What is wrong with men of today??

[darsilver1]

Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with men....Is there an epidemic happening. I hear so many stories of women in single parent forum and women from 3rd trimester forum having failed relationships or problems. Just makes me wonder sometimes. So much outrageous behavior going on. So, I sent my LO father a message via facebook (he changed his # and I dont have it nor do I want to have it) about the status of LO at her recent prenatal appointment. LO has IUGR condition and has been struggling with growth since 28 weeks. Anyway, so I sent him my usual update on LO. He has told me he wont help/provide any money to prepare for LO until he gets a DNA test to prove LO is his..[Mind you, we were supposed to be getting married this summer and I broke it off with him because he was being controlling and verbally abusive to me] Anyway, so he is super pissed off and has been acting nasty towards me ever since I broke it off with him. When I broke it off with him I had a few of my belongings at his place. When he sent me a nasty message on facebook last night in response to my LO recent prenatal appt I decided it was high time to arrange for my stuff to be gotten from his place. He has been going around telling everyone LO isnt his but he insists he wants to come to delivery. Confuses the hell out of me. I had to ask a friend to act as a mediator and ask LO father if she could take my stuff and hold it at her place until I can come up to state of Maryland in November (currently close to due date so cant travel now) as I currently live in GA (900 miles away)...He agreed so now I am anxiously awaiting to get confirmation from friend that she got my stuff so I can be done with him...I have decided against allowing him at the delivery. I plan to file for child support and that will be the extent of our relationship. Its been so hard this pregnancy and I just want to be done with him. He talks so nasty towards me and bashes my family. I have really become disliking of men. I cant understand how a person could not care about a baby, a little helpless baby.

 

[emf81]

Hope your ok,
I think the problem with men is that they are breathing!
Plus you know when they are lying they open their mouth!

Ha ha I hate men right now, I can't imagine ever wanting one again! Do agree tho there are so many of them about it is unreal! It seems none of them are worth while xxx

 

[darsilver1]

I know right? After I have my LO I vow to be single for a good while..Going to focus on spending time with my kids and traveling. Its going to take me a long time to heal from what I have gone through this year and pregnancy but I am doing good...As long as I keep focused I should be fine...I am sorry you hate men....I wish none of us felt that way. I still believe there has to be some good guys out there...Just have to be patient and NO MORE BABIES thanks for reading and responding to my vent

 

[Mally01]

I pretty much feel this way right now as my partner has left me for his own reason (He lost a child before but obviously not thinking about this new one coming). He was my partner and best friend and I feel so betrayed. I think sadly men are ten times more selfish than women - we have to be unselfish in character because we nurture and take care of children as an instint. A lot of men seem to look at every problem that crops up from their own perspective not others. I don't understand it fully either as who can be so callous as to just abandon their baby. But this is done a lot by a lot of men, all we women can do when men leave us with the baby is overcompensate for this and love the babies we are carrying with all our heart. What else can you do? I can't make my partner want this baby if he doesn't want to

 

[stephanie20]

I feel the same way, was with my ex for 7 months and he was controlling, didn't see it at the time and he said if we had a baby we'd stop arguing so stupidly i stopped taking contraception and I fell pregnant, at first he was excited and then two weeks later he left me and moved back home :/

I don't understand what went on his head and why he is being so nasty towards me and his unborn child.

I too vow to be single when my baby is born until someone decent comes along, I've had it with men, and they say we are confusing? Yeah okay... lol

 

[darsilver1]

I feel the same way, was with my ex for 7 months and he was controlling, didn't see it at the time and he said if we had a baby we'd stop arguing so stupidly i stopped taking contraception and I fell pregnant, at first he was excited and then two weeks later he left me and moved back home :/

I don't understand what went on his head and why he is being so nasty towards me and his unborn child.

