what level of anger is normal for a 1 year old?

[BabyMamma93]

Thing M has done since he has been able to are crazy, when he was sitting up (aided) he started throwing himself back vigorously, as hes gotten older and more able his temper is atrocious, i know young children and babies do have a little temper and they do things as they are learning but seriously, if you could see what M does on a daily basis you would be shocked.

He is a viscious little boy, always smacking, nipping, pulling hair etc. he throws toys, hits people with toys really hard! if he is playing and i want him to come to me, if i try to move in away he tantrums and bangs his head on the floor, really hard, not just once, if he doesnt do that then he bites the closes thing to him whether thats you, him or the toy.
if he is sat with his back against the wall he will just randomly start hitting his head on the wall, looks entrigued and does it harder, last night he found it that funny he decided to do it facing the wall, so he banged his head and started crying then did it again, i moved him away and he threw a tantrum started throwing himself down and tried biting me, when he failed at that he sat up and smacked me, then again, so i moved him away from me and walked out of his bedroom for him to scream the house down.
he will pull my face just to bite me, or nut me, he will literally sit there and randomly do something to purposly hurt himself. he also gets angry very easy, my OH was playing with him the other day and he did something so that M couldnt open the door to his toy car so he decided to dive at my OH and bite his leg, he then turned back to bite his toy, then head but it, then he decided to sit there smacking and punching himself in the face.

he has a row of small bruises along his forehead from banging it, his nose is always red from him punching it, and im pretty sure, he will have a constant head ache from banging his head that often.

he isnt a spoilt child, he doesnt get his own way and he isnt allowed to hit people with toys, or anything in that matter!

surely this level of anger and tantrum-ing isnt normal!!

 

[wish4baby]

My almost 14 month old daughter has a terrible temper too...she freaks out if she doesn't get something she wants or if something makes her mad - she'll scream so long & loud that she literally passes out (this will happen in less than a minute, I don't leave her to cry or anything - it's almost like 1 super long exhale, she never breathes in, then turns all shades and goes limp). After the first time it happened, I took her to the doctor who checked her out & then told me it was "100% behavioral" I was shocked! I thought she had a seizure or something!!!

She'll hold her breath, hit (with toys or her hands), scratch at my face (this is reserved for when she wants to nurse & I don't give it to her that second). She also "roars" really loud and aggressively right in my face - or the face of anyone who is "upsetting" her - mostly her poor older siblings who then give her whatever they had that she wanted.
I get so panicked over the passing out thing that she's been getting anything she wants right away, now she's figured it out & will look at me and start to scream a little, then stop and wait because she knows she's gotten her way

One of my older sons had temper tantrums for a while, too. He'd do as your son and throw himself back & end up hitting his head. One time he threw himself back & I darted behind to scoop him up (as I usually did to prevent him from injuring himself) but somehow he knocked me in the face with the back of his skull. It bloodied my nose and lips. He must've been almost 3 at that time.I set him down, walked off & never picked him up during a head throwing temper tantrum again. It stopped pretty quickly when I started ignoring it - I wouldn't even ask if he was ok or acknowledge it in any way, just talked to him as if we were having a regular conversation.May of been just his age/getting older, maybe he realized it actually hurt or maybe it was because he wasn't getting attention from it...I don't know, but it definitely didn't last past age 3!
He's a normal, healthy, not angry 10 year old now, so I wouldn't worry!

 

[BabyMamma93]

Last night i was stopping him from getting to the cooker, he crawled off and banged his face on the floor, he didnt majorly hurt anything but he cried for a little and wouldnt come to me, then last night in bed he wass doing the same because i wouldnt let him play, instead it was his head.

i dont know how to deal with it though, i could leave him and not show him attention, i tried that last night and this morning but he was hitting his head harder, but i dont want to give him attention if thats why hes doing it!

 

[wish4baby]

My pedi told me I should place my 14 month old in a safe place when she loses it, and walk away. I haven't done it & agree with you, I can't just leave her to scream. I always pick her up and comfort her and usually give her what it is that's upsetting her, or if she can't b/c it's dangerous, I give her something else. (A few licks from a Popsicle is miraculous! Lol) but, do I think what I am doing is right??? probably not, but I won't let her pass out, bang her head and hurt herself. I don't think that's right, either!

I also comforted my son and helped him, until he was nearly 3. At that time, I just started speaking to him calmly and ignored the behavior, not him, if that makes sense.
At that age, I think it's way different than a 1 year old...and ignoring it at almost 3 y/o -IMO - made him stop. I think it would be WORSE if I ignored my 14 month old when she does it!

