what is wrong with me why won't doctor help?

[donna noble]

I had a mc on Aug 2nd at about 8 weeks. It wa natural and my hcg dropped within a week and a half to below 5 and i was negative on a FRER. I thought I ovulated, I was sure I had O pain. Bout a week later I lightly spotted for a day. Then it started, morning sickness, very sore boobs, moods, cravings, EWCM big time. Everything. I had two positive HPTS and OPK on Sept 4. Through that week I had three more positives but they were light and this Monday FRER was negative. So I assumed chemcal pg. I had already made a Dr appy for that Wed becasue of the positives. I went in and they did a pee test negative. So the Dr that I have never seen before (and I have been to this clinic) SAid ya there is no way possible you could be pregnant no one gets pregnant that soon after a mc. I was like wtf yes they do. So then she said this is all caused by my hormones. I asked even cravings, and positive HPTs she said oh I don't know maybe you were pregnant then. I asked her to do a beta HCG blood and she refused, I asked for a vag us or at least a pelvic and she refused since I'm not pg. She set me up for some well woman exams that I didn't want. She said they could not test my hormones that was something I have to keep a diary of symptoms and have a real problem before they will do any tests. I was basically told this was all in my head.

So here I am over 40 days past my mc with no cycle according to her. She said i must be getting a period soon since my boobs are sore so there was no need for anything further. I'm scared to death. I have read online the reasons why you can get false positives and they are not good. I also think that if this is my hormones that messed up then I am now infertile and they will not even give me a hormone test. If it's progesterone that would be easily helped by cream. I hate my body for making me feel pregnant. Not only did I lose my baby but now I guess I can never have another and the doctor would not even help me. No one cares. My husband won't even touch me anymore. I work with men who don't even treat me like a woman since I don't have kids, I absolutely hate myself and I don't understand why the doctor treted me like I didn't deserve help. I have no hope at this point. I was afraid i would ever have a period again after mc and I was right I guess. So I lost the only baby I can ever have because I'm a bad person, I thought I was pg but I guess not so now I lost that hope, and now I'm infertile too and the doctors won't help me since it's too hard to test for hormones. She thought I had PCOS even though the doctor at the very same clinic who examined me with a pelvic and vag us earlier in August said I had no signs of PCOS or any physical reason I won't have normal cycles. So Someone is lying to me.

I don't know I know no one care and no one is even reading this. I didn't want to put it in the mc forum and scare other women into thinkig this will happen to them. It;s just useless me. I don't understand why a doctor didn't even care to refer me for tests. Am I really not worth that? People treat me bad as it is because of how I look. I have really bad teeth and am not real pretty. I'm fat and have small boobs so me don't like me. My husband only married me for my property not becasue how I look. I really hate myself. I don't even want to look at myself. Why is it so cruel that I lose my baby and now I'm not even a woman anymore at 38? I'm sorry. I have no one to talk to and well I knw no one read anyway.

 

[LJaydow]

Sweetie, firstly

I am so sorry you have been left hanging by the very unsympathetic GP. I would go back and see someone else, or if you cant maybe even change practices? You have a right to necessary investigations, and bloodwork whether HCG or for hormones relating to PCOS etc I would have thought would have been sensible.

Do you have anyone to support you? You sound terribly unhappy. You are not worthless in the slightest, not all Drs are like that but the good ones are rare.

Please see if you can boost your self confidence, and really love yourself. It sounds like there are many issues rolled into one here. If you are not being treated well at work, please speak to HR or ACAS about this to try and resolve it - you shouldnt be treated any differently. With regards to your husband not wanting to touch you, they are funny creatures and stress and all sorts can really throw them off, but maybe we can help you with that on BnB too if you put a seperate post up?

Huge hugs to you hun, itll all be ok, you just need to stay strong and see another GP.

 

[donna noble]

This was actually an OBGYN not a GP so I was utterly shocked that I came in after having several +hpts followed by a negative, that she was totally unconcerned with what that meant. I mean there are some pretty scarey conditions out there that cause that.Mostly I was worried about ectopic. I'm still having left side pain, it's actually worse today even going into my leg but not like sciatica. I don't understand why she didn't even offer any tests. She was literally nope your urine is negative there is no need for any tests or an exam. You can't be pg. This is a university hospital, not a backwater butcher shop. I mean, this is not standard practice am I right?

 

[Blueberri]

I'm not pregnant but she sounds like a, excuse my language, a heartless bitch. Surely any OBGYN can tell you that's a sign of miscarriage. Have you tried consulting someone else?

 

[Jaxvipe]

Im so sorry for your losses. Before I got pregnant with my daughter I had 3 miscarriages. The last two were back to back. I got pregnant mc, got pregnant start away again, and then mc'd and then got pregnant straight away after that and was able to carry my daughter with the help of progesterone. I know that alot of Dr's will not do any testing or anything unless you have had 3 documented losses. They put me on progesterone because with the 2nd mc when they did the beta HCG they tested my progesterone and it was low.

I know its such a hard time and such a long wait when all you want is a baby. Once you get another positive test I would call straight away and demand to have a beta HCG and progesterone test ASAP.

I hope you get your sticky bean soon!

 

[donna noble]

thank you I did talk with the original doctor I saw after my mc, and she did feel it sounds like a chemical pregnancy. I thought you bled right away with that but she said no, it could take several weeks just like any other mc, especially since I would have been at about 3 weeks when my tests started going negative. She didn't feel it would be ectopic because I should still have positive tests, but I have read otherwise online so I don't know how to feel about that. The pain in my left side is getting alot worse and it sure isn't cramps. Unless it means I'm close to a mc. All of pg symptoms have disappeared and my bbs are back to normal size though they still hurt bad! She also explained that PCOS is basically getting to be an explanation for any woman who may not ovulate regularly whether or not you actually have cystic ovaties or symptoms. I don't feel I have it. My ovaries aren't cystic and I don't have any other physical signs or factors for it. In general I had regular periods, just long cycles. I don't think I will actively ttc after this. It is just too physically and emotionally draining to go through all this, and I don't even think I want a baby anymore.

 

[Blueberri]

I'm sorry to hear that dear. Lots of and going your way. My inbox is always open if you need a chat. Though I'm not pregnant, it's a sad thing to have to go through.