I too vow to be single when my baby is born until someone decent comes along, I've had it with men, and they say we are confusing? Yeah okay... lol

I was having a talk with my brother last night...he said something that really put things into perspective for me. This may not be true in your case or it may true. My brother was telling me that the fact that my LO father has been overly nasty towards me and has stated he is bothered by my presence is the fact that in many ways he truly deep down still has feelings for me and is still hurt about me leaving him 5 months ago. If LO father truly was over me he wouldnt carry so much anger. He wouldnt feel bother by the fact that I exist because in essence my existence means nothing to him but in fact it does mean something to him because he acts so bothered and angry. Prior to the breakup, LO father really wanted a family and acted as if he was so excited to have a baby coming on the way. Now that I have left him, he may feel like I have taken that dream from him. In essence he can't stand that I am not with him but is so filled with anger that he doesnt know how to handle being without me and LO. Everyone situation is different. I truly believe this explanation applies to mine...In my heart I know I could have stuck it out with him but I have been burnt so many times from men in the past that when I felt like he was starting to act like an ass, I kicked him to curb when he didnt hear my warnings. In his heart he truly believes I was going to come back because all the other women in is life did the same...He is very insecure and has low self esteem, he has even admitted that to me...Told me he will do things to get people to like him. He often tries to be someone he is not to be liked. I on the other hand have been the real me in the relationship. I know I have...I even validated this during my recent counseling session. I realize that in the situation I am, I have a good understanding of myself and that LO father has a lot of soul searching to do. So I definitely will be distancing myself from him even more so because I cant risk him hurting LO.

I think you are doing a good thing by staying single when LO is born. Give yourself time to find out what it is you look for in a good partner. Take your time when getting to know people. I truly believe you will find someone. At the end of the day, everyone has a soulmate out there or maybe even more if we are really lucky

 

[stephanie20]

I feel the same way, was with my ex for 7 months and he was controlling, didn't see it at the time and he said if we had a baby we'd stop arguing so stupidly i stopped taking contraception and I fell pregnant, at first he was excited and then two weeks later he left me and moved back home :/

I don't understand what went on his head and why he is being so nasty towards me and his unborn child.

I too vow to be single when my baby is born until someone decent comes along, I've had it with men, and they say we are confusing? Yeah okay... lol

I was having a talk with my brother last night...he said something that really put things into perspective for me. This may not be true in your case or it may true. My brother was telling me that the fact that my LO father has been overly nasty towards me and has stated he is bothered by my presence is the fact that in many ways he truly deep down still has feelings for me and is still hurt about me leaving him 5 months ago. If LO father truly was over me he wouldnt carry so much anger. He wouldnt feel bother by the fact that I exist because in essence my existence means nothing to him but in fact it does mean something to him because he acts so bothered and angry. Prior to the breakup, LO father really wanted a family and acted as if he was so excited to have a baby coming on the way. Now that I have left him, he may feel like I have taken that dream from him. In essence he can't stand that I am not with him but is so filled with anger that he doesnt know how to handle being without me and LO. Everyone situation is different. I truly believe this explanation applies to mine...In my heart I know I could have stuck it out with him but I have been burnt so many times from men in the past that when I felt like he was starting to act like an ass, I kicked him to curb when he didnt hear my warnings. In his heart he truly believes I was going to come back because all the other women in is life did the same...He is very insecure and has low self esteem, he has even admitted that to me...Told me he will do things to get people to like him. He often tries to be someone he is not to be liked. I on the other hand have been the real me in the relationship. I know I have...I even validated this during my recent counseling session. I realize that in the situation I am, I have a good understanding of myself and that LO father has a lot of soul searching to do. So I definitely will be distancing myself from him even more so because I cant risk him hurting LO.