So, I guess I'm not much help, just wanted you to know you're not alone, and it'll pass eventually one way or another

 

[ZooMa]

Sounds awful. I'm sorry are you going through this. I know every child is different and tantrums are a normal stage of development but I think you're right want to minimize this. Have you checked out ahaparenting.com on tips on how to mitigate temper? I like that they do time ins instead of timeouts to help address the emotional needs of the kid. Good luck.

 

[felix555]

The head banging and anger sounds a bit excessive? I'd mention it to the HV at his one year review.

 

[BabyMamma93]

i swear every day this is getting worse!!
its little things that tip him off, ill give you an example, he has a little wooden push along cart thing, it got stuck and he couldnt turn t around, he started to get angry and i walked towards him to turn it for him but he already started to bang his head on the handle then when i put my hand there to pick it up he tried to bite my hand, so i took it off him, he threw a tantrum and then started head butting the floor, i tried to pick him up and he kicked off more so i just sat him on the rug and left him alone, he soon calmed down but it wasnt long till he started again! there is a constant mark on his forehead where he is always banging it.
he can be a loely little boy, he has recently started giving me cuddles but straight after he will smack me in the face, bite my nose or pull my hair!!

 

[Linnypops]

I'm part of a high needs support group and some of the HN toddlers on there have that kind of anger - some of the mums on there have had success with different behavioural approaches, though because I don't have this issue I don't personally know what they are..... Something which struck me about your post though was that you went to help him....have you tried not helping him when he gets frustrated?

 

[BabyMamma93]

when you say not helping him, do you mean in regards to him getting angry that he cant move his toys? yes i have and he still does the same, head buts the handle (or whatever it is hes trying to move) bites it, or throws himself on the floor.
its really hard to explain if i cant show you what hes like, people are always asking what hes done to his head bcos there is a constant bruise there.
i have some people telling me his behaviour is normal and there is no way to 'diagnose' any behavioural problems this early on, which i understand, but i wish i knew how to deal with it before he really hurts himself!

 

[felix555]

There is someone that posted something very similar to this in the toddler group and also the special needs support ... maybe ask the same question there and the poster might see?

I can't remember who the poster was or what her LO was diagnosed with in the end I will try find the thread ....

 

[Linnypops]

Yeah I was just meaning that. Wasn't sure if the anger was connected to wainting to do it himself. Lots of kids in the HN thing have sensory issues and do things like hit their heads, bite things for sensory input. You could look into that.. Other thoughts - Teething apparently causes head butting. Also read that some food additives can cause these kinds of behaviours. I don't know where you'd start on all that to be honest i'm just throwing out stuff i've read or come across. Sounds tough anyway - do you get help?

 

[_jellybean_]

Hi. I'd talk to lo's doctor, definitely. So sorry you're going through this. Agree with a pp about ahaparenting. I really like that site.

 

[BabyMamma93]

my OH helps, but he has a differevnt view on it, i would say to ignore the behaviour when he does it, or remove the object maybe, but he is much stricter in that he picks him up and sits him in front of him then stops him from doing it, with how things are atm (OH broken hand) M does go with other people during the day, well i say people, OHs sister has had him a few times and my mum had him the other day, they both tell me he has been good as gold, he only ever hit his head yesterday when OH sister had him for a few hours. but at my mums he didnt and times before when OH sister had him he didnt, but i went to my mums with him on monday and he was doing it then, my mum said its just me, but what am i doing thats causing this behaviour? i wasnt even doing anything, when he did it at my mums it was just for no reason he just did it..

when he was younger and he used to do it it started when he accidentally banged his head, then he must have been a little curious and carried on, since then he just does it every day at least a few times a day.

i have looked at that site but i dont really understand it, i couldnt find anything haha

 

[BabyMamma93]

i have just read on baby center that head butting can be caused by pain of teething, ear infections etc. and come to think of it M does put his hand to his right ear alot, but i always assumed he was playing, you know like putting a phone to his ear, because he does that when playing too...

would you suggest seeing the Dr or HV? i need to see HV anyway soon for him to be weighed, and we will be seeing the GP nurse next week for his jabs finally (only been put off for past 3 week)

 

[Linnypops]

It can't hurt to speak to a doctor or HV about it....Kids always act up more infront of their mums. For example A toddler will tantrum a lot more at home with their parents than with other carers - it's not anything you've 'done' it's just how they are - just in case you were worrying about that aspect of it.

 

[_jellybean_]

Yeah, I would go to the doctor, esp if he is touching or pulling his ear. I'd ask for ideas about what you could do to help with the headbutting, esp if he is hurting himself.

 

[BabyMamma93]

thanks guys, i am taking him on tuesday hopefully for his jabs so i will make a app then too