming ceremony. We had a humanist wedding, which we loved as we could have it exactly as we wanted. You can have as much or as little pomp and ceremony as you want. I like the idea of having Odd Parents rather than God Parents.

https://humanism.org.uk/ceremonies/humanist-namings/

Oh and you don't have to be christened to be a god parent, at least the C of S - I'm god mother to my youngest cousin but have never been christened.

 

[Dragonfly]

I didnt do it as I am not religious but I know a lot do do it and arnt religious to keep good with family and to get the kids in to certain schools here. My family say my non belief in god is no excuse for not christening my children. Too me thats odd. I rather not stand up there and lie and make a mockery of someone elses religion I dont believe in. And you can marry in a catholic church if not christened as my dad wasnt a catholic when he married my mum. But you cant make holy communion or conformation as a child without being christened.

 

[C_baby]

I think it's pretty disrespectful to stand in a church reciting prayers and promises to a god that you don't believe in. I find it uncomfortable enough attending religious funerals so there is no way in the world I'd get Ivan christened. OH is from a very religious catholic family and was quite religious himself for many years (my stepchildren go to catholic school). Luckily they're all happy that it is our decision to make and it's not for other people's benefit.

If Ivan chooses to follow religion when he's older I will full support him. He can always be christened later on if that's what he wishes.

 

[beth_terri]

I think people do it for a party and gifts lol. Most of the people I know with kids have them christened and are not slightly religious. I PERSONALLY think its a bit disrespectful to religious people and to the church to have you baby christened with NO intention of ever going to church services etc. But that's just my opinion.

If my children choose to believe in god or any religion for that matter, ill happily support that and get them christened if they wish

I'm atheist (and no, I won't be getting married in a church)

X

 

[mellyboo]

I'm Catholic I was raised in a church but life got to busy and we stopped going all the time although I had a catholic ex boyfriend and they went to church every single christmas eve that was there tradidtion which was lovely.. TBH I'm not that religious I believe in god and I believe my daughter should choose her own religion.

Every single person in my family was baptized as a catholic so i'll be doing the same for my LO... Which doesn't mean she needs to stay catholic but it's very important for my parents and grandparents for her to be baptized so LO baptism is in a couple weeks my parents went and bought her a 100.00 dollar gown and etc for the ceremony.

my OH was never baptized he never really saw the point either but we had to do a pre course and we went just this last Thursday and it was actually interesting he actually enjoyed it.... every one in my group had a reason why they wanted LO baptized some people grew up in the church and going every so often and wanted the same expirence for there LO and then there was some doing it because of family and there importance.

Back in the day the catholics used to say your babys would never go to heaven if not baptized or blessed before passing and they would actually be burried outside the gates ... they used to scare people into baptizing there babies... Me and OH were like OMG thats the most hurtful thing ever I couldn't imagine.. but thats not the truth anymore and religion has change and i find more church's are about having people coming together and building realtionships and just being there for everyone and being a good community... it's not what it used to be specially how it was in my grandparents day!

 

[mellyboo]

I think people do it for a party and gifts lol. Most of the people I know with kids have them christened and are not slightly religious. I PERSONALLY think its a bit disrespectful to religious people and to the church to have you baby christened with NO intention of ever going to church services etc. But that's just my opinion.

If my children choose to believe in god or any religion for that matter, ill happily support that and get them christened if they wish

I'm atheist (and no, I won't be getting married in a church)

X

I wont be getting married in a church either Catholic has way to many loops and hoops to get married in specially since OH isn't catholic it would be crazzy the things he would need to do before he got married in the church no thanks.

i will just be hiring somebody to marry us like my sister did i forget what there called lol

 

[lozzy21]

I think its disrespectfull to have your child christened if you dont plan on taking them to church. Niamh was baptised Catholic and while we dont got to church often because trying to get a two year old to sit still and quiet is a nightmare but once she has a longer attention span we will be going most weekends. Me and OH were both baptised catholic, he does not belive in it but it happy to go to church every now and then. He drew the line at getting married in a church though, he was happy to say he intends to raise Niamh catholic but for him to stand in church and make vows before a god he does not belive in would be wrong.

OH's cousin is not religious, nether is her OH and shes getting christened in a few months. I dont think they have any intentions of taking her to church, its more about the party after.

 

[Seity]

My husband and I were both raised Catholic, but since neither of us practice we didn't have a baptism or christening. To me that is a religious thing and I don't see the point in doing it if you're not going to practice the faith. We also didn't have a naming ceremony because we don't really feel the need to have a secular version of a baptism either.

 

[mellyboo]

I dont think its about going to church everyday and at my pre group the priest had said you dont need to come to church every single day we no life is busy but its about believing too.. so as long as you believe and go every once in awhile i don't think its that disrespectful at all.