I think you are doing a good thing by staying single when LO is born. Give yourself time to find out what it is you look for in a good partner. Take your time when getting to know people. I truly believe you will find someone. At the end of the day, everyone has a soulmate out there or maybe even more if we are really lucky

yeahh i agree with you there, i do think he still has some feelings for me because if he didn't he would be just ignoring me, not hating me and doing stupid things to annoy me.

and he wanted a family with me, i just think he got too scared about it all and left me, to be honest though even if he asked for me back now I'd probably say no because he did this to me, left me when i needed him the most because he was scared, I couldn't run away from it so he shouldn't have either.

in my eyes hes blown it with me now but I know I will find someone else in the near future, looking forward to a few years with my LO on my own first though

 

[darsilver1]

I feel the same way, was with my ex for 7 months and he was controlling, didn't see it at the time and he said if we had a baby we'd stop arguing so stupidly i stopped taking contraception and I fell pregnant, at first he was excited and then two weeks later he left me and moved back home :/

I don't understand what went on his head and why he is being so nasty towards me and his unborn child.

I too vow to be single when my baby is born until someone decent comes along, I've had it with men, and they say we are confusing? Yeah okay... lol

I was having a talk with my brother last night...he said something that really put things into perspective for me. This may not be true in your case or it may true. My brother was telling me that the fact that my LO father has been overly nasty towards me and has stated he is bothered by my presence is the fact that in many ways he truly deep down still has feelings for me and is still hurt about me leaving him 5 months ago. If LO father truly was over me he wouldnt carry so much anger. He wouldnt feel bother by the fact that I exist because in essence my existence means nothing to him but in fact it does mean something to him because he acts so bothered and angry. Prior to the breakup, LO father really wanted a family and acted as if he was so excited to have a baby coming on the way. Now that I have left him, he may feel like I have taken that dream from him. In essence he can't stand that I am not with him but is so filled with anger that he doesnt know how to handle being without me and LO. Everyone situation is different. I truly believe this explanation applies to mine...In my heart I know I could have stuck it out with him but I have been burnt so many times from men in the past that when I felt like he was starting to act like an ass, I kicked him to curb when he didnt hear my warnings. In his heart he truly believes I was going to come back because all the other women in is life did the same...He is very insecure and has low self esteem, he has even admitted that to me...Told me he will do things to get people to like him. He often tries to be someone he is not to be liked. I on the other hand have been the real me in the relationship. I know I have...I even validated this during my recent counseling session. I realize that in the situation I am, I have a good understanding of myself and that LO father has a lot of soul searching to do. So I definitely will be distancing myself from him even more so because I cant risk him hurting LO.

I think you are doing a good thing by staying single when LO is born. Give yourself time to find out what it is you look for in a good partner. Take your time when getting to know people. I truly believe you will find someone. At the end of the day, everyone has a soulmate out there or maybe even more if we are really lucky

yeahh i agree with you there, i do think he still has some feelings for me because if he didn't he would be just ignoring me, not hating me and doing stupid things to annoy me.

and he wanted a family with me, i just think he got too scared about it all and left me, to be honest though even if he asked for me back now I'd probably say no because he did this to me, left me when i needed him the most because he was scared, I couldn't run away from it so he shouldn't have either.

in my eyes hes blown it with me now but I know I will find someone else in the near future, looking forward to a few years with my LO on my own first though

Stephanie,
I am really proud of you...You are standing up for yourself and LO. You are so right to not take him back if you had the chance. When you are with someone they should be with you through thick and thin. If he was scared he should have told you. You would have respected him for that. He should have been honest and real with you. Told you that he needed sometime to get himself ready to be a dad. I could understand that, I could accept that. but for him to leave you when you needed him most is so wrong. Dont ever forget that Stephanie. Remember you deserve the best and you will get the best. I think you will find it rewarding as well as challenging spending time alone with LO but at the end of it all you will learn yourself and understand what it is that you want in a partner. I am doing that now...Learning who I am and I am really excited because now I know what I want and what I wont settle for. So do you have family that is helpful and supporting you? Do you have a support system in place?

 

[stephanie20]

I feel the same way, was with my ex for 7 months and he was controlling, didn't see it at the time and he said if we had a baby we'd stop arguing so stupidly i stopped taking contraception and I fell pregnant, at first he was excited and then two weeks later he left me and moved back home :/

I don't understand what went on his head and why he is being so nasty towards me and his unborn child.

