What is wrong with me!?

[Amy92x]

I don't know why but for the past week I have been in an emotional fight with myself about wanting another baby.

Some of you may remember that I posted a thread here about a month ago thinking that I was pregnant but hoping I wasn't and the test was negative - what a relief it was at the time.

But now I have completely changed course and sometimes I wish it had been positive...

Like one day I will be fine and be glad I only have Chloe but then at night I will go to bed and literally cry because I am not pregnant. I did this last night and my husband asked me what was wrong and before I thought about what I was saying I had said "I want a baby".

I don't know what is going on with me, right now I wouldn't rule out having another (I never have) but don't particularly want one, but I know that within the next 24 hours I am going to go through a phase of "grieving" for not being pregnant.

I hope somebody else here has experienced this and can help, because if not I really don't have a clue what I am meant to do or what is causing this.

I am sure this isn't some kind of post-natal depression because I had Chloe over 5 months ago and have been completely fine until recently.

 

[Lovn.sunshine]

I can relate. I go through this on a regular basis. From day to day [sometimes even hour to hour] I go from aching for another baby to not ever wanting another [it usually plays off how Sofia is doing, whether she is sttn or not, when she's being fussy or has a cold or is being super adorably sweet and easy]. I've felt this way since days after having my daughter [which for the first few months I chalked up to hormones]. Since then the urgent almost devestating feeling of not being pregnant in the moment has faded ever so slightly but I honestly think about it nearly constantly. I'm not sure if it's purely hormonal at this point, missing the tiny baby phase or that I honestly truly want another so soon. [I've always wanted more than one and I LOVE the idea of a close age gap, but financially we're not ready, but I know if we had another we'd find a way to make it work but I can barely handle the lack of sleep but then again it's all just a phase <---- My thought pattern on a daily bases...]
I can't offer too much advice other than I feel you and I think it's "normal".

 

[seoj]

tbh- I've seen SO many threads about this. Especially the first several months to a year after LO is born... not sure why that is? Maybe it is hormone related? Or maybe because that first year flies by so quickly, we long to start it over? Personally, I'd go back and do it again- not literally again (with a new baby) lol- but with my daughter... and I'm absolutely sure I do not want more. But that twinge has still been there from time to time... it lessens the older my LO get's though. The more idependent she is... the more she grows and melts my heart... the more I know I'm complete with our little family Even though there was a time I thought *maybe* I was prego- and took a test and even for a split moment I was a bit disappointed... then thought better of it!

No one knows what tomorrow may bring hun... so just enjoy what you do have today. There is nothing wrong with you. But it's not a decision you need to make here and now- or on your own. You and OH will decide when/if the time is right. and really, no matter when that is- how can we ever imagine it being any other way?