I think the people who baptize and don't believe i'm not sure why there wasting there time TBH at my church we had to go to a pre course and everything then there is the mass/ceramony its a process I missed 3 pre groups because something came up and etc it's a couple hours in the evening.

 

[private26]

Thanks all. I think I will leave it up to tht girls and if they want to be baptised when they're older then that's fine. I know in my area you have to be christened to be a god parent x

 

[mellyboo]

Thanks all. I think I will leave it up to tht girls and if they want to be baptised when they're older then that's fine. I know in my area you have to be christened to be a god parent x

Same as mine 1 has to be catholic and the other it doesnt matter sorta weird how that works.

 

[lozzy21]

Thanks all. I think I will leave it up to tht girls and if they want to be baptised when they're older then that's fine. I know in my area you have to be christened to be a god parent x

Your local registery office might do naming ceramonys if thats something you want to do, ours do

https://www.stockton.gov.uk/citizenservices/registeroffice/civilceremonies/namingceremonies/

 

[Lindsey123]

I really get on my high horse about this. Most people I know around here christen their children because 'that's what you do' - not because they believe in God. They do it for a party and presents. All fine, but I think they ought to have a huge naming ceremony or a 'welcome to the world' party instead of a christening - leave that to those who believe. It can be just as big and even more special as it would be personalised to the actual beliefs of the family. I say, if I am invited to share my opinion, that people ought not to stand up and make vows on behalf of their child to a God they don't believe in. It really makes me bristle.

Also - and this really annoyed me - my brother was recently invited to be someone's godfather, and said he would do it and would be honoured. I was surprised - he does not believe in God - and told him that he'd be expected to take the child to Church and contribute to his spiritual upbringing, as the declaration that you sign as a Godparent specifically says. He laughed and said 'Noooo, I'll just take him to the pub when he's older - it's about being his mate'. That says it all and I have to confess, I did tell him off. Why sign it? Why agree, if you have no intention of inducting him into Christianity?

I am an atheist (an anti-theist, truth be told) and place no personal value in religious ceremonies - my child is not christened and I have not attended Christenings for children whose parents I know not to be religious (though I would attend the ceremony of any genuinely religious friends, to whose beliefs I try to be respectful.) I have, however, sent a gift and well wishes in the spirit of the party they actually wanted!

 

[beautifulpack]

No you haven't missed anything. IMO you should only have a christening if you're religious. I really don't get the point otherwise - there are secular naming ceremonies if you want a celebration but aren't religious x

My thoughts exactly

 

[bumpy_j]

I chose not to because personally I felt hypocritical to do so with no commitment to the church - because that's what it is, committing yourself to God. We have godparents but didn't have a formal ceremony for it. If we could have afforded it, we would have had a naming ceremony.

 

[Jaylynne]

I had LO christened. It was a HUGE deal for DHs family. DH was an alter boy, two of his aunts are nuns and my mil cried when I said I was ok with getting LO christened. I was raised independent bible/baptist and they have dedication ceremonies which are similar to a christening without believing the whole "LO is a saint" thing. DH and I aren't practicing any one faith now as we are having a hard time finding a church we are both comfortable with but we will raise them with the principles of church.

I too felt as if I was being a hypocrite getting LO christened. But once I saw how incredibly happy it made his family, I was fine with it. Oddly my very very religious baptist parents were ok with it and came to the service.

If people do it for the party and presents I think that's messed up.

 

[Lindsey123]

I read someone on here the other day in a similar position who ultimately had a naming ceremony and 'odd parents' which I thought was fab

 

[SarahP13]

My daughters are christened and I do not consider myself overly religious, I do not really believe in god. I do, however, believe in Christianity. I believe the bible was written as a collection of stories to teach us how to live our lives. Church was a big part of my childhood, we went weekly, I often wrote and read the prayers and did the collection. I attended Sunday school and young followers. It felt like a real community and I have a real feeling of calm in my church.

DH and I are both christened (and I am confirmed), we were married in my church, the girls are christened there and I would like my ashes buried there. We believe in the values and morals of Christianity and want our daughters to grow up following them. We do not intend to go weekly or for it to be a 'big' part of our lives, however I want it to be familiar to the girls and for them to be open to it.

We explained all this to our vicar prior to the christenings and he was more than happy to go ahead. I think he appreciated our honesty! Religion, belief, faith etc all come in different ways and, perhaps as a more 'modern' vicar, he accepts this.

I am glad we have christened our daughters and it was certainly not for the party and presents!

 

[bubbles123]

Several Christian churchs near me no longer christen children. You can have a naming day for your child which the preacher comes too but it's not religious. I went to my friend's adult christening, it was great. They were all in a big spa tub! I went to one of her children's naming days too. You have to be 18+ and commited to the church yourself before they baptise you.
Our kids are not christened as we are not religious.