I too vow to be single when my baby is born until someone decent comes along, I've had it with men, and they say we are confusing? Yeah okay... lol

I was having a talk with my brother last night...he said something that really put things into perspective for me. This may not be true in your case or it may true. My brother was telling me that the fact that my LO father has been overly nasty towards me and has stated he is bothered by my presence is the fact that in many ways he truly deep down still has feelings for me and is still hurt about me leaving him 5 months ago. If LO father truly was over me he wouldnt carry so much anger. He wouldnt feel bother by the fact that I exist because in essence my existence means nothing to him but in fact it does mean something to him because he acts so bothered and angry. Prior to the breakup, LO father really wanted a family and acted as if he was so excited to have a baby coming on the way. Now that I have left him, he may feel like I have taken that dream from him. In essence he can't stand that I am not with him but is so filled with anger that he doesnt know how to handle being without me and LO. Everyone situation is different. I truly believe this explanation applies to mine...In my heart I know I could have stuck it out with him but I have been burnt so many times from men in the past that when I felt like he was starting to act like an ass, I kicked him to curb when he didnt hear my warnings. In his heart he truly believes I was going to come back because all the other women in is life did the same...He is very insecure and has low self esteem, he has even admitted that to me...Told me he will do things to get people to like him. He often tries to be someone he is not to be liked. I on the other hand have been the real me in the relationship. I know I have...I even validated this during my recent counseling session. I realize that in the situation I am, I have a good understanding of myself and that LO father has a lot of soul searching to do. So I definitely will be distancing myself from him even more so because I cant risk him hurting LO.

I think you are doing a good thing by staying single when LO is born. Give yourself time to find out what it is you look for in a good partner. Take your time when getting to know people. I truly believe you will find someone. At the end of the day, everyone has a soulmate out there or maybe even more if we are really lucky

yeahh i agree with you there, i do think he still has some feelings for me because if he didn't he would be just ignoring me, not hating me and doing stupid things to annoy me.

and he wanted a family with me, i just think he got too scared about it all and left me, to be honest though even if he asked for me back now I'd probably say no because he did this to me, left me when i needed him the most because he was scared, I couldn't run away from it so he shouldn't have either.

in my eyes hes blown it with me now but I know I will find someone else in the near future, looking forward to a few years with my LO on my own first though

Stephanie,
I am really proud of you...You are standing up for yourself and LO. You are so right to not take him back if you had the chance. When you are with someone they should be with you through thick and thin. If he was scared he should have told you. You would have respected him for that. He should have been honest and real with you. Told you that he needed sometime to get himself ready to be a dad. I could understand that, I could accept that. but for him to leave you when you needed him most is so wrong. Dont ever forget that Stephanie. Remember you deserve the best and you will get the best. I think you will find it rewarding as well as challenging spending time alone with LO but at the end of it all you will learn yourself and understand what it is that you want in a partner. I am doing that now...Learning who I am and I am really excited because now I know what I want and what I wont settle for. So do you have family that is helpful and supporting you? Do you have a support system in place?

I know, i would have respected him if he'd told me he was scared and probably the relationship would have been stronger but he ran away and I can't forgive that. Then on top of that hes acted the way he has, like at my first scan he came with me and said he was "gutted" when he saw the baby on the screen etc. And then he told my ex that its his baby when I know for a fact its not. Theres no way I'd take him back after that.

And I know I am sure there will be someone else out there that is willing to take care of me and LO and I am looking forward to meeting that person but I am also looking forward to a few years by myself with LO.

I know now that if someone treats me like he did I wouldn't stand for it, it wasn't fair and I am worth a lot more than that just like everybody is

And yes, my family are supportive although I will have to move out when I give birth, theres not enough room here and I have always dreaded living on my own but I suppose its time to grow up lol

 

[amotherslove]

as soon as you find out what is wrong with men, let me know.. i would love to fix it..

 

[darsilver1]

as soon as you find out what is wrong with men, let me know.. i would love to fix it..

You had me laughing with this one

 

[Happy]

They are